WWAWD Michelin star restaurants

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I ate at Le Bernardin last summer (not my idea). It was strange. When you eat at a nice restaurant like that, the waiter doesn't leave you alone. Me, being a retarded redneck, didn't know this. They bother you every 15 minutes or so, to bring you a course and tell you what it is. It was obnoxious. It destroyed any intimacy. There was also a steakhouse across the street and jesus christ I would have rather have blown the $500 there for some big fawkin steaks as opposed to high concept soups and a raw fish entree that looked exactly like a spread-open cunt. The food was delicious but since I am a retard, I would have gotten more enjoyment out of a $30 pizza

 

[guest]

yeah it's way too weird. and they like pour you a little bit of wine and wait for you to drink it... wtf you meant to do? it tastes like wine. "mm yep good."

I actually asked the chick what happens if I don't like it, since they already opened the bottle, and she said "yeah you'd still have to pay for it" lol.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

What's wrong with the TV dinners we got at home? I can eat with my balls hanging outta my drawers and not have some fruit leaning over, telling me about the gravy on my Swedish meatballs.

 

[guest]

good thing is you can order literally anything and it'll taste good. whereas at any other restaurant you have to be picky as fuck and stick with your usual thing since there's a 99% chance it'll be shit.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Also they had to give me a jacket before we sat down, since it was fucking the middle of summer in NYC and I had a polo shirt and slacks on. Give me a fucking break, am I that much of a goddamned hillbilly that you need to give a motherfucking jacket to be inside your faggot restaurant? Eric Ripert you are a dicklicker

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

good thing is you can order literally anything and it'll taste good. whereas at any other restaurant you have to be picky as fuck and stick with your usual thing since there's a 99% chance it'll be shit.

Yeah I aint gonna bullshit and act like the food sucked, the food was incredible

 

[LingerLonger]

My friend "took" a bunch of couples out to a Michelin star tasting menu. Was $750 per couple. Dozen plates each over the course of the night with maybe a bite or two of food on each plate. Wine was another $500 per couple on top of that. Foods were all shaped like square blocks or cubes no matter what they were made of. This fucking faggot, my friend, called everyone's wives directly without asking the men if we wanted to go nor informing us of the prices because he knew no one would say yes. All because he wanted to impress his idiot wife.

A plate was like a cube of mashed avocado and a cube of fish. Or a cube of steak and a cube of a fried potato. Not enough to feed a bird. One of the salads was a piece of spinach with a few super thin sliced carrots the long way, all tied in knots, resting on top of the spinach leaf. I should have slit the waitress's throat right there. Or poured coffee on her like in that domestic violence PSA. "She spilled my coffee!!". I had never had that faggy modern communist 'haute cuisine' before and I could not believe people actually enjoyed eating like this.

After that 'dinner' all of the men went to a Quiznos (do those even exist anymore?) while the women went to an art gallery. This guy who invited everyone divorced his wife a year or so later. And one time the ex-wife's father came to pick up her stuff and looked at this guy and said "you're a piece of shit and you should be ashamed" and walked away. Apparently the ex-wife told her parents that the guy cheated on her and hit her, because she was embarrassed to say that she left him because she just didn't like how cheap he was and wouldn't take her to her favorite restaurants every night.

Point is that Michelin food is overrated and barely qualifies as food.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Quiznos (do those even exist anymore?)

No, they tried to massively fuck over their franchisees and destroyed their business

 

[Stent]

yeah it's way too weird. and they like pour you a little bit of wine and wait for you to drink it... wtf you meant to do? it tastes like wine. "mm yep good."

I actually asked the chick what happens if I don't like it, since they already opened the bottle, and she said "yeah you'd still have to pay for it" lol.

You're not checking whether it's the right flavor of purple drank, you're checking whether it's corked.

If you don't know what you're doing, just pick up the glass, sip it and say "That's fine, thank you". You'll look like an actual adult.

 

[guest]

You're not checking whether it's the right flavor of purple drank, you're checking whether it's corked.

If you don't know what you're doing, just pick up the glass, sip it and say "That's fine, thank you". You'll look like an actual adult.

what the fuck does corked mean, who gives a shit
is that like when you stick a cork in your bunghole

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

is that like when you stick a cork in your bunghole

yes, but once again, its just another thing you can do at home for free

 

[guest]

yeah it's way too weird. and they like pour you a little bit of wine and wait for you to drink it... wtf you meant to do? it tastes like wine. "mm yep good."

I actually asked the chick what happens if I don't like it, since they already opened the bottle, and she said "yeah you'd still have to pay for it" lol.

Come on man, you’re a grownup with a real job.

They don’t give it to you to taste if you like it, it’s to make sure it hasn’t gone bad and that it’s the right kind of wine. They should also show you the label first for you to confirm it’s the right vintage and whatnot.

 

[Stent]

what the fuck does corked mean, who gives a shit
is that like when you stick a cork in your bunghole

It's checking if the wine is bad. It has a weird smell or taste to it. Most people can't tell but that's true of everything in life. It's more of a social nicety for the dining experience. It's like not wearing a hat. Nobody is affected by someone wearing a hat, but you don't do it because it says you're an uncouth asshole

tonysopranostandingoverdouchebaginrestaurant.gif

 

[guest]

Come on man, you’re a grownup with a real job.

They don’t give it to you to taste if you like it, it’s to make sure it hasn’t gone bad and that it’s the right kind of wine. They should also show you the label first for you to confirm it’s the right vintage and whatnot.

It's checking if the wine is bad. It has a weird smell or taste to it. Most people can't tell but that's true of everything in life. It's more of a social nicety for the dining experience. It's like not wearing a hat. Nobody is affected by someone wearing a hat, but you don't do it because it says you're an uncouth asshole

tonysopranostandingoverdouchebaginrestaurant.gif

I'm learning a lot

 

[guest]

I went to a fast food place one time that had a Michelin star. That was really good and wasn’t expensive.

 

[guest]

I'm learning a lot

You should go take a wine tasting class, especially if you’re going on all these dates all the time or if you happen to live in a place that makes good wines. I should too, I did one like 20 years ago and don’t remember shit from it.

 

[Stent]

I'm learning a lot

Welcome to the Young Gentlemen's Club. (Sons of Single Moms' Club was too depressing sounding)

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

yeah it's way too weird. and they like pour you a little bit of wine and wait for you to drink it... wtf you meant to do? it tastes like wine. "mm yep good."

I actually asked the chick what happens if I don't like it, since they already opened the bottle, and she said "yeah you'd still have to pay for it" lol.

It's to see if the wine is "off" -- this used to be more common. It's not to see if you like the particular wine... it's to give you the chance to make sure it's not sour or fucked up in some way

If it were "off," the sommelier would try it and you would get a new bottle.

*EDIT* I just saw other brothermen of culture have already answered. Fuck it, i'm leaving it

 

[guest]

It's to see if the wine is "off" -- this used to be more common. It's not to see if you like the particular wine... it's to give you the chance to make sure it's not sour or fucked up in some way

If it were "off," the sommelier would try it and you would get a new bottle.

damn so I made an ass of myself asking the waitress that question... lmao. Chick I was with probably thought I was a dope.

 

[guest]

damn so I made an ass of myself asking the waitress that question... lmao. Chick I was with probably thought I was a dope.

Yeah probably