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WWAWD Having extremely loud farts when you wake up

DiarrheaDick

Get up here and shut up!
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I suppose if its an issue you can fashion a silencer out of a bubble tea straw and some electrical tape to allow the fart to flow freely and quietly out of the butt.

Fawkin Rube Goldberg over here.

WWAWD putting a paper towel tube on your ass to make your farts even louder.

Paper towel tube in your ass? What are you 12?

Anyone wake themselves up with fart? How about farting in bed in such a way that your lady looks over to make sure the sound she just heard wasn't your dying breath?
 
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