WWAW constipation

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

I made a post recently about drinking this
View attachment 51202

a normal glass of that will make you diarrhea your shit right out, so if you're constipated then maybe it'll be normal

Added points for it making your shit storm look like a bloody crime scene.

 

[DanFielding]

One summer when I was in grade school I was so badly constipated my parents had to give me an enema. I think I went almost 10 days without shitting.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Consume a lot of salt. I drank too much salt water (I added salt to water, not from the ocean) and I think it drew my body water to my bowels. I was diarrhea shitting dark green for hours.

Some people use Epsom salt in the morning to take a massive shit.

 

[Udders]

they put me on a parkinsons drug when i'm in the mental hospital to stop me from trembling from the antipsychotics and it makes me super constipated. so they give me a laxative. well i was in the freaking shower when it hit and the shower room is separate from the toilet. so i had no choice but to waffle stomp it.

I've never heard the waffle stomp term, that's hilarious.

 

[Opesterino]

Many years ago a guy who dated my aunt got brain cancer. He got bottles and bottles of oxys and all the other pain relievers for both short and long term pain. After about 6 months he had to mix vaseline into powdered sugar and make M&M sized balls from it and swallow those so he could go. Fate worse than death itself. He was a hell of a trooper and was an all around good guy.

 

[captain_kamala]

shit if we're recommending things, try castor oil. i was 42 weeks pregnant scheduled to be induced the next day. i shit until there were jets of water coming out of my asshole. gave birth naturally NO MEDICATION 15 minutes after i got to the hospital. my second was born in 6 minutes.

 

[aRTie02150]

I remember shitting myself at home when I was a kid. I was home alone of course so had time to figure out what to do before my mom came home at midnight. I remember thinking it was the best course of action to throw my soiled underwear into the corner storm drain outside. That way neither of my parents would find them in the trash or anything.

2 days later I'm leaving the house for school and seen city works doing street work in one of the sewers that was basically right next to the storm drain. I remember freaking out thinking I was responsible for some damage because of my underwear causing some backup, but no. It was just perfect timing and they were doing regular maintenance. I'm pretty sure they did find the underwear though because I didn't see them when I walked past that drain days after.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

One summer when I was in grade school I was so badly constipated my parents had to give me an enema. I think I went almost 10 days without shitting.

I once fractured my tailbone, fell down a flight of metal stairs and landed directly on my O-ring. On top of the pain, which was considerable, my asshole completely and totally locked up and whenever I tried to consciously relax it, it hurt like a motherfucker. Plus, the doctor I saw gave me some percocets, which further gummed up the colonic works. Really funny guy, that doctor, told me I should "stay off it for a while".

Didn't shit for eight days. Then came the ninth day. That shit was pain on a whole different level than any other pain I've experienced before or since. I dropped an absolute telephone pole, a shit so big it'd have hurt severely even without the crippling anus injury. Eyes watering, covered in sweat, gently dabbing at my shattered rectum with cold, moistened paper that quickly turned pink from the blood. It was probably the greatest and worst dump I've ever taken. I was sitting all gingerly for days after that one.

Whenever I get all backed up I chug some milk of magnesia. Usually within a day you end up blowing out that troublesome shit cork and the rest comes pouring out behind it. Tastes like shit, though.

 

[Brooke Shields]

gave birth naturally NO MEDICATION

 

[Brooke Shields]

Usually within a day you end up blowing out that troublesome shit cork and the rest comes pouring out behind it. Tastes like shit, though.

why would you taste your own shit you fucking sicko

 

[guest]

I didn't shit for like 4 or 5 days, and I was in horrible pain. I got desperate and way overdid it. Took a double dose of laxative, a stool softener, drank some kind of tea that was supposed to help and tons of water. My girlfriend comes over, and I tell her what I've done. She tells me I'm fucked. Well, not long after, I dropped a pretty decent log and felt much better.

Then it was hell. I woke up at 5 AM feeling like I was being stabbed in the gut. Some of the worst pain I've ever felt. My girlfriend is still sleeping, and I shamble to the can. I fire off what seems to be every ounce of liquid in my body, but the pain doesn't go away. Then I start farting. It was like those post-colonoscopy videos. Would have been funny if I wasn't convinced I was dying. It went for about half an hour until the pain subsided. About halfway through, I hear some kind of muffled noise coming from the bedroom. After I come out of the bathroom, my girlfriend is crying laughing at me.

 

[guest]

I didn't shit for like 4 or 5 days, and I was in horrible pain. I got desperate and way overdid it. Took a double dose of laxative, a stool softener, drank some kind of tea that was supposed to help and tons of water. My girlfriend comes over, and I tell her what I've done. She tells me I'm fucked. Well, not long after, I dropped a pretty decent log and felt much better.

Then it was hell. I woke up at 5 AM feeling like I was being stabbed in the gut. Some of the worst pain I've ever felt. My girlfriend is still sleeping, and I shamble to the can. I fire off what seems to be every ounce of liquid in my body, but the pain doesn't go away. Then I start farting. It was like those post-colonoscopy videos. Would have been funny if I wasn't convinced I was dying. It went for about half an hour until the pain subsided. About halfway through, I hear some kind of muffled noise coming from the bedroom. After I come out of the bathroom, my girlfriend is crying laughing at me.

You think you’re dying and your girlfriend is laughing at you, lol, she’s a keeper.

 

[Meownaw]

One of the faggots here swears by psyllium husk.take some of that and you'll be easily shitting on the beach in no time brotherman

I swear by them they make things all nice. Also don't take laxatives regularly since they will permanently damage shit in there. Not to get all technical *sniff*

 

[guest]

I swear by them they make things all nice. Also don't take laxatives regularly since they will permanently damage shit in there. Not to get all technical *sniff*

I also use psyllium husk, i have irritable bowels and they makes my bowel movement way better and more regular.

 

[guest]

You think you’re dying and your girlfriend is laughing at you, lol, she’s a keeper.

She was legitimately ha-ha-holee-shitting at me. I should clarify, this was like 3 years ago. We've since split. Stupit bitch stole some really nice sweaters from me, too.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

One of the faggots here swears by psyllium husk.take some of that and you'll be easily shitting on the beach in no time brotherman

Wasn't it literal faggot @CarolMaxheinie? I started taking it, too, and it's amazing how well it works, though it's hard to choke down sometimes even if mixed in smoothies.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

A dick in the ass really seems to help relax the muscles, it all just shoots out like a chocolate fountain after that.

I had to open the bedroom window in February because I'd just finished pounding a girl's shitbox. Not messy, but my dick took all the stink back out with it.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I once took a shit so big I suffered an anal fissure, at the hospital I was asked If I was gay. Apparently that's a common injury in "the community".

Sorry for the back-to-back-to-back posts, but I love talking about ass and shit.

Not gay, probably constipation-related anal fissure here. I used to come to tears taking a shit when I had a fissure. It felt like shitting chunks of shattered windshield.

 

[guest]

not a constipation story but when i was staying with my boyfriend's family in spain i was too dumb to figure out how to flush the toilet. so i would shit into plastic bags and throw them out of the window into an alley.

You're a fucking treasure.

 

[Opie Army]

Nice show reference,
I’m too fucked up to remember who it was.
That did that. Maybe vos or kelly?
But nice show reference.

I remember Patrice saying he had to dig rock hard pebble turds out of his ass after eating mostly cheesesteaks & pizza for days on end, but I'm sure fat Blobby has had to do it too, it's just something that happens when you eat like shit, as all fatsos are wont to do.