would you buy a retard as a pet if you could?

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

What's the benefit? Would you want to pet a retard and let them slobber on your cheek? If you take them for walks you also have to clean up their big meaty retard shits too. We have leash laws and no fouling laws for good reason.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

A retarded employee came up to my table at Shake Shack yesterday.
"Good?" he mumbled.
"Very good, thank you."
"..."
Then he stared at our food for about five to ten seconds longer than necessary.

Retards seem like more trouble than they're worth.

 

[guest]

@NigSam I think this one is seriously malfunctioning. I know you're busy, can you send one of you other alts to help?

this cracked a rib or three

@NiggerSucker has to be Dan's alt, right?

 

[guest]

No, I find retarded people unsettling.

 

[guest]

A retarded employee came up to my table at Shake Shack yesterday.
"Good?" he mumbled.
"Very good, thank you."
"..."
Then he stared at our food for about five to ten seconds longer than necessary.

Retards seem like more trouble than they're worth.

Ain't there some law against retards serving food to the public?

 

[Say “Cookie”]

I could only deal with a retard that had mild downs or something as a house pet, for living outside I could take a full tard. Retards of any type would be good muscle to have around if need be, like if you were to start an all retard brothel. That retard strength would be key to the operation and they could also make a good patsy.

I would prefer to just own midgets as pets. They are tiny and can’t reach shit, which would shatter my ribs on a daily basis.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Ain't there some law against retards serving food to the public?

Think he was one of those table-wiping, tray-replacing, window-licking ones.

 

[guest]

Think he was one of those table-wiping, tray-replacing, window-licking ones.

[MEDIA=youtube]tUJHq1Jmr34[/MEDIA]

 

[DiarrheaDick]

Why would you want to? They do everything half-assed, and the higher functioning ones won't stop talking and like to act like they're smarter than you. Useful retards like Slingblade (mmhmm) don't exist in real life.

Off topic, but the whole thing that made me laugh so hard about Nikki listing her CD collection as an asset during her bankruptcy was because when my wife used to work with 'tards, one of them was divorced from his retarded ex-wife because she was apparently spending all of their money (our money actually) on CD's from those penny magazines that always rip you off.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

hahahaahahhahaha just the idea of a retard running away and raping people is fucking funny HAHAHAHAHA

great blend of absurd esoterism, alt

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

I'm real

sure, bud

that's a Pat the simp reference, Dan

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

@NigSam I think this one is seriously malfunctioning. I know you're busy, can you send one of you other alts to help?

this cracked a rib or three

this alt is doing good work here. A palate cleanser after the shit geyser's gush onto Dan. a reminder, perhaps that we got lost, and aren't even dunking on a certain fat faggot with bitch tits's twitter. At all.

 

[CuntFucker]

why, are you for sale?

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

@NigSam I think you need to rework this alt. Not doing it for me anymore like the Wyyz one.

nigger jim is a longer-game gimmick, brothaman

 

[CuntFucker .]

why, are you for sale?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean this.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Ah, dang. Never saw it.

 

[RedHeadpw2]

I would reward her with a new bathing suit and t-shirt every week before courting her.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I would reward her with a new bathing suit and t-shirt every week before courting her.

I'd give her a bag of marbles and a Slinky.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Buy? Absolutely not. That's like asking me if I'd buy a book with half the pages missing, or a two-legged chair.
Get as a gift, or find unattended? Hell yeah, I always wanted a retard butler. I'd put him in a little suit, and laugh when he makes a mess and acts like a fool. Then I'd beat him and laugh about that.

Sounds like a good sitcom premise. A retard crashes into your car. He has no insurance because insurance companies dont cover retards. The judge orders him to be your butler. Hilarity ensues. Everytime the retard does something stupid it cuts to a close up of his hideous face and he says his catchphrase “Oopsie doodles”. Then the canned laugh track kicks in. Its fuckin gold TBPHWY.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Sounds like a good sitcom premise. A retard crashes into your car. He has no insurance because insurance companies dont cover retards. The judge orders him to be your butler. Hilarity ensues. Everytime the retard does something stupid it cuts to a close up of his hideous face and he says his catchphrase “Oopsie doodles”. Then the canned laugh track kicks in. Its fuckin gold TBPHWY.

Did this retard drive a hairdresser car he named?











































Dan, I tapped out on a convoluted insult of Flavia. Hope you're having fun sucking fat kike Bill Skog's manatee balls while his waterhead fat kids bob listlessly waiting for the rubes to throw them cabbage heads to eat.

See that's a Stu Lightning fat joke, from NPS, a former podcast on a burn victim's network.