shagging a fatty pig fatty on the bathroom floor, didn't even finish. this cunt was ugly with a capital U!
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worst one night stand?
- Thread starter alkiefuck2
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Jewish broad who was about 10 years older than me (I was early 20s.) She almost literally dragged me back to her place after the pub closed and I was in no state. Her apartment smelled weird and was a mess and I got an off vibe from her as soon as we got there, like she was crazy or a fucking witch or something. Took me a while to get wood, partly because I'd had like 8 pints and partly because I was sort of convinced that she was going to chop my cock off or something. Lay on my back and let her ride me (she had huge floppy tits) but couldn't finish like that as my dick was hard but had no feeling due to the booze. Put her in missionary and pounded away for a while trying to focus on her tits and not look at her face (she kind of looked like an uglier, fatter Neve Campbell.) She came a couple of times but still nothing for me. Eventually got her to fondle my balls while I wanked over her tits. This went on for what seemed like 10 minutes and she started to get kind of pissed off. Eventually I managed to finish by thinking of a different girl. Went to the bathroom, washed my cock and said "see you" and went to leave. She offered me to stay but fuck that. The place was a pigsty and I still had a feeling like she'd kill me in my sleep. Walked home, got dizzy and puked against a wall on the way.
I fucked a fat broad on st paddy’s day in the back of her dodge minivan. I was fucking her from behind and the smell wafted into my nostrils and I puked out of the sliding door, pulled up my pants and got the fuck out of there. Horrible. The worst part about it was knowing that other people witnessed us leaving together.
On the plus side she was pretty aggressive, immediately jamming her ass back to take some cock. She wasn’t lined up right though and I started poking her asshole. I said “Oh, so you want me to stick in your ass?” And she said “I don’t care”.
TLDR: Clean your shit fat broads, it would be much more enjoyable for the rest of us if you did.
On the plus side she was pretty aggressive, immediately jamming her ass back to take some cock. She wasn’t lined up right though and I started poking her asshole. I said “Oh, so you want me to stick in your ass?” And she said “I don’t care”.
TLDR: Clean your shit fat broads, it would be much more enjoyable for the rest of us if you did.
Any one where you dont finish is pretty shitty. I remember the very next night after I broke up with a serious girlfriend I took this chubby chick home because I hadnt had different pussy in two years, Id take anything. Her cunt was too tight for me to even really do anything and she stopped me because it hurt too much, and she wouldn’t blow me. I walked 20 fuckin blocks to barely have sex, and like the gentleman I am I still walked her 20 blocks back
Holy shit, theres a girl I was banging regularly that I couldnt do doggy with because the fumes would waft up into my nose and smell like a fucking corpse. It was horrid.
Id never learn either. Like hey maybe this time it wont smell...oh nope nope, still smells. But whatever Id just flip her back over and make do. Didnt bother me none, she put out like crazy after all
The fucking smells kill me. I can't do it. A couple years ago I fucked this random chick (wasn't even fat) with the most rank smelling ass and pussy I've ever encountered. I tried until I started loudly gagging and almost puked on her. I just threw my pants on and speed walked out of her apartment like "sorry, gotta go." I had to pull over several times on the way home to throw up out the door because I could smell this corpse and shit smell on my fingers on the steering wheel. It turns my stomach every time I think about it and honestly ruined sex for me for like a year. I could never shower again and I don't think I'd be capable of having that smell come from my body unless I had gangrene or something. I don't know why I was nice about it. I should've puked on her and then scolded her for smelling disgusting.
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Crazy hoe from Tinder took a 2 hour bus to my apartment. I fucked her and she insisted on spending the night. I didn't wanna say no since she lived so far away. I locked all my valuables in another room while she was in the bathroom. We woke up the next morning and I found out she took my phone while I was sleeping and went through my Whatsapp and messaged pretty much all the girls on my phone that she suspected me of seeing and told them she was pregnant with my baby and threatened them and blocked them.
I banged a one night stand after an Orioles game in the back of my tiny car.
3 years, 200lbs, and 125k later and we're happily living in a sham marriage
3 years, 200lbs, and 125k later and we're happily living in a sham marriage
a guy with a literal micropenis and he had to go another round in the morning too
I feel like if I were a woman and ended up in that situation I'd get murdered. I'd definitely laugh at it and be beaten to death.
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potatopeeler63
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It must be nice having a cunt
Random chubby Salvadoran chick. Had a smelly pussy and I couldn't cum. I had to basically jerk off to porn in order to cum on her stupid face.
Was it an Indian that pretended to be White?
what actual size are we talking about? I always see that term thrown around but have no idea what it means
Ugh I’ve had a few….
One where I was around 23 and barged into a bachelorette party at a country bar. Took one of the bridesmaids to her hotel where she attempted to fuck me but after I sobered up I saw she looked like snooki from Jersey shore and I couldn’t get hard (the blow didn’t help). She finally kicked me out after I said something offensive (can’t remember what it was) and that was it.
Another was a girl who was on her rag and gave me the most painful blowjob ever, bitch wanted to circumcise me at age 22. A little teeth is good but this cunt was nuts.
One where I was around 23 and barged into a bachelorette party at a country bar. Took one of the bridesmaids to her hotel where she attempted to fuck me but after I sobered up I saw she looked like snooki from Jersey shore and I couldn’t get hard (the blow didn’t help). She finally kicked me out after I said something offensive (can’t remember what it was) and that was it.
Another was a girl who was on her rag and gave me the most painful blowjob ever, bitch wanted to circumcise me at age 22. A little teeth is good but this cunt was nuts.
it was probably under 9 inches.
it was just a little mushroom head with no shaft at all. and it actually hurt.
wtf. how? 2 inches but coke-can thick?
that's some sitcom shit
no it was just so unnatural how he moved idk
I'm not going to make up stories, all my one-night stands have been well satisfying for both parties