Will this bring back Kevin Smith’s career as a director?

[CumiaPoodle]

I mean she’s juuuuuuust at the fuckable level. Just don’t have a kid with her.

I mean now. But if you’re telling me prime Rosario Dawson is just at the fuckable level I gotta think you prefer the trans

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Dogma was his best movie.
Chasing Amy had its moments but his cuckold shit is dripping all through the writing.
Clerks 1 was good.
Clerks 2 was actually funny.
I never really enjoyed jay and silent bob SB.
The new jay and silent bob was fucking horrific.
the movie with his and depps daughter gay.
Tusk wasn’t good but I laughed at the wrong shit.
Z&M make a porno wasn’t so bad but as an adult it’s a gay rip off of a worse director in that fellow cuck faggot. I forget his name kike something.
Mall rats was cool when I was really young.

kevin smith could’ve been a decent director. He isn’t. His best friend likes heroin more than movies and is probably more talented than him in most ways.

 

[Hamburger Jones]

Back when this hack faggot was still a fat maggot he worried that making Clerks 2 after the complete failure of Jersey Girl would be seen as going "back to the well".
Nice fulfilled prophecy, stupid.

 

[WigwardFromSouthHampton]

Elias got fucken fat

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=imgur]v2DMtHD[/MEDIA]

Sometimes all I can see is Pete Davidson with tits.

 

[SensibleKeks]

 

[Ladynyahh]

Sometimes all I can see is Pete Davidson with tits.

You really motherfucked my mental image of Rosario Dawson you scuuumbag. Now I see Pete Davidson with tits, and without the butthole eyes.

 

[FatPatsBaps]

What kind of music will be played in this film, do you think? Something quirky, off-beat, and nostalgic for the Gen-Xers and older Millenials, I reckon. I'm thinking Prince, or perhaps Cameo. Or some project that involved Chris Cornell. Something to evoke the feels.

 

[Chive Turkey]

Coincidentally, I just rewatched both Clerks movies a few days ago with a buddy who hadn't seen them. They haven't aged well.

One thing that's immediately apparant is that Kevin Smith shamelessly chases trends. The movies are like time capsules of low quality comedy of their respective time periods. Clerks 1 has a very dated early-90s pretentiousness to it and suffers badly from every character sounding like Kevin Smith except for Jay. The deadpan verbose maaan-rants work for Randall but sound incredibly forced and out-of-place for every one else.

Clerks 2 is completely different and has all the shock grossout humor, slapstick and excessive pop culture references of an American Pie or Scary Movie film, with some shoehorned whimsical sentimentality a la Scrubs.

Don't get me wrong, both films still have genuinely funny moments and are way better than 90% of comedy today, but rewatching has definitely cemented my opinion of Smith as a hack who's coasted by mostly on luck and branding.

 

[DMAN]

What kind of music will be played in this film, do you think? Something quirky, off-beat, and nostalgic for the Gen-Xers and older Millenials, I reckon. I'm thinking Prince, or perhaps Cameo. Or some project that involved Chris Cornell. Something to evoke the feels.

Kevin Smith tried to license a Prince song for his 2001 movie, and Prince flat out said no. Didn't offer any further explanation. Just no.

The little cuck Smith then agreed to direct a movie for Prince, for free. It has never been released.

Fat dope will probably get one now that his estate is whoring him out.

 

[IDidThisForYou]

Where we at with the Red State?

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

People say it's a myth but any black stripper I've got lap danced from definitely has a scent that white girls don't. I promise it's not a alluring scent.

Food stamps use a special ink

 

[Ant_It_Fun]

If "Yoga Hosers" couldn't bring back his career, then nothing will.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Coincidentally, I just rewatched both Clerks movies a few days ago with a buddy who hadn't seen them. They haven't aged well.

Clerks 1 is a good indie movie, but not great in and of itself. I think when you're handed limited tools, you have to overcompensate, and that's why it was a great movie for its time. The more Kevin Smith had to work with, the writing became lazier and the gags didn't age well.

His best movie for me was J&SB Strike Back because there was no sincerity to it, and sincerity kills comedy. The movie was aware of how stupid it was, which lent itself to being funny. I can't watch many old Simpsons episodes where Marge or Lisa are the focal point, because the writers used them to express some stupid emotion that isn't conducive to comedy. Clerks 2 was okay but he lost me when there were moments where I was supposed to relate to Randall or Dante -- I don't give a shit, just be funny.

The first Borat movie was great because the sincerest part of it was him crying watching Pam Anderson's sex tape, because he believed he was in love with fucking Pam Anderson. It was nothing but sexism and racism, and it was great.

 

[Mc.Faggot]

No. Dogma was his last great* film. I'll hold to that. Clerks 2 was a... Good film, despite parts I hate (no shock, his wife and the dancing scene) but had a heart to it.

Smith is dead creatively. You just know: Dante's kid will be played by Smith's daughter who can't act. A big cameo-fest that adds nothing to the story. And I'm gonna bet ANOTHER shitty dance scene.

How is this the guy that wrote an amazing Superman script that never got made? How is this the guy that took me by surprise with the first "Clerks"? How is it that this same guy can't learn how TO FUCKING SHOOT A SCENE DYNAMICALLY?

Thank you for letting me be brief

*Great is very subjective here, but it's the only one that hasn't aged that poorly.

I think Jay and Silent Bob Strikes back was pretty good for it’s time. But you are right, its not great

It’s weird how much of it mocks Kevin Smiths current career

Red State was almost great imo, the ending should have been his original vision with the resurrection and it could have been a cult classic

but he was too cowardly to give christ any credit anymore after dogma

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Absolutely not.

 

[FatPatsBaps]

Kevin Smith tried to license a Prince song for his 2001 movie, and Prince flat out said no. Didn't offer any further explanation. Just no.

The little cuck Smith then agreed to direct a movie for Prince, for free. It has never been released.

Fat dope will probably get one now that his estate is whoring him out.

Yeah, I remember hearing or reading about that. I thought it something to do with Prince being a christian, and he didn't like Dogma?


Just thinking about it, I reckon there will be a scene in the new film where either Silent Bob, or Dante will see a beautiful woman walk into the store (probably Kevin Smith's wife or daughter...), and suddenly it's like a romantic scene from an 80s film. The woman looks at the camera in slow-motion with her hair blowing, and 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World' is playing in the background...

Whoever's counterpart will then say something along the lines of, "Dude, l really want to eat her snatch!"

 

[UnPRePared]

I think Jay and Silent Bob Strikes back was pretty good for it’s time. But you are right, its not great

It’s weird how much of it mocks Kevin Smiths current career

Red State was almost great imo, the ending should have been his original vision with the resurrection and it could have been a cult classic

but he was too cowardly to give christ any credit anymore after dogma

His true cowardice has overshadowed his career.

The man wrote a VERY long script treatment (long in that script treatments are short summaries; it's not a long story itself) that adapted The Death and Return of Superman Saga, called Superman Lives. Warner bought it and Tim Burton tossed it before leaving the project - a shame, because that was a fucking beautiful story he wrote. It's hands down the best thing I've ever seen him write; his dialogue is good and kept in check, he gets all the characters, the story beats work and it's a great third act. The only knocks are all the things Producer Jon Peters demanded he added, and that it would've cost too much money at the time. A truly wasted opportunity.

Years later, rapist extraordinare Harvey Weinstein asked him to write a Green Hornet script. I've read this one too - really good script, far better than the Seth Rogen piece of shit that got made. Harvey loves it, begs Kevin to direct it, and Smith chickens out and walks. Could have opened tons of doors for him, could have expanded his capabilities as a director, but as asshole supreme Bruce Willis accused him of on the set of "Cop Out", this motherfucker never learned different lenses and dynamic compositions. His static shots would've made an action movie look like "12 Angry Men", so instead of finally learning, he pussies out again.

Then he does Red State, a movie he's talked up for some time, and pussies out in the stronger ending. Almost unanimously I see people say if he went with his original ending, the movie would be a classic. It was easily his last chance to finally break out, and he screwed it up.

The man prefers to play it safe. And safe gets very boring.