Why the fuck was I told that The Black Phone is a good horror movie?

[Guest]

I enjoyed the movie but the short story is pfg.

 

[aRTie02150]

The ones with no sleeves were supposed to be super tough, badass kids. You can tell because they have no sleeves. That's the same reason Joe Cumia hacks all his sleeves off to this day.

I had a feeling about those two!

 

[lil chud]

I liked it, but then again, I watch all my movies either in a car or on a plane. It had a good amount of suspense, especially this scene. I give it a solid 7/10.

 

[BUBBLER]

Also, why would the fucking idiot even let his brother stay with him when he has a fucking kidnapped child in his unlocked basement?

FUCK

OFF

OUTTA

HERE

Yeah that not how I like to handle this situation either

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Oh so this faggot's brother is staying with him and is never like "Hey, Al, why do you sit shirtless in your kitchen holding a belt in that spooky mask while you stare at the basement door for like 14 hours a day?"

FUCK OFF OUTTA HERE

It's funny how abe's biggest complaint is how inept the child predator is. No wonder he doesn't want door dash going to the wrong side of the house

 

[Chive Turkey]

The ones with no sleeves were supposed to be super tough, badass kids. You can tell because they have no sleeves. That's the same reason Joe Cumia hacks all his sleeves off to this day.

Is the film set during the 80s or were the producers just that unimaginative and cliched?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Is the film set during the 80s or were the producers just that unimaginative and cliched?

70s. They really throw it in your face with the wardrobe, soundtrack and Bruce Lee movie references.

 

[Dog Eater]

List of actually good really clever and really scary horror movies with original premises and good acting:

Spoiler

.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Looks like some lame high school metal band

 

[Dusty Dan]

X was shit too.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

X was shit too.

I thought all of those ones sucked shit. I kind of hate Mia Goth. Eyebrowless cunt.

 

[Dusty Dan]

I thought all of those ones sucked shit. I kind of hate Mia Goth. Eyebrowless cunt.

Not watched the sequels yet and not sure I will bother

 

[Andy Elliott]

Don't watch Longlegs it's fuckin horrible horrible horrible. I hate jews

 

[CuntFucker .]

Most horror is conceived by sheltered faggots whose notions of evil and suffering are informed by dogshit movies. They usually are also too lazy to do a little research for a credible representation of violence. The dialogue tends to be incredibly tedious and the characters hollow, because those fucking people don't know what human beings are like. I don't understand why people enjoy these movies. They are too bad and plain stupid to be scary. I strongly believe there's less than 10 horror movies in American cinema which are actual first-rate movies, like Rosemary's Baby (1968) or The Shining (1980).

 

[chiquita banana]

I just read ahead on Wikipedia. This scrawny little bitch of a kid ends up killing the guy by snapping his neck with a phone cord. I'm pretty sure I couldn't snap someone's neck with a phone cord. FUCK OFF OUTTA HERE.

 

[Andy Elliott]

Most horror is conceived by sheltered faggots whose notions of evil and suffering are informed by dogshit movies. They usually are also too lazy to do a little research for a credible representation of violence. The dialogue tends to be incredibly tedious and the characters hollow, because those fucking people don't know what human beings are like. I don't understand why people enjoy these movies. They are too bad and plain stupid to be scary. I strongly believe there's less than 10 horror movies in American cinema which are actual first-rate movies, like Rosemary's Baby (1968) or The Shining (1980).

Horror has always been schlock and now they want to make it seem like a thinking man's movie. Incredibly pretentious and dull writing that is matched with terrible non white actors.

 

[CuntFucker .]

Horror has always been schlock and now they want to make it seem like a thinking man's movie. Incredibly pretentious and dull writing that is matched with terrible non white actors.

It's digital dogshit through artsy filters. Despite the usually somewhat fancy camera work, it still looks cheap.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Fuckin wide nosed nigger music. Hang em all, amirite?