Who wins the fight - Pat or Dan? (POLL)

[Harry Powell]

NO weapons, NO wives, THEIR show!!!


An interesting proposition. Dan has Down Syndrome retard strength and Patrick has autistic rage.

While I would like to think Dan could “Peanut Butter Falcon” Patrick, I think Patso takes this one.

How does it play out in your eyes, brothermen?

 

[guest]

Either way it's a sumo match.

 

[Mike Glyer]

I voted for Patrick.

I guess there's only one way to prove me wrong, Danny Boy...

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Patrick, hands downs. Dan is clearly a manlet. At least Rick is close to 6ft tall.

 

[DanFielding]

Regardless of the outcome, we are the true winners.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Danny Eyebrows probably, he's some kind of Boston Irish retard, probably been in a few scraps in his day. Pat is a big soft Wisconsin mama's boy, not even a farmboy

 

[Jenna]

I mean they both claim to be proficient martial artists on the internet.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Dan is a potato nigger so most likely his genetics are predisposed to take physical abuse from his loved ones making Pillow Fists Pat a walk in the park. Pat would also likely gas out within 20 seconds based on his snow clearing video but if he managed to flop his massive lard body on top of Dan he could probably keep him there until the pigs pulled them apart. Flavia's Easter Island chin could be Dan's secret weapon if foreign objects are allowed. It's an intriguing matchup, King!

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

Dan looks even less athletic than Fatty somehow. I just can’t see a guy like Dan win any sort of physical contest, even against Fat. He just looks like a blob of pink jello and he seems short.

 

[SFWA liaison]

Flavia will have to clean up Dan off of the sidewalk. She'll do a before & after to post on Facebook.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

Dan will just start a impromptu podcast on the spot and bore Pat to death.

 

[guest]

I’d like to vote pat for da bit but I can’t even delude myself into that. We’ve seen the “marathon” pics. He looks like the most uncoordinated, unathletic specimen I’ve ever seen. I honestly think he’s never thrown a punch in his life in an actual reality based fight that isn’t one of his fairy tale stories he made up. In other words, even Downsy Dan can beat the half a fag with the worst genetic makeup of any creature currently walking the Earth. And Pat would undoubtedly be drunk so -5 more points from his coordination and athleticism, with that he’s in the negatives and probably can’t get off the couch. Game, set, match to our downsy friend outside of Boston.

 

[Treat Yourself]

Dan wins by default because Patso is a total coward and would either not show up or run away to talk big on his twitter from his fart couch.

 

[Imager]

I'd pay for the PPV.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

It’s a tough one man, my math says Pat is narrowly favored -0.5.

The 1:30AM temper tantrum audio makes me think he could channel his pre-pubescent anger and frustration and accidentally flail his arms into Dans chin(s), rendering him unconscious.

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Patrick's womanly windmill slapping will make Dan's burn victim skin grafts slough right off.

Edit: Tomlinsoned graphs

 

[1073waaf]

Actual tough guy Pat wins all day.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

View attachment 65315

Actual tough guy Pat wins all day.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Pat has the height and reach (and weight!) advantage plus natural impact-absorbing layers, Dan has the cagey inscrutability and animal cunning of a Mongoloid. Both have a high tolerance to pain: one via alcohol-deadened nerves and the other via an extra chromosome. This being a non-sanctioned match, unorthodox strategy could be the deciding factor: Dan severs Pat's Achillies with a bite, or maybe Pat screams "HELP I'M BEING RAPED BY NAZIS" loud enough that the cops show up.
All in all, a fairly even match. Too close to call for me. In any event, Pat claims victory over the atalkers on twitter.
The real matchup here is the wives. Nikkki "The Fridge" Robinson vs Flavia "Ty-D-Bol" Mullen in a no-holds-or-holes-barred cage match.

 

[Harry Powell]

Patrick's womanly windmill slapping will make Dan's burn victim skin graphs slough right off.

Nice grafts, stupid