Which one of you guys ordered pizzas to my house

Brooke Shields

Patrick Tomlinson hates me because I am a woman
He wants his pizza from one of those local joints that puts “crazy toppings” on their probably cardboard level pie to look hip. Pat really is a rube. Domino’s is probably better than that place and Dominos is at best a good chain pizza, but a mid pizza overall. It’s edible, it’s not offensive, and it tastes like pizza. This Ian’s Pizza is probably Midwest rube dreck.
6.1 says the pizza jew

 

Uncle J’s Sink Emporium

Enjoy prison, Y’munkoke
Why would the pizzas even upset someone? If that happened to me I would either not answer the door or just tell them through the Nest cam that I didn’t order anything. That’s it.

It’s more of a prank against the pizza place, which is lame and unfunny.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
I’ve always thought a great bit would be to keep sending him the most calorie dense and fattening foods ever and see how fast he could break 300lbs.
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BigBeanFatty

The Official Hungry Bean.
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Some truely vile combinations. Where's Gordon Ramsay when you need him.

Mozzarella/pesto/feta? Butter/asiago/mozzarella/ranch?? Ranch/BBQ/bacon/cheddar/mozzarella???

It's one thing if you are a early 20s stoner or Sam Roberts, but a middle age man finding this appealing is unacceptable.

Fuck off, you midwest rube. I hate the senseless use of French in culinary contexts. "Cream" and "blue" aren't good enough for your shitass flyover eatery?
 

BigBeanFatty

The Official Hungry Bean.
He rated a place near Dan a 9 or 10 and he wasn't wrong, I been there before! Honest!
I really don't like Portnoy or Barstool, but my tastes typically align with his when it comes to American pizza styles (though I disagree with his dislike of Neapolitan and what he calls "artisan" pizza). Given that, I tried a place out near Detroit he gave a high 8 to when I was briefly living in SE MI for work. It was legitimately fantastic. Went back a few times and the guy hit it out of the park each time which is itself a big thing because consistency is often an issue at mom and pops.
 
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