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What kind of dumb shit did you believe as a kid?
I'll hang up and listen.
I'll hang up and listen.
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When I was a kid I thought a perm was a permanent haircut that let you not have to go the barber forever.
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I knew girls didnt have a penis so I just assumed it was flat there and that their peeing was rerouted through their butt
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I thought movies were shot the way they look. I mean, I didn't know there were "extras" or "sets" or "lighting" I just thought if they were filming in a cafe then that was a real cafe with real people. Also I thought you didn't need much of a script because the actors would just do interesting stuff. And everything in movies was really happening. So if James Bond knocks a shark out then I'd tell my friends that sharks aint shit because you can just punch them. I've seen it done.
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I thought that sex was this agonizingly painful thing you had to do to create a child. When I’d see familys with a lot of kids, Id look at the dad like damn that guys hardcore
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I thought the same thing about perms. I also thought the Chairman of the Bank in Mary Poppins was the "German of the Bank"
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For awhile I thought To Kill a Mockingbird was called Tequila Mockingbird instead.
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I was the same way. I remember specifically, the beginning of the movie No Holds Barred, I was like "Holy fuck. Wrestlers can bust right through brick walls!"
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My mom had a perm when I was a little kid. Like a perfectly spherical afro. We're very white.
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I thought "Irish coffee" meant a glass of straight whisky first thing in the morning until I was well into my teens.
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That actually makes a lot of sense. A bit like "abo briefcase".
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An Irish coffee is supposed to be a reward for not playing original music.
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I thought the opposite and that whatever they had was really round almost like they had a hairy ball attached to their crotches. I have no idea why I thought this.
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Thought "To be announced" in the TV guide a was a show, whenever tried to see what show was about cartoons or other kids shows would be on
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We had Terry Clifford's son and now we've got Marion's. All the stars are here!
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Women's peehole and vagina were one and the same. Also thought it was just like a circle cutout between their legs.
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I always thought that instructions like "mix to taste" were odd because you can totally taste the stuff before you put milk in.
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I thought you could remove a woman's tit and drink milk from it like a an actual cup.
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No, but what dumb things did you believe you were wrong about?
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I was really little, early kinder garden. The first place I had ever seen a black person was on Star Trek TNG, Warf, and he used to give me nightmares. I remember a specific scene my Dad had taped with Warf fighting or arguing with his brother or something in some smogged out corridor and for whatever reason it scared the shit out of me. What really got me though, were their foreheads. They had the same texture as a really big shit. I used to think that when I was taking a shit, if I didnt wipe and flush fast enough, that Warf was going to somehow pull me into the toilet and kill me.