What would you do if a swat team showed up at your door?

[Patrick O'Neal]

I'd be like "Don't worry guys, I'll just use a rolled-up newspaper!"

 

[PogromStallone]

I'm pretty sure I could take them.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

I can't give a real answer after that hilarity but I did get swatted last year...

I watched the video of it happening to me recently & I still notice a few different details; my accent changed at 3 times in 10seconds, I repeated 'whats going on' a silly amount of times only changing (along with accent) to 'I don't like the ground' - after a copper said 'take him to the ground'.
Unlike Rick I was joking with the cops after a minute & they cuffed me to the front for comfort & basically told me who swatted me.

They did have a warrant & I've got loadsa stuff that at least looks dodgy but it was malicious - so basically a swatting, & they said I have weapons

 

[Sputnik]

I'd go on a tri county media tour and pose for terrible pictures with my frumpy wife. Then I'll be out of debt, child.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Probably not too different than anybody else

I sleep naked so I’d grab a robe real quick, run to the door, immediately panic and start showering then with profanities at the top of my lungs. Probably go on a histrionic tirade about stuff - cyberstalkers trying to kill me, how they’re traumatizing my wife, how they should know my personal situation because it’s in their notes. Maybe tell them they should never respond to a call at this house unless I’m the one calling them.

Then I’d probably jump on Twitter and post about it for hours.

Pretty straightforward

 

[Cygnus Nana X-1]

I'd proudly flash my corkscrew cock through my open housecoat then deny it's my corkscrew cock when people point it out.

 

[DanFielding]

I'd scream at them for a few minutes before taking a limp wristed swing at them. All the while my retard wife would be filming it in the hope that we can find an excuse to sue the cops.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I'd ask them how they got past security and then let them know the nigger family lives further down.

 

[Brooke Shields]

& they said I have weapons

Do you live in a country where certain cooking utensils are considered weapons?

 

[UnPRePared]

I'd shout "I'm being repressed, I'm being repressed, #USAINDISTRESS!"

 

[DrTorqueCarlisi]

I'd tell 'em if they touch me they're in for a billion dollar lawsuit! Nothing freezes cops in their tracks faster.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'd scream at them for a few minutes before taking a limp wristed swing at them. All the while my retard wife would be filming it in the hope that we can find an excuse to sue the cops.

I've had the shit kicked out of me by cops (the OPP used to be really good for that) and got tased for coming out with my hands up but I had my shirt in my one hand so they thought I was hiding something and panicked. I kept saying "it's my fucking shirt" and then I just threw it at them like "look, idiots, it's a shirt" and they immediately tased me. A lot. I was also really jacked and scary at that time so they really beat the fuck out of me, stomping on my head while another bunch were pinning me down and George Floyding my neck (which makes you instinctively fight) if I just met them by throwing a punch they probably would've shot me. They weren't responding to me hurting anyone either.

Point is, if anyone gets away with swinging at a cop, it's a kid or a retard. If someone who knows better does it, they'll fuck you up. They literally think Patrick is mentally challenged.

 

[quasi101]

Do you live in a country where certain cooking utensils are considered weapons?

All of them are weapons in the hands of my mother in law doing the cooking... right gang

 

[guest]

I'd tell my wife to take out her camera and start recording, then I would start screaming at them and provoking them to assault me. I would then inform them that I was suing them, and afterwards I would go on a media tour in the hopes that I could garner the sympathy of the general public, and possibly catch the ear of a wealthy individual willing to pay off $41,849.87 of my court-ordered debt.

 

[Turry Fawks]

I had six cops show up guns pointed one night. Somebody called them because they heard my laptop batteries exploding behind the house and thought they were gunshots. So they came to the back door and the cop in the lead pointed her gun right at my head.

I just put my hands up and explained the situation, let them in to see the scorching and melting on the laptop chassis and sent them packing. It was an eventful night.

Uhhh #ACAB I guess? They were pretty chill, really.

 

[RobertMewler]

I'd scream, "This ain't your show!" then watch them slink off.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

SWAT teams know not to fuck with the 6'1 guy in a motorcycle jacket

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I’d make some stupid ass paper sign with a sharpie and put it on my door

 

[guest]

Pigs better watch for trip wires if they come to my house. Fucking ZOG pieces of shit.

 

[Stent]

I'd yell "He's got a weapon! Fire! Fire!"