Weird things you did as a kid.

[Punished Dan Mullen]

I've mentioned many before so I'll try to think of a new one:

We'd go to the public toilet & fill a plastic bag with wet tissue, then we'd walk to the nearby bus terminus & splatter the driver with handfuls of wet tissue, sometimes they'd try to shut the door but we'd just press the 'emergency open' button on the outside.
We'd also hold the 'engine stop' on the back of the bus, the driver would come out & we'd run round the front, then we'd run round the back & hold the button again, he'd be stuck there til we got bored.
There were some reeds planted near the bus stop, so we'd dip them in the bus diesel tank & run around with organic tiki torches

holy shit those poor bus drivers

 

[SensibleKeks]

I was a serial house-egger. My friend and I would buy like 3 cartons each and we’d pick one house and just bombard the shit out of it. Sometimes people would come out and we’d get them too. We were both fast also so we never got caught.

One time we started hammering this chick’s big upstairs bay window. Her dad appears in the window and we kept hucking and laughing. He comes out front yelling and we turned him into an omelette. He tried to run after us but was fat and middle aged so we just stayed ahead of him and continued pelting him until he ran out of juice.

Another time we were driving and we saw these chicks walking. I’m in the passenger seat, they are walking towards the car but on the driver’s side. My buddy turns the car towards them briefly and right at that moment I Hakeem Olajuwon’d a hookshot over the roof and it arced up and landed right on one chick’s head. I don’t have a good throw at all and it was the best one I’ve ever had in my life.

We were rolling through a mall parking lot and saw a kid pushing his buddy in a shopping cart. Me and a buddy in the backseat each lean out the window to our waists, eggs at the ready. Kid pushing just bolts into the shadows and the kid in the cart is a sitting duck. We crushed him unmercifully.

Later that night we were still egging and we were smashing this dude and his girlfriend at a red light next to us. He starts following us in his car, all coated in egg, so my buddy stops and lets two of us out. We sprinted full tilt at the car and the guy just backs up and peels right out of there. No idea what his plan was if he bailed that easily.

Another time we kept drive-by paintballing this skinny black kid who thought he was tough. He’d see us coming again and hold his shirt up exposing his belly and yell shit like you’d hear in Antoine Fisher. We’d zing him with the paintball gun and he’d turtle up and cover his eyes. This went on for like 5-6 drive bys. He eventually just ran into a neighbourhood park.

Ahh youth. During Junior High me and my friends started this group called the Nighttime Bombers Squad. It was all about pulling late night shenanigans during the summer. We'd ranked ourselves by what pranks each of us pulled. Point was to always try and top each other.

We started off by throwing water balloons at people's houses at night. But we realized how stupid and lame that was. Instead, it was decided to fill the water balloons with paint. One day we got word that a group of high school/college kids were having a late-night pool party a few neighborhoods over. Carrying as many paint-filled water balloons as our lil' arms could carry, we hurled as many water balloons over the fence at the partygoers as we could. Oh boy, were they mad. Almost immediately the guys hopped in their cars trying to chase us down. Kinda stupid on their part, because this was the suburbs, and we just crossed across other neighbor's yards. A few tried chasing us on foot but these suburbs were never ending. After we split up, I jumped over a few fences and hid under someone's backyard porch for the night. Apparently, these guys spent 2-3 hours driving around trying to find us.

Other pranks were letting the air out of car tires, incessant ringing of doorbells at 3 am, and my personal favorite spraying the inside of unlocked cars with a fire extinguisher. One kid who was in middle school was a complete psychopath. He'd hide in a tree near a busy road and throw rocks at passing cars. We had to eventually quit since some Debbie Downer called the police. All good things must come to an end I suppose.

 

[guest]

Would stare in the mirror alot, combing hair etc...once I was so enthralled with myself, I didn't notice my mom coming from behind. She gave me a smack with a rolled-up newspaper and said her version of "you can act like a man".

This was an issue up to the age of 11 or so...By 13 I still was spending a lot of time in the bathroom in front of the mirror, but this time to watch myself jerkoff to completion (into the sink).

 

[Imager]

Instead, it was decided to fill the water balloons with paint.

Did you throw them at Russian tanks?

 

[SensibleKeks]

Did you throw them at Russian tanks?

Parallel thinking.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

Ahh youth. During Junior High me and my friends started this group called the Nighttime Bombers Squad. It was all about pulling late night shenanigans during the summer. We'd ranked ourselves by what pranks each of us pulled. Point was to always try and top each other.

We started off by throwing water balloons at people's houses at night. But we realized how stupid and lame that was. Instead, it was decided to fill the water balloons with paint. One day we got word that a group of high school/college kids were having a late-night pool party a few neighborhoods over. Carrying as many paint-filled water balloons as our lil' arms could carry, we hurled as many water balloons over the fence at the partygoers as we could. Oh boy, were they mad. Almost immediately the guys hopped in their cars trying to chase us down. Kinda stupid on their part, because this was the suburbs, and we just crossed across other neighbor's yards. A few tried chasing us on foot but these suburbs were never ending. After we split up, I jumped over a few fences and hid under someone's backyard porch for the night. Apparently, these guys spent 2-3 hours driving around trying to find us.

Other pranks were letting the air out of car tires, incessant ringing of doorbells at 3 am, and my personal favorite spraying the inside of unlocked cars with a fire extinguisher. One kid who was in middle school was a complete psychopath. He'd hide in a tree near a busy road and throw rocks at passing cars. We had to eventually quit since some Debbie Downer called the police. All good things must come to an end I suppose.

Lmao. Yeah my friend and I took it too far like the rock thrower as well.

We would lay in this thick grass outside of a wooded area at night and paintball cars as they drove by this side street. People would often stop and come into the woods looking for us (pre-cell phone flash lights) and we would just hammer them from different angles with paintballs until they ran away.

We would also go to bush bashes and paintball the kids partying. We’d lay in the bushes like maniacs and pepper them and they’d always just scatter off into the night.

A friend lived near this bridge and we’d lurk under it like trolls and egg cars then scatter. One time these guys who didn’t normally do it with us joined in. We were doing it in broad daylight. One kid was tall and he just waltzes right up to the side of the road, noticeable as hell, and starts lighting cars up like Randy Johnson. Car stops and starts chasing us and the only one of us who got caught was some kid who didn’t throw anything and he got punched out by an adult. Was hilarious.

Another time these girls we know got egged by these Arab and Russian kids at our school. So me and some buddies found the Russian and held him over this very same bridge and made him tell us where his buddies were so we could go kick their asses, which we did.

 

[LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket]

Would stare in the mirror alot, combing hair etc...once I was so enthralled with myself, I didn't notice my mom coming from behind. She gave me a smack with a rolled-up newspaper and said her version of "you can act like a man".

This was an issue up to the age of 11 or so...By 13 I still was spending a lot of time in the bathroom in front of the mirror, but this time to watch myself jerkoff to completion (into the sink).

Do you still check yourself out on occasion? You’re quite the catch. Maybe we can share a Twix bar at 4am? Maybe I can kiss you?

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Lmao. Yeah my friend and I took it too far like the rock thrower as well.

We would lay in this thick grass outside of a wooded area at night and paintball cars as they drove by this side street. People would often stop and come into the woods looking for us (pre-cell phone flash lights) and we would just hammer them from different angles with paintballs until they ran away.

We would also go to bush bashes and paintball the kids partying. We’d lay in the bushes like maniacs and pepper them and they’d always just scatter off into the night.

A friend lived near this bridge and we’d lurk under it like trolls and egg cars then scatter. One time these guys who didn’t normally do it with us joined in. We were doing it in broad daylight. One kid was tall and he just waltzes right up to the side of the road, noticeable as hell, and starts lighting cars up like Randy Johnson. Car stops and starts chasing us and the only one of us who got caught was some kid who didn’t throw anything and he got punched out by an adult. Was hilarious.

Another time these girls we know got egged by these Arab and Russian kids at our school. So me and some buddies found the Russian and held him over this very same bridge and made him tell us where his buddies were so we could go kick their asses, which we did.

we used to stand on an overpass where traffic would queue underneath, we sometimes had eggs & usually waited for an open sunroof. When we saw an open-top car coming we'd act cool then piss on the guy's head as he was stuck underneath. Good times!

 

[guest]

I was a serial house-egger. My friend and I would buy like 3 cartons each and we’d pick one house and just bombard the shit out of it. Sometimes people would come out and we’d get them too. We were both fast also so we never got caught.

One time we started hammering this chick’s big upstairs bay window. Her dad appears in the window and we kept hucking and laughing. He comes out front yelling and we turned him into an omelette. He tried to run after us but was fat and middle aged so we just stayed ahead of him and continued pelting him until he ran out of juice.

Another time we were driving and we saw these chicks walking. I’m in the passenger seat, they are walking towards the car but on the driver’s side. My buddy turns the car towards them briefly and right at that moment I Hakeem Olajuwon’d a hookshot over the roof and it arced up and landed right on one chick’s head. I don’t have a good throw at all and it was the best one I’ve ever had in my life.

We were rolling through a mall parking lot and saw a kid pushing his buddy in a shopping cart. Me and a buddy in the backseat each lean out the window to our waists, eggs at the ready. Kid pushing just bolts into the shadows and the kid in the cart is a sitting duck. We crushed him unmercifully.

Later that night we were still egging and we were smashing this dude and his girlfriend at a red light next to us. He starts following us in his car, all coated in egg, so my buddy stops and lets two of us out. We sprinted full tilt at the car and the guy just backs up and peels right out of there. No idea what his plan was if he bailed that easily.

Another time we kept drive-by paintballing this skinny black kid who thought he was tough. He’d see us coming again and hold his shirt up exposing his belly and yell shit like you’d hear in Antoine Fisher. We’d zing him with the paintball gun and he’d turtle up and cover his eyes. This went on for like 5-6 drive bys. He eventually just ran into a neighbourhood park.

You sir are a horribly delightful maniac.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Me and one of my buddies got together to go bowling over break and our friend who we usually hung with didn't get back to us. We figured it was because of his girlfriend bat the time who was a hateful bitch. So afterwards when we'd had a few we went over there to see if she was there and nobody was home. So I decided to stomp the outline of a ~30-40 ft penis in the snow on his lawn. Then my friend stomped the word PENIS into the snow on the other side of the driveway (in case there was any confusion at what they were seeing). I later found out there'd been a death in the family and they were out of town for the funeral. We denied it for a while (they thought it was neighborhood kids) but when we finally told him he thought it was pretty funny. More just silliness compared to the mischief in this thread but I loffed

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

Me and one of my buddies got together to go bowling over break and our friend who we usually hung with didn't get back to us. We figured it was because of his girlfriend bat the time who was a hateful bitch. So afterwards when we'd had a few we went over there to see if she was there and nobody was home. So I decided to stomp the outline of a ~30-40 ft penis in the snow on his lawn. Then my friend stomped the word PENIS into the snow on the other side of the driveway (in case there was any confusion at what they were seeing). I later found out there'd been a death in the family and they were out of town for the funeral. We denied it for a while (they thought it was neighborhood kids) but when we finally told him he thought it was pretty funny. More just silliness compared to the mischief in this thread but I loffed

Next time try swastika and nigger he he

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Next time try swastika and nigger he he

This was way before I discovered r/opieandanthony

 

[RoTheHo69]

I was a serial house-egger. My friend and I would buy like 3 cartons each and we’d pick one house and just bombard the shit out of it. Sometimes people would come out and we’d get them too. We were both fast also so we never got caught.

One time we started hammering this chick’s big upstairs bay window. Her dad appears in the window and we kept hucking and laughing. He comes out front yelling and we turned him into an omelette. He tried to run after us but was fat and middle aged so we just stayed ahead of him and continued pelting him until he ran out of juice.

Another time we were driving and we saw these chicks walking. I’m in the passenger seat, they are walking towards the car but on the driver’s side. My buddy turns the car towards them briefly and right at that moment I Hakeem Olajuwon’d a hookshot over the roof and it arced up and landed right on one chick’s head. I don’t have a good throw at all and it was the best one I’ve ever had in my life.

We were rolling through a mall parking lot and saw a kid pushing his buddy in a shopping cart. Me and a buddy in the backseat each lean out the window to our waists, eggs at the ready. Kid pushing just bolts into the shadows and the kid in the cart is a sitting duck. We crushed him unmercifully.

Later that night we were still egging and we were smashing this dude and his girlfriend at a red light next to us. He starts following us in his car, all coated in egg, so my buddy stops and lets two of us out. We sprinted full tilt at the car and the guy just backs up and peels right out of there. No idea what his plan was if he bailed that easily.

Another time we kept drive-by paintballing this skinny black kid who thought he was tough. He’d see us coming again and hold his shirt up exposing his belly and yell shit like you’d hear in Antoine Fisher. We’d zing him with the paintball gun and he’d turtle up and cover his eyes. This went on for like 5-6 drive bys. He eventually just ran into a neighbourhood park.

Me too!

All my best throws were with eggs. I dropped one right on this broad's head from a roof like a ww2 bombardier.
My best throw ever was a curve ball that hit a taxi cab while he was driving. He got out up the street and was trying to find us. Was always proud of that curve.

I wasn't gonna say shit but your story made me loff.

 

[guest]

When I was young, I mean 7 or 8, I used to hump the upstairs bannister in my house. Properly get one leg over, hold on and grind until I dry came. Another weird thing I'd do around the same age was eat snacks and read Asterix or Tintin books in the shitter. Not sitting on it ready to take a dump but trousers on, seat down sitting. To this day I have no idea why. The privacy I guess.

 

[Mc.Faggot]

i used to catch bees by the wings and give them to kids as gifts

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

We routinely got bored in our mid teens because I grew up in bumfuck nowhere and we were nerds who couldn't score chicks, so we used to do the thing where two of us would stand on either side of a country road and wait around for a car pretend to pull a wire/rope taught while they approached. We did it in a very obvious way early on so they could break.

One guy got out and blew his top so hard, read us the riot act. We just told him we were playing.
Oh the laffs that were had once he angrily got back in his car. Good shit. Nostalgia rules.

 

[guest]

we used to stand on an overpass where traffic would queue underneath, we sometimes had eggs & usually waited for an open sunroof. When we saw an open-top car coming we'd act cool then piss on the guy's head as he was stuck underneath. Good times!

That all sounds very tame now that kids are tossing cinder blocks at cars going 80mph and killing them

 

[aRTie02150]

That all sounds very tame now that kids are tossing cinder blocks at cars going 80mph and killing them

Lol I threw a crabapple at a car and the nigga banged a U turn and chased my ass. Hopped a curb and all. I had to run into the trees in order to not get hit.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

During snow days in grade school my brother and I would to go to my friend’s house to stand by the road with a sign that said “honk if you like this hit.” When cars drive by we’d take turns tackling each other as hard as possible. Fewer people honked than you’d think.