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Weird things you did as a kid.

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I used to jerk every night before I went to sleep and just toss the tissues behind my bed and forget about them. Thought I'd just toss them out some day in the near future. One day I'm in my room and my mom comes in vacuuming and moves the bed from the wall and a mountain of cum tissue balls appears. Like a hundred of them. Mom looks at me and I look at her and it got awwwwwwkwaawrrddddd. I was 13.
 
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My parents were always partying so I'd wait until everyone was too drunk to shoo me away and then go lay up in the top corner of sectional sofa we had and listen to adults talk. I was probably as high as they were by the end of the night. This would have started when I was four or so.
 
Lamont & Tonelli

Lamont & Tonelli

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I used to hold in my shits until I had severe abdominal pains. Sucked off my buddies under the front porch a few times. Sometimes we'd go out to Devil's Creek and I'd forget what happened after that. I showered with my father and older brother, couldn't take my eyes of Daddy's piece. I tried on mommy's shoes. Once I blew an older boy for a steak.
Oh, you said weird stuff? Nah, I was a totally normal kid.
 
JesseTheGovernor

JesseTheGovernor

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I was a serial house-egger. My friend and I would buy like 3 cartons each and we’d pick one house and just bombard the shit out of it. Sometimes people would come out and we’d get them too. We were both fast also so we never got caught.

One time we started hammering this chick’s big upstairs bay window. Her dad appears in the window and we kept hucking and laughing. He comes out front yelling and we turned him into an omelette. He tried to run after us but was fat and middle aged so we just stayed ahead of him and continued pelting him until he ran out of juice.

Another time we were driving and we saw these chicks walking. I’m in the passenger seat, they are walking towards the car but on the driver’s side. My buddy turns the car towards them briefly and right at that moment I Hakeem Olajuwon’d a hookshot over the roof and it arced up and landed right on one chick’s head. I don’t have a good throw at all and it was the best one I’ve ever had in my life.

We were rolling through a mall parking lot and saw a kid pushing his buddy in a shopping cart. Me and a buddy in the backseat each lean out the window to our waists, eggs at the ready. Kid pushing just bolts into the shadows and the kid in the cart is a sitting duck. We crushed him unmercifully.

Later that night we were still egging and we were smashing this dude and his girlfriend at a red light next to us. He starts following us in his car, all coated in egg, so my buddy stops and lets two of us out. We sprinted full tilt at the car and the guy just backs up and peels right out of there. No idea what his plan was if he bailed that easily.

Another time we kept drive-by paintballing this skinny black kid who thought he was tough. He’d see us coming again and hold his shirt up exposing his belly and yell shit like you’d hear in Antoine Fisher. We’d zing him with the paintball gun and he’d turtle up and cover his eyes. This went on for like 5-6 drive bys. He eventually just ran into a neighbourhood park.
 
DMAN

DMAN

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aRTie02150 said:
I have plenty.

I remember when I would cum out the window and didn't even look out below doing so. Shit would just land on the sidewalk below. I also pissed out the same window for YEARS.
Click to expand...

aRTIe's view in between feeding his crows

y4BMrex.jpg
 
LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket

LaylaCumiasMoistHotPocket

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When i had a sore stomach (like rotten egg fart bad) I use to like dropping my pants to spread my butthole and fart in a bedroom, that way there would be no sound. I would leave the room and wait til my brothers or mother walked into the deadly vapor and i would say, “how could it be me if im in the other room”.

Also had a friend in high school that we dared to go to the doctor to tell him he had a sore anus and was bleeding. He was digitally examined and told there was nothing he could find. Doc gave him a tube of Anusol for the irritation. I think he went along with it because he was a faggot.
 
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JesseTheGovernor said:
I was a serial house-egger. My friend and I would buy like 3 cartons each and we’d pick one house and just bombard the shit out of it. Sometimes people would come out and we’d get them too. We were both fast also so we never got caught.

One time we started hammering this chick’s big upstairs bay window. Her dad appears in the window and we kept hucking and laughing. He comes out front yelling and we turned him into an omelette. He tried to run after us but was fat and middle aged so we just stayed ahead of him and continued pelting him until he ran out of juice.

Another time we were driving and we saw these chicks walking. I’m in the passenger seat, they are walking towards the car but on the driver’s side. My buddy turns the car towards them briefly and right at that moment I Hakeem Olajuwon’d a hookshot over the roof and it arced up and landed right on one chick’s head. I don’t have a good throw at all and it was the best one I’ve ever had in my life.

We were rolling through a mall parking lot and saw a kid pushing his buddy in a shopping cart. Me and a buddy in the backseat each lean out the window to our waists, eggs at the ready. Kid pushing just bolts into the shadows and the kid in the cart is a sitting duck. We crushed him unmercifully.

Later that night we were still egging and we were smashing this dude and his girlfriend at a red light next to us. He starts following us in his car, all coated in egg, so my buddy stops and lets two of us out. We sprinted full tilt at the car and the guy just backs up and peels right out of there. No idea what his plan was if he bailed that easily.

Another time we kept drive-by paintballing this skinny black kid who thought he was tough. He’d see us coming again and hold his shirt up exposing his belly and yell shit like you’d hear in Antoine Fisher. We’d zing him with the paintball gun and he’d turtle up and cover his eyes. This went on for like 5-6 drive bys. He eventually just ran into a neighbourhood park.
Click to expand...
Is there somethin wrong with me that I wanna do that now
 
LockedHDD__Pot

LockedHDD__Pot

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I've mentioned many before so I'll try to think of a new one:

We'd go to the public toilet & fill a plastic bag with wet tissue, then we'd walk to the nearby bus terminus & splatter the driver with handfuls of wet tissue, sometimes they'd try to shut the door but we'd just press the 'emergency open' button on the outside.
We'd also hold the 'engine stop' on the back of the bus, the driver would come out & we'd run round the front, then we'd run round the back & hold the button again, he'd be stuck there til we got bored.
There were some reeds planted near the bus stop, so we'd dip them in the bus diesel tank & run around with organic tiki torches
 
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I was a kleptomaniac as a kid. I would steal all sorts of shit lol. There was a cool keyring toy on a kid's bag in 1st grade, and instead of unclipping it I think I got some pliers or some shit and cut it off to steal it haha. I must have nigger ancestory.

The thing that I loved was that everyone thought I was a kind, sweetheart of a little boy. But meanwhile I was doing all sorts of horrible things to people.

In a different timeline I couldve grown up to be a politician or something.

Some bitch wanted me to do "inner child work" recently. Probably not a bad idea... I had a lot more fun as a kid.
 
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Would stare in the mirror alot, combing hair etc...once I was so enthralled with myself, I didn't notice my mom coming from behind. She gave me a smack with a rolled-up newspaper and said her version of "you can act like a man".

This was an issue up to the age of 11 or so...By 13 I still was spending a lot of time in the bathroom in front of the mirror, but this time to watch myself jerkoff to completion (into the sink).
 
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Child. said:
Would stare in the mirror alot, combing hair etc...once I was so enthralled I didn't notice my mom coming from behind. She gave me a smack with a rolled up newspaper and said her version of "you can act like a man"...

This was an issue up to the age 11 or so...By 13 I still was spending a lot of time in the bathroom in front of the mirror, but this time to watch myself jerkoff to completion (into the sink).
Click to expand...

Ew you watched yourself jerking off, isn’t that pretty gay? You’re watching yourself, but you’re still looking at a dude jerking off.
 
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