Watched Episode 1 of Tom Segura's Bad Thoughts on Netflix

[Imager]

The wife likes Burt Kreischer and dragged me to see him live a couple of years ago. He told a story about a retard on stage and I laughed. Yes, I laughed at Burt Kreischer once or twice in person. Most of it was cringe and is apparently on his latest Netflix special.

So sitting down with the wife tonight and she puts on Tom Segura's Bad Thoughts. I think she thought it was standup but apparently it's sketch comedy. Except with a decent budget, and not funny at all in any way.

We made it through the first full sketch (about a hitman in Cuba or something) without laughing and then the second sketch the wife had to shut it off. I would have shut it off faster but I was wondering how long she'd actually let it go for.

It's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life and I cannot believe Segura got a budget and got paid to do it and there were so many people involved and no one stopped this from happening.

I'm starting to believe the Holocaust actually did happen because I learned today that vile awfulness can be manufactured on purpose and no one actually will stop it.

Words cannot describe how bad this is. I'd rather watch all of Amy Schumer's specials back to back than to watch one episode of this shit.

 

[musta̖rd]

 

[Imager]

It's so bad that actually you should see it. To marvel at how it got made. And then it got released.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Laughing at Burt faggot when you’re there in person is acceptable. I assume only woman and faggots actually like him on their own. All I know about segura is he’s a faggot and I’m fine with that.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I watched the whole thing. It really is mostly shit. The Garth Brooks internment camp one was actually funny. And then there's one where he murders a bunch of baristas, that while not particularly funny, is impressively violent. There's a recurring story arc with AJ Soprano where he pisses off an IT guy at his job so the guy makes a hit VR game where you rape him that got a couple giggles out of me. The premise was funnier than the execution. I really don't remember anything besides those three things. I will say though, I'm pretty sure that hitman sketch was one of the weakest ones.

 

[Imager]

I watched the whole thing.

I can't even comprehend.

Even if you're correct that the first sketch was awful (the second one was equally bad too) why start off with your weakest material?

Laughing at Burt faggot when you’re there in person is acceptable.

Just barely. I was going to start a confession thread about it years ago and never got around to it.

He does this thing where he makes sure his openers are absolutely terrible. Compared to his openers Burt is like a fucking Norm MacDonald. One was this like German dude who literally had no punchlines and another was a fat nigger woman whose only punchline was "hay my daughter is a dyke she a big butch dyke"

So by the time Burt comes out and has energy you're fucking relieved. It's kind of genius in a way.

But he lost weight and he does his act topless so he's just more skinny fat than fat and that was the whole point of the topless bit or was it? I don't fucking know. I was just surprised that I laughed even once.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

I can't even comprehend.

Even if you're correct that the first sketch was awful (the second one was equally bad too) why start off with your weakest material?


Just barely. I was going to start a confession thread about it years ago and never got around to it.

He does this thing where he makes sure his openers are absolutely terrible. Compared to his openers Burt is like a fucking Norm MacDonald. One was this like German dude who literally had no punchlines and another was a fat nigger woman whose only punchline was "hay my daughter is a dyke she a big butch dyke"

So by the time Burt comes out and has energy you're fucking relieved. It's kind of genius in a way.

But he lost weight and he does his act topless so he's just more skinny fat than fat and that was the whole point of the topless bit or was it? I don't fucking know. I was just surprised that I laughed even once.

My point was if you’re the faggot with a scowl on his face the whole show that’s much worse. I’m a bit of an autistic when it comes listening, so stand up shows I almost always get called out. Because I’m not necessarily laughing, I’m autistically thinking about their writing style, what they’re saying and the point of their jokes. Almost every time a good comedian calls me out for not actually laughing because I’m being a fucking autistic. Why am I there if I’m just going to appreciate the art maaaaaaahhhn. I rightfully deserve it and it usually brings me back to enjoy the show. In other words, you go to a show to enjoy it, might as well embrace it. Even if it’s a pathological kikes show. At least find enjoyment with your wife.

 

[DooDooBrown]

But he lost weight and he does his act topless so he's just more skinny fat than fat and that was the whole point of the topless bit or was it? I don't fucking know. I was just surprised that I laughed even once.

Does he come out shirtless or does he come out and immediately take the shirt off? If it’s the latter, did you cheer when he took it off.

 

[Phish]

God. I miss this retard. RIP Big Lenny. Ketamine King.

 

[Imager]

Does he come out shirtless or does he come out and immediately take the shirt off? If it’s the latter, did you cheer when he took it off.

If I recall correctly he came out shirtless but he also had an intro video where he shows his bare ass because of course he does. So you see his ass and then he comes out topless and you’re relieved it’s not worse.

 

[Imager]

My point was if you’re the faggot with a scowl on his face the whole show that’s much worse. I’m a bit of an autistic when it comes listening, so stand up shows I almost always get called out. Because I’m not necessarily laughing, I’m autistically thinking about their writing style, what they’re saying and the point of their jokes. Almost every time a good comedian calls me out for not actually laughing because I’m being a fucking autistic. Why am I there if I’m just going to appreciate the art maaaaaaahhhn. I rightfully deserve it and it usually brings me back to enjoy the show. In other words, you go to a show to enjoy it, might as well embrace it. Even if it’s a pathological kikes show. At least find enjoyment with your wife.

Yeah but I literally once told Sarah Silverman her joke wasn’t good right in the middle of her set after she asked me. I’ll savor that forever.

But I’m with you: you do go out to comedy shows to have fun so you shouldn’t be the wet blanket. Unless you’re funny about it.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

But he lost weight and he does his act topless so he's just more skinny fat than fat and that was the whole point of the topless bit or was it? I don't fucking know. I was just surprised that I laughed even once.

I don't know if you've been keeping tabs on him but he's definitely fat as fuck again and hitting the booze hard. But he also does a bunch of "health" things (to extremes because he's a fat addict) like getting IV bags full of vitamins and supplements multiple times a week and getting his blood work done immediately after so he can claim that he has proof he's healthy. If he keeps this lifestyle up he'll be dead within five years, likely from a liver or pancreas disease. Which kind of sucks because while he's super obnoxious and not funny there's something entertaining about him from a psychological level. He's a circus freak-level narcissist and addict and he films himself seemingly 24/7.

 

[RoTheHo69]

God. I miss this retard. RIP Big Lenny. Ketamine King.

 

[CapeVerdean Porch Pirate]

That looked unbelievably shitty. I also detest the way these newer sketch show are shot. You're not a blockbuster film stupid stop trying to make up for the lack of humor or coherence.

 

[Ronnie G]

I went on a date earlier this year with a cute blondie who claimed she loves comedy and guys with a sense of humor (you all do, stupid). We talked about how stand-up comedy has taken a dive in the past decade or so, but she used Segura and that guy who ended up with Olivia Munn as counterpoints. She became less attractive as she talked about sobriety, plus her dad died recently or something. I dunno, it would still be nice to fuck her.

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Netflix has paid off the media.

Netflix quietly adds âhilariousâ new comedy series as fans beg for second season

‘I’ve never laughed so hard in my life,’ one viewer said of ‘Bad Thoughts’

www.the-independent.com

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

I went on a date earlier this year with a cute blondie who claimed she loves comedy and guys with a sense of humor (you all do, stupid). We talked about how stand-up comedy has taken a dive in the past decade or so, but she used Segura and that guy who ended up with Olivia Munn as counterpoints. She became less attractive as she talked about sobriety, plus her dad died recently or something. I dunno, it would still be nice to fuck her.

She sounds like a stupid fucking bitch, no offense intended

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

That looked unbelievably shitty. I also detest the way these newer sketch show are shot. You're not a blockbuster film stupid stop trying to make up for the lack of humor or coherence.

The highlight of the whole thing isn't funny at all, it's really well shot, movie quality action sequence of him graphically brutally maiming and killing a bunch of coffee shop employees because a barista gave him an attitude. You see people's jaws get ripped off and their faces melted off and shit. It's pretty awesome. I think the only joke ends up being that the cops let him go because they understand.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

The highlight of the whole thing isn't funny at all, it's really well shot, movie quality action sequence of him graphically brutally maiming and killing a bunch of coffee shop employees because a barista gave him an attitude. You see people's jaws get ripped off and their faces melted off and shit. It's pretty awesome. I think the only joke ends up being that the cops let him go because they understand.

Any enjoyment is ruined by knowing what an elitist faggot Segura is and how he looks down everyone not as least as rich as he is

 

[CuntFucker .]

The ideas of the sketches aren't worth the money and effort they put into realizing them. But I'd like to see sketch comedy generally following this direction of upping crudeness and violence.