TIFU by Not Making Enough Money Before My Wedding

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

And how long does that last without your gf complaining about how you wont see her family? Go ahead and explain it to me.

It was a problem every single christmas. It lasted about 10 years. I was actually thinking today as I was blowing shit up on my property that if my highschool gf (who I constantly cheated on) would've just been with any of the dudes that were half assed into her, she'd be a millionaire. I scared them all off being crazy and Canadian and threatening to kill them in graphic detail and such.

"This one is mine. She belongs to me."

And she did. And now she doesn't. She's still childless with a fucking goof who wears superhero clothing. I love that dumb cunt so much and I just wish she'd die so no other losers can fuck her. The guy she's with is the polar opposite of me and I want to beat the shit out of him in front of her and I can't even bring myself to do it because she's like "I know you can beat him up. I don't care." Nigga makes much better money than Abe. Nigga runs away when he sees me. Literally runs.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

"Ya. He's not going to throw his life away to get beat up."

FUCK YOU AND FUCK HIM

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

My girlfriend is like jerk-off-as-soon-as-you-see-her hot and I'd tell her to kick rocks if my highschool gal was like "wanna pick up where we left off?"

 

[Midian9876]

I got like 3 sentences in this and Reddit AIDS was so oozing off it I had to stop