This Comic's Life

[BudDickman]

Took a look at some old snapshots of his website and found this:

This Comic’s Life

Patrick Tomlinson can be seen performing comedy all over the U.S. like totally all the time... but most often in Milwaukee, Madison, and Chicago. His usua

web.archive.org

What does this photo of him studying a notebook and his phone simultaneously while looking like a kid on Sunday school have to do with being a comic?

It's pretty funny looking through some of the old snapshots of his webpage. He has been pretending to be an author since even before he published anything. The instant some short story gets published he's writing a multi-part "tips for writers" series. Same thing with getting his first book published; before the ink even dries on his contract he's writing a "let me tell you how the publishing business works" series.

 

[guest]

Nice empty notebook with awful jowels, Hemingway.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

"How I Fought Cyberterrorists - And WON!"
- an instruction manual on the best possible way to deal with online trolls.

 

[ActionJackson]

Nice shirt, stupid. What the fuck is up with that collar? It may be worse than the german meatloaf titty sweater's collar thing. I'm beginning to suspect this PorkRick guy dresses like an asshole.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Nice shirt, stupid. What the fuck is up with that collar? It may be worse than the german meatloaf titty sweater's collar thing. I'm beginning to suspect this PorkRick guy dresses like an asshole.

Eeeww good eye though, that shirt is atrocious. Looks like it was ripped out of some Latin music video from 2004-2005

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

whah happen to the Cthulhu comedy thing, my dude? Where your gigs go?

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Nice shirt, stupid. What the fuck is up with that collar? It may be worse than the german meatloaf titty sweater's collar thing. I'm beginning to suspect this PorkRick guy dresses like an asshole.

Holy shit I didn't even notice that.

wtf even is that - a shirt for leather daddies when they have to go to a job interview?

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Eeeww good eye though, that shirt is atrocious. Looks like it was ripped out of some Latin music video from 2004-2005

Ripped off the fancy large lady section at Lane Bryant.

How did your comedy career die?

 

[guest]

There's just something so punchable about his dumb face.

 

[Mitch Weaver]

Liar whore liar whore and you know it!

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Rick's Elvis stage

 

[Gay Faggot.]

He looks like an even faggier and fatter Jim Jeffries.

 

[FatPatsBaps]

Nice combover, faggot. You can tell he got several noogies back in the 80s.

 

[Mitch Weaver]

Rick's Elvis stage

He wishes

 

[analeggsalad]

community college super villain

IF they only knew what they were dealing with... *puts on shades*

 

[hammmburger]

Ripped off the fancy large lady section at Lane Bryant.

How did your comedy career die?

Yessssssssss, from the Foundry fashion line

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

nigger what are you wearing

 

[42069]

Never see Norm posed like that

 

[guest]

nigger what are you wearing

It's his Hellraiser costume. He's Pighead.

 

[BudDickman]

It is fucking fascinating to see the descent into a world of delusion:

Wayback Machine

web.archive.org

Just filter by html, sort the pages by FROM date, and pick the earliest versions of each page. He is such a fucking "fake it till you make it" fraud who has been trying to assert his non-existent authority at everything he pretends to do. He's been calling himself an author since before he published anything:

www.patrickstomlinson.com - News

web.archive.org

For some reason the wayback machine didn't crawl his "About" page circa 2011, which I would've been very curious to read. This short story with weird title does have a blurb at the end where he seems to lie about "snuggling with his wife". He was been marriages at the time:

EARTH GIRLS ARE HARD • by Patrick S. Tomlinson

Every Day Fiction is a magazine that specializes in bringing you fine fiction in bite-size doses. Every day, we publish a new short story of 1000 words or fewer that can be read during your lunch hour, on transit, or even over breakfast.

web.archive.org