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This always gives me a quick pick me up

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

❤️bonnie bonnie bonnie❤️
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This is a repeated scenario for Jim.

Step one: Buy some extravagant highly personal gift or item concerning a celebrity. Like a poster. Homerun baseball. Books. Stuff from their own personal life that you scored on ebay or whatever.

Step two: Present it to a celebrity for an autograph in a highly inappropriate environment like a charity or walking through the streets. Or during an interview. Or when the person is relaxing backstage before a concert or interview. And almost demand that they sign it and take a personal picture with you. Make sure to drop a few mentions of your standup comedy or HBO shows in the most casual and nonchalant way possible.

Optional step two: Force your friends to ambush a celebrity when you are on the road doing standup comedy to get an autograph for you. Norton once sent a six foot tall poster to Florentine when Florentine was interviewing some rock band. And begged Florentine to hound the band to sign the poster. I think that Kenny actually flew to California with the poster and escorted it to Florentine's studio. He would also leave a huge collection of crap in the O&A studio if a celebrity came so that Roland or Erock could get them to autograph it for Jim. At one point there was an entire closet with like boxing gloves, baseballs, NFL jerseys, and t-shirts of various athletes in case XM had one of them in the building for another show. So an intern could ambush some random Nascar driver and make them autograph a Hot Wheels car for Norton.

Step three: When celebrity autographs the item and takes a photograph with you you tell everyone. Tell the radio show and social media. Then display the items in your apartment for NO ONE to ever see until the day you die alone and the building super calls a cleanup crew to haul you to the morgue and the spic janitors dump your collection in the trash. Live alone with your collection talking to yourself like Multiple Migs.

Optional step three: When celebrity refuses to sign your item you get on the radio and rant that that celebrity should die of AIDS. And his entire family should be raped and burned alive. Say that you will never watch another movie or root for their team again.

If you want some good O&A segments on this find like "Norton's photo obsession" or "The Derek Jeter rant" for starters.

Don’t forget that one of the reasons he started liking MMA is because the guys were nice about signing autographs and taking pictures.
 

Mr Ass

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This is a repeated scenario for Jim.

Step one: Buy some extravagant highly personal gift or item concerning a celebrity. Like a poster. Homerun baseball. Books. Stuff from their own personal life that you scored on ebay or whatever.

Step two: Present it to a celebrity for an autograph in a highly inappropriate environment like a charity or walking through the streets. Or during an interview. Or when the person is relaxing backstage before a concert or interview. And almost demand that they sign it and take a personal picture with you. Make sure to drop a few mentions of your standup comedy or HBO shows in the most casual and nonchalant way possible.

Optional step two: Force your friends to ambush a celebrity when you are on the road doing standup comedy to get an autograph for you. Norton once sent a six foot tall poster to Florentine when Florentine was interviewing some rock band. And begged Florentine to hound the band to sign the poster. I think that Kenny actually flew to California with the poster and escorted it to Florentine's studio. He would also leave a huge collection of crap in the O&A studio if a celebrity came so that Roland or Erock could get them to autograph it for Jim. At one point there was an entire closet with like boxing gloves, baseballs, NFL jerseys, and t-shirts of various athletes in case XM had one of them in the building for another show. So an intern could ambush some random Nascar driver and make them autograph a Hot Wheels car for Norton.

Step three: When celebrity autographs the item and takes a photograph with you you tell everyone. Tell the radio show and social media. Then display the items in your apartment for NO ONE to ever see until the day you die alone and the building super calls a cleanup crew to haul you to the morgue and the spic janitors dump your collection in the trash. Live alone with your collection talking to yourself like Multiple Migs.

Optional step three: When celebrity refuses to sign your item you get on the radio and rant that that celebrity should die of AIDS. And his entire family should be raped and burned alive. Say that you will never watch another movie or root for their team again.

If you want some good O&A segments on this find like "Norton's photo obsession" or "The Derek Jeter rant" for starters.
I posted about the gene simmons rant elsewhere but didnt mention the fact that when gene blew him off norton was waiting outside the bathroom. Who wants to be accosted by someone they dont know after just leaving the bathroom no wonder he was in no mood.

“Its just a picture of me and him its not like im going to sell it!”
 
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jim asks intern to buy every beatles book he can find

in one of the most pathetic attempts to soften the blow of asking him to sign this giant poster quality picture

imagine how disgusted ozzy felt, i can imagine he actually thought for a second it would be a thoughtful gift
I love how delicately he puts the poster back in between the protective cardboard. Perish the thought the corner wrinkles!
 

Opie's #1 Brothaman

SHUT UP FOR 2 MINUTES
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I can't tell you how much laughter I got from seeing his stupid face right here. Worms on the verge of quiver crying while you hear opie & ant laugh at him is peak perfection.

That evil smile is the cherry on top.
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