The Patrick Tomlinson Interviews Part1

[kingship75]

Mst3k eh? What are your top eps? I’m sure you’ve seen final sacrifice, space mutiny and manos, but have you seen pumaman, l

I don't know about youse guys, but the very first episode I ever caught was "Pod People", back when it was airing on what was then called The Comedy Channel (before it merged with Ha! into the shitshow we have now).

That episode has always remained my favorite.

@Easily_Remembered can do stupid things!

 

[MonsterSteve]

I can't begin to imagine the panic running through his fat fucking head as he realized he'd been fooled YET AGAIN by those pesky cyber nazis. He must feel the way mob guys feel when the FBI plays audio of them admitting to murders and shit. Fat Fat Ruggierio.

Patty Two Chins

 

[guest]

I said that earlier. It's the only way he can "win" at this point. I'm not in the greatest of shape, but I'm not a fat obese porker like him either. If I had a number of people calling me "fat" every day then a) I'd probably agree with them and b) if it persisted every day I'd make damn sure I did something about it.

Rick, seriously, it's not too late. Deactivate your socials. Change your phone number. Hit the gym (not the fucking steam room, the weights) and eat a sensible diet. Stop drinking. Limit Hooligans to 1 day/week (you can have a few beers and one shitty meal per week). Find some writing classes in Milwaukee or even online and start taking them. Stop watching porn and jerking off, start fucking Niki the way she wants to be fucked. Get a job. Start taking MMA or something. Actually work on your craft instead of firing down beers and trying to write, it shows. If any of the atalkers manage to get your new number or some way to contact you, ignore them. Just ignore them. If you're doing all of this, you'll be busy anyway and you won't really care or have time to spend with them. This is important. You need to be busy.

Do this for a year. Then, if you want to, get back on your socials. I think you'll find you don't really care that much about them anymore since you'll actually have things going on in your real life that are more meaningful and interesting. Nobody will be able to call you fat since you won't be. You'll be a better person. If all that happens, I'd be willing to bet the atalkers will just leave you alone. Unless you're still shitty to people, but again I think if you become a better person you won't be such a bitter asshole. Good luck.

You typed all that out just to potentially be called a ‘child.’ Which apparently is an insult to our fat friend which he hilariously doesn’t get. Great advice though.

tl;dr Pat is overweight and wants to put us all to death because he’s a stupid faggot.

 

[guest]

This is all a bit right? He can not be real

 

[TokenX]

This is all a bit right? He can not be real

It's a long game bit and he's paying $117k for one big final loff.

 

[Tortfeasor]

This is the greatest thing since the recording of the court appearances. He's constantly snorting like the pig he is. He's so autistic how he pronounces his Ts. There is a part of me that feels bad for him. But he's such an insufferable prick that he's getting what he deserves. He should just stop engaging but he can't.

@JosiahMunoz, you're the hero we don't deserve.

Whenever you start feeling bad, read his Twitter.

 

[Guyincognito]

The scene where he's walking back home and everything reminds him of food still gets my ribs

"Big buttery moon in the sky, sidewalk kinda looks like ice cream if you squint at it"

One of my favorite mst3k jokes is when the cops are interviewing the villain about whether or not the guns in his case we loaded. The guy responded something like “some are some arent”. Then Crow said “i like to keep my guns randomly loaded. It’s a little game i like to play”. Still destroys my ribs

 

[Guyincognito]

I wonder if they have beer on the sun...

You better clear out kid, I’m gonna puke

 

[FLUUUID]

Patty Two Chins

Gonna go get the meatloaf get the meatloaf

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

He said we should all be put to death. Felony mass death harassment, atalker!

Also, anyone else notice he coughs a lot? Does Fatrick have Mu variant?

 

[Naked_Militiaman]

30:15 - Pat twice refers to “270” when he means 230. It’s not the electoral college, stupid.

Also does anyone else think the interviewer sounds like Ruben Pena?

I think you autists covered pretty much everything else. I was “late to the party” as Pat would say but I devoured the interview and every post in this thread with great gusto. Damn do I love this place.

 

[guest]

I've listened to this 3 times so far and I still can't believe it's real. All the "wow"s of disbelief had me howling they just amped up the breathy little piggy more. Still laughing at when Patrick disparaged the Wisconsin Republican Senator by saying he's as useless as tits on a boar and the brave Huffington Post reporter chuckled "okay alright." 10/10

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Im way late on this. Was out late last night and went right to work today. Saw a stickied post with 21 pages of comments and knew it had to be something huge.
I just listened to the whole thing and wow. There’s nothing I can really say that hasnt already been covered.
I’ve already been spoiled rotten, but my wish is that in the final call we get to hear Josiah reveal to Pat over the phone that he’s been Baba Booeyed and to hear his reaction.
I have questions about who it is and how they convinced Pat to do the interview. I say theres no way this call was the first point of contact and that Josiah convinced him offline in a very intricate way.

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

He said we should all be put to death. Felony mass death harassment, atalker!

Also, anyone else notice he coughs a lot? Does Fatrick have Mu variant?

hes absoutly disgusting kept coughing wheezing and breathing heavily the whole time, he was either jogging or drinking heavily during the whole call i cant decide

 

[NickGerz]

The funniest part of this, he doesn’t call the two cops “testosterone-soaked idiots,” he’s calling one of the officers and himself the two testosterone-soaked idiots.

Rick claims he and a cop were arguing, then Niki had to get in between them and say, “You two testosterone-soaked idiots won’t listen to each other.”

Also, I didn’t know Hooligans was only four blocks away from his house. So he drives his fag bike four blocks when he could easily walk there and back. Although, I wouldn’t want to walk four blocks in his nigger-ridden neighborhood.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

He has to be seething knowing that we’re laughing at him here and he gave up all that information

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

hes absoutly disgusting kept coughing wheezing and breathing heavily the whole time, he was either jogging or drinking heavily during the whole call i cant decide

You cant decide whether Pat was jogging or drinking heavily?
Because I could tell you for 100% fact which one of them it was.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I think this is the first time I’ve come to believe that Patrick is truly mentally ill.
Sure, I’ve always figured he had some OCD, maybe some ADD and minor stuff that most people out there are dealing with anyway.

But for someone to find themselves in a situation where their life is spiraling out of control, and to not only think they did nothing wrong, but to say that they would do everything the same exact way if they had the chance, bringing themselves to the same endpoint.
I mean Jesus, talk about issues. When someone finds themselves in a bad life situation, naturally you ask yourself what could you have done differently.

I know a guy that was almost killed in a brutal stabbing after getting involved in a streetfight. He said that he deeply regrets getting involved, even though he believes he did the right thing by sticking up for his friends. Patrick is doing the equivalent of saying that if he could go back in time he would get stabbed all over again just because he was in the right. He doesnt care about the end result, as long as he is “right”

I believe I did the right thing by trying to block a linebacker flying through the A gap when I broke my collarbone, but if I could go back in time I certainly wouldnt do that all over again. Or I would least take a different approach.

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=youtube]qFnModB9tlc:1409[/MEDIA]


unlimited ribs "and I've already kidnapped his lesbian wife"

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

After listening to him ramble. All I can think of is how awful it would be to accidentally sit next to him at a bar.