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The Black Phillip Show was shit

G

guest

Guest
His advice was pretty sound if you’re interested in trashy women. No woman I could ever respect would put up with being treated like an object or called bitch or talked to like she was a whore, or treated like a whore.

Of course women like security, they like to be protected, financially and physically, they like to have a companion. But some people act as though women see those things as commodities. They are not commodities. Those are the fruits of a healthy, mature, responsible, disciplined relationship that has, at its core, love, respect, putting the other person first, and fidelity.

I put my wife first, she put me first. Now we have kids, and we mutually agreed to put the kids first. We don’t have a perfect relationship, most of the issues are my fault because I am a bit of an asshole, but it has worked for going on 25 years. We met when she was 19 (AGE!!) and I wasn’t much older.

But, see, she’s different than just about any other woman I’ve ever met. First of all, she’s a church girl. She’s prudent, she’s decent, she has integrity, she’s honest, she’s modest in her language and behavior. Luckily our kids are like her. They are honest, they have integrity even at their age, I thank God every day they take after their mother.

It took me years of lying and pretending before I actually came to genuinely care about any of this shit. And what I found was that it’s way more fulfilling than the lifestyle I led before I met her. There is something about being with one person for 2 1/2 decades and eventually the intimacy and that faithfulness and that fidelity comes to be better than anything I’ve ever experienced with anyone else all those years ago.

It doesn’t hurt that she is athletic and looks 15 years younger than she is. I admit I’m shallow enough that that matters to me. But that’s OK.

Because that stuff isn’t nearly as important as the other gay bullshit I just told you. The stuff that the Patrice clones and ball washers get wrong all the time. If you are some high-value man, why are you digging around with women that fall for that type of shit? Those aren’t high value women.

Go find a mother for your children, idiot.
Patrice is someone I miss all the time, other than close personal friends of mine, the death of no one else has bothered me as much. But that show fucking sucked. If he had trimmed down and simplified it and kept the cast a little smaller at times, and kept the callers/guests under control little more, it could’ve been really really good. It was certainly funny. But there were parts that were just a grind to listen to because it just became noise.
 

Jack_Horner

Forum Clout
2,497
I'd argue that about 10-20% of the woman out there have a healthy relationship with their father. And if they do, then the things that I describe (and that Patrice described) will not only fail, it will be repellant to a woman that doesn't have Daddy Issues.

For instance, I used to do a lot of dating online, and one of the "tricks" that I used was that I would invite two or three women to come and hang out when I was going to a club or just hanging out downtown. Basically I would plan on spending Friday nights downtown, I'd text them a couple of days ahead of time letting them know what my plan was. It wasn't a "date" but that was intentional.

The reason I didn't explicitly ask them out was because a lot of women you meet online are "on the fence" and if I asked them out directly, they would often ghost me. If I kept things casual and it didn't feel like "a date" then things weren't weird if I did it five or six times a year. Obviously, if you explicitly out on a date and they say "no" or they ghost you, it would be super awkward to continue doing that. But this wasn't a date, the idea was basically that I was going to be doing these things anyways, and they should come down because if they didn't, they'd be "missing out."

So I'd just make this shotgun blast of text messages, and it was like "c'mon down, I'll be at [insert name] on Friday, it will be great you should come."

50% of the time, no one would show up, 45% of the time, one out of three people would show up, 5% of the time two people would show up.

I once pulled this stunt on someone that had a good relationship with her father, and as soon as I sent her the text message, she basically replied "if you want to go out with me, why don't you just ask me on a date?"

She saw right through my bullshit.
 

Queefer Sutherland

Fix me, Josh!
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16,925
Have you seen Dante waddle his way to the stage? He's built like sloth boy from the Dr. Moreau movie.


marlon_mini_me_2.jpg



photo_691_large.jpg
 
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340
Even The Worm shitted on it. I think it was in the Patrice Doc. He was saying something like Patrice just wanted to be seen as an advice guy since that stuff was trendy. I'm sure he used to praise it to his face while he was alive.
 

not that Jack Horner

If you saw me IRL you very likely wouldn't look me
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12,795
Patrice having an advice show was a genius idea because his advice was fucking hilarious

Patrice never claimed to be this all knowing pimp God

The fat loser fans who never heard any stuff Pimps say in pimp documentaries thought Patrice came up with most of his “philosophies” on women

Black phillip is funny, it reminds me of kevin brennans podcast in the sense he just brought in female comics and bullied them to almost tears

thats hilarious radio to me, i dont understand people who don’t get it
 

Roslyn Vampire

Forum Clout
5,641
Even The Worm shitted on it. I think it was in the Patrice Doc. He was saying something like Patrice just wanted to be seen as an advice guy since that stuff was trendy. I'm sure he used to praise it to his face while he was alive.
Giving advice was seen as trendy? Jim Norton said this? The fucking bawls on this worm.
 

CutesyMissy

"... radio's most notorious shock jock."
Forum Clout
2,981
Bitch better have my money

Ahh shit, here we go on the one ya'll with nothing around.
It ain't nothing like black pussy on my dick
Word to the motherfucking DJ Quik
I play hoes like dominoes, slapping bones
AMG's on the motherfucking microphone
I slang dick, bitch, nothing more and nothing less
You got a C-note, ho, you can take the test
And bring big fat titties and lots of back
You got the woody, and I got the axe
I'm no joke when I stroke for a client
Bitches need dick, so they buying it
G with the high-top fade
Open up your Coach bag, bitch, so I can get paid
And take off your G-string drawers
Bitch eat your Wheaties, 'cause I don't pause
What are you laughing at, ain't a damn thing funny
(Bitch betta have my money)
I don't charge by the inch, I charge by the foot
Think I'm lyin', bitch, here, take a look
100% USDA grade-A beef, here's my card, call me.

You look like you ain't been pumped in a while
Pick up the motherfucking phone and dial
And have your money in a big ass stack
I'm swingin' this dick like a new jack (Bitch) so.

(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money

Choose the position pronto, you're on the clock
You can suck the diggity-dick, but I'ma charge you a knot
Bend your ass on over and touch your toes
Hold your breath cause I'ma hold my nose
This dick of mine ain't friendly, baby
Will it hurt you, yeah maybe
Probably, because I'm 19 years old
I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
I ain't a prostitute, but I'll knock the boots
Women love me, they say I'm so cute
Girls wanna get with me, I'm tender
A big old butt, and a smile and I'm wit'em
Pussy ain't nothing but a game to me
Pockets on fat 'cause I played the freak
So when a ho when a wanna fuck to the pro of a teenage pimp.
I wanna see that grip, so:
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
Motherfuckers out there can't fade me
And bitches out there don't faze me
I take it blow for blow, a ho is a ho
A bitch is a bitch is a (bitch), so
Fuck all the rigamarole, I clock the dough
While I slang the blow
G's gonna do it to you slow while you sing along, ho
(Bitch betta have my money)
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
...Bitch
 

Nick Gerlips

Forum Clout
20,063
Ahh shit, here we go on the one ya'll with nothing around.
It ain't nothing like black pussy on my dick
Word to the motherfucking DJ Quik
I play hoes like dominoes, slapping bones
AMG's on the motherfucking microphone
I slang dick, bitch, nothing more and nothing less
You got a C-note, ho, you can take the test
And bring big fat titties and lots of back
You got the woody, and I got the axe
I'm no joke when I stroke for a client
Bitches need dick, so they buying it
G with the high-top fade
Open up your Coach bag, bitch, so I can get paid
And take off your G-string drawers
Bitch eat your Wheaties, 'cause I don't pause
What are you laughing at, ain't a damn thing funny
(Bitch betta have my money)
I don't charge by the inch, I charge by the foot
Think I'm lyin', bitch, here, take a look
100% USDA grade-A beef, here's my card, call me.

You look like you ain't been pumped in a while
Pick up the motherfucking phone and dial
And have your money in a big ass stack
I'm swingin' this dick like a new jack (Bitch) so.

(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money

Choose the position pronto, you're on the clock
You can suck the diggity-dick, but I'ma charge you a knot
Bend your ass on over and touch your toes
Hold your breath cause I'ma hold my nose
This dick of mine ain't friendly, baby
Will it hurt you, yeah maybe
Probably, because I'm 19 years old
I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
I ain't a prostitute, but I'll knock the boots
Women love me, they say I'm so cute
Girls wanna get with me, I'm tender
A big old butt, and a smile and I'm wit'em
Pussy ain't nothing but a game to me
Pockets on fat 'cause I played the freak
So when a ho when a wanna fuck to the pro of a teenage pimp.
I wanna see that grip, so:
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
Motherfuckers out there can't fade me
And bitches out there don't faze me
I take it blow for blow, a ho is a ho
A bitch is a bitch is a (bitch), so
Fuck all the rigamarole, I clock the dough
While I slang the blow
G's gonna do it to you slow while you sing along, ho
(Bitch betta have my money)
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
(Bitch) Bitch betta have my money
...Bitch
Suga free?
 

LingerLonger

Still spreading the O&A virus
Forum Clout
30,382
Patrice having an advice show was a genius idea because his advice was fucking hilarious
It was hilarious because of how bad it was. Yet Patrice pushed it like it was some godly truth. And even he knew it was retarded and he was just playing a stupid character on air. He never took his own advice and just made up all this crazy shit a man should do like be verbally abusive and juggle ten women and call your girlfriends a cunt in public.
Patrice never claimed to be this all knowing pimp God
He did which was part of the humor. Him claiming to be this alpha male pussy slayer. Meanwhile he has a dopey below average girlfriend with another dude's kid to boot. If you knew Patrice's real home life it was obvious he was playing a character.
 

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

DMANIAC
Forum Clout
48,535
The problem with Patrice is he has become deified. Yes, his advice was funny and entertaining and I’m sure had merits on a lot of different levels, but putting it to use is a different story.

The best advice he ever gave was to understand that you have value so you need to act like it. That is going to be different for everybody because your actions need to be true to your personality. Not everybody can pull off calling women bitches to their faces.

He was also spot on about how thinking like a woman is awful. For example, I don’t believe any of my girlfriends had any actual hobbies or interests and they seemed to view my hobbies and interests as their competition. They were worried that I thought they were boring, which was true. I think someone here said that women are the intermediary between the dad and the children and it's fucking brilliant.

So there are things in there that are really good but don't think you can just copy/paste his advice in real life.
 
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