Still waiting to hear from Teen Vogue, y’all

[TorqueWheeler]

 

[guest]

He's wearing a Brewers hat AND a Brewers t-shirt on a beach in Costa Rica.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

He's wearing a Brewers hat AND a Brewers t-shirt on a beach in Costa Rica.

His status as one of the ugliest creatures on the planet distracted me from that.

 

[DanMullen'sRetardedNephew]

Look how swollen he is, the chronic alcoholism is really taking its toll, the obesity and rage issues too.

 

[guest]

Nice pink fishbowl face, stupid.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

the nigga fat

 

[Brooke Shields]

Patrick S. Fishman

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

That fucking mouth absolutely disgusts me. When he kept doing that "there's something wrong with your mouth, child" shit to Josiah, it really would have been a perfect time to be like "Patrick, you have an actual fish mouth. There is literally something wrong with your mouth."

And fix those glasses or throw them out. They're crooked as fuck. I couldn't walk around wearing those, I'd feel like a retard. Same goes for tiny Brewers hats.

 

[fricklefrackle]

His attempt at pontificating the nature of the universe and existence in general brought me to the closest I've ever wanted to kill myself due to his sheer stupidity.

 

[Heyfellas]

He's wearing a Brewers hat AND a Brewers t-shirt on a beach in Costa Rica.

Walking billboard for “rob the absolute fuck out of me I’m a Midwestern rube”

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

That fucking mouth absolutely disgusts me. When he kept doing that "there's something wrong with your mouth, child" shit to Josiah, it really would have been a perfect time to be like "Patrick, you have an actual fish mouth. There is literally something wrong with your mouth."

And fix those glasses or throw them out. They're crooked as fuck. I couldn't walk around wearing those, I'd feel like a retard. Same goes for tiny Brewers hats.

Nothing about his fat mouth makes any sense.

Unless...
Can he stretch it like silly putty around gigantic sandwiches as seen in Scooby Doo? Or like a snake swallowing whole an entire burned Wellington?

 

[Meownaw]

He is hideous. Very fat too.

 

[Joe_Cumia_Eats_HUMAN_SHIT]

His head is bulging like a Tom Savini creation

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

"Mr. Tomlinson, we got your tweet, but we actually found a 19 year old journalism student from NYU who's willing to offer the same vapid, shallow, horseshit our audience craves for literally no money. She's an intern. If she plays her cards right she could come out of school with a part time job for minimum wage. To her credit, she was able to cobble together a resume and cover letter. She didn't just oink at us on Twitter demanding a job. Did you even look at the account you were yelling at? TEEN Vogue."

 

[Bigsmooth]

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

View attachment 9930

BAH GAWD I OWE QUASI 30 GRAND, SWEET MOTHER OF GAWD!!

I'M ALSO GAY, CHILD!!!

 

[Clint Ruin]

Those lip creases never stop creeping me out. You're a horrendous-looking monster, Rick. Humans don't look like that.

 

[guest]

You don’t think Teen Vogue readers want to hear from a fat, grey haired, “straight”, white man?

 

[EraGodless]

You don’t think Teen Vogue readers want to hear from a fat, grey haired, “straight”, white man?

WHAT? TOO REAL???

 

[Raymond]