Sneak preview of Joseph Cumia’s #cruiselife

[JebJoh]

THIS is why we, individually, and collectively as a whole, have to vow not to blow this up. The 'Joe viewpoint' will be hilarious to witness. He will walk on that boat thinking he's a rock star then find out he's one paygrade above the waiters and has the same accommodations as the guy mopping the floor.

And you just know he will - once again - use his vast military training and background to make himself think this won't be an issue. However, what you can tolerate living in the barracks when you're 20 is very different than what you can tolerate at 70. Those bunks don't have extra firm mattresses or a My Pillow. He will leave this boat a broken man, literally and figuratively, understanding Cruise Life and chasing rock and roll stardom are endeavors for the young.

AND he will have sold off all his gear that allows him to make a living on dry land!! DO NOT BLOW THIS UP!!!

He will not be a paygrade above waiters, as a matter of fact he might see the money they are making and switch jobs in the middle of his trip.

The difference is the work load, waiters make a lot more than no name entertainment except they have to work 12-14 hours per day and be nice to everyone in order to get decent tips. Joe would make more booking 4 TGIF gigs every week and not have to live like a migrant worker.

I knew 1 guy who somehow convinced a foreign cruise company that he was a well known guitar player here in NY, they still paid him about the same as the waiters made but they gave him an unsold room to stay in and he was allowed to eat in the dining room. The small room musicians, dj, and other entertainment help all had to share 2 connected rooms next to (or directly above) the sewage processing station. I can see Joe getting fired for trying to have a tip jar.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

THIS is why we, individually, and collectively as a whole, have to vow not to blow this up. The 'Joe viewpoint' will be hilarious to witness. He will walk on that boat thinking he's a rock star then find out he's one paygrade above the waiters and has the same accommodations as the guy mopping the floor.

And you just know he will - once again - use his vast military training and background to make himself think this won't be an issue. However, what you can tolerate living in the barracks when you're 20 is very different than what you can tolerate at 70. Those bunks don't have extra firm mattresses or a My Pillow. He will leave this boat a broken man, literally and figuratively, understanding Cruise Life and chasing rock and roll stardom are endeavors for the young.

AND he will have sold off all his gear that allows him to make a living on dry land!! DO NOT BLOW THIS UP!!!

I say four days is the over/under on how long it takes for Joe to begin whining and blubbering. He'll be reprimanded for dressing like a bum, or his throat will crap out on him, and at that point, the angry posts about how unfairly he's being treated will begin. On top of that, this will be Joe's first real paycheck in ages, and he'll lose his shit when he sees those payroll deductions. I believe the whole thing will be pure comedy gold.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I can see Joe getting fired for trying to have a tip jar.

They’ll let it slide once and then he will be discreetly informed that he can’t have that thing out, please don’t do it next time.

Joseph will be passive aggressive and laugh it off, but as the ship lulls in the dark sea he will be furiously pecking at his laptop RANTING about his horrible treatment.

Pan to three days later, Joseph is woken up bright and early and informed that his contract has been terminated for trashing the cruise line. He will be given a severance package that covers just under half of his travel expenses and will have to call baby bro from some tourist trap in the pacific.

 

[Petworth dude]

I’m sure he’ll sneak into a suite for paying customers to take a pic and claim it’s his digs on the ship, but this is how he’s going to be living as a senior citizen for months on end:

View attachment 130094

I hope he bails on it almost immediately, only because Layla is at the most vulnerable age when she needs a present father more than ever. Joe ditching her to play old man and the sea is the worst possible choice for his daughter. I guess he figures she’s going to end up with a string of abusive boyfriends anyway so may as well have fun instead of being there for her.

Joe, you’re a piece of shit. I hope you get beaten to death by one of the many niggers you’ll be forced to (try to) entertain for minimum wage. At least then Layla can lie to herself and pretend Dad “was just about to get his life together when tragedy struck.”

These look the racks enlisted sailors sleep on in the US Navy - AKA the branch Blow Joe should have joined (or the judge should have made him join) because he would've had more opportunities for cock than the Army.

 

[Lucky Buddha Beer]

They’ll let it slide once and then he will be discreetly informed that he can’t have that thing out, please don’t do it next time.

Joseph will be passive aggressive and laugh it off, but as the ship lulls in the dark sea he will be furiously pecking at his laptop RANTING about his horrible treatment.

Pan to three days later, Joseph is woken up bright and early and informed that his contract has been terminated for trashing the cruise line. He will be given a severance package that covers just under half of his travel expenses and will have to call baby bro from some tourist trap in the pacific.

Picturing Joe standing on a dock in Haiti holding his suitcase dumbfounded as the ship leaves port. Then he looks around him and only sees a sea of black faces. He's then beaten to death by a mob with his own Chinese knock off guitars.

 

[HH Brother]

 

[NoBacon]

It really is harrowing busking on a cruise ship for a few bucks in your late 70s. I suppose he’s got to pay the bills somehow now his ex millionaire younger brother is a disgraced pedophile living in a slum.

 

[Saddam Hussein]

It really is harrowing busking on a cruise ship for a few bucks in your late 70s. I suppose he’s got to pay the bills somehow now his ex millionaire younger brother is a disgraced pedophile living in a slum.

How did he never think about retirement?

 

[Cumiace]

Wait til he finds out he has to hot-bunk with Dudu and Rajesh

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Joseph can’t help himself. He already brags and makes a dope of himself on his daughter’s Facebook so we know he won’t be able to at least post the occasionally retarded video and “opinions re:” thoughts.

From your lips to God’s ears.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Picturing Joe standing on a dock in Haiti holding his suitcase dumbfounded as the ship leaves port. Then he looks around him and only sees a sea of black faces. He's then beaten to death by a mob with his own Chinese knock off guitars.

This made me laugh really loudly in the middle of a video conf I was supposed to be paying attention to. Holy shit, I wish I was an animator so we could bring this to life.

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

He'll be reprimanded for dressing like a bum, or his throat will crap out on him, and at that point, the angry posts about how unfairly he's being treated will begin.

“Cruise ship didn’t have my bags of Lay’s potato chips. No chips, no voice. Thanks, Obama!”

 

[Wa4892]

I say four days is the over/under on how long it takes for Joe to begin whining and blubbering. He'll be reprimanded for dressing like a bum, or his throat will crap out on him, and at that point, the angry posts about how unfairly he's being treated will begin. On top of that, this will be Joe's first real paycheck in ages, and he'll lose his shit when he sees those payroll deductions. I believe the whole thing will be pure comedy gold.

Speaking of under/over, what's the under/over on the number of guitars Joe shows up with? I'm going with 5 guitars.

Then add two loopers and 2 amps with 4 speakers in each one and enough watts to play Lalapalooza. Cant wait to see 'the look' when he's informed he's playing in a 20x20 venue.

 

[HH Brother]

How did he never think about retirement?

He's black, funster.

 

[NoBacon]

Righteous bucks.

An In-Depth Review of Cruise Ship Musician Salaries and Perks

All the answers to your questions about what it pays to play on a cruise ship. A starting cruise ship musician salary can range from $2,000 to $3,300/month!

www.landaumusic.com

He’s probably making 3-4k a month.

 

[Petworth dude]

Picturing Joe standing on a dock in Haiti holding his suitcase dumbfounded as the ship leaves port. Then he looks around him and only sees a sea of black faces. He's then beaten to death by a mob with his own Chinese knock off guitars.

As Joe put it on Twitter...

 

[NoBacon]

Righteous bucks.

An In-Depth Review of Cruise Ship Musician Salaries and Perks

All the answers to your questions about what it pays to play on a cruise ship. A starting cruise ship musician salary can range from $2,000 to $3,300/month!

www.landaumusic.com

He’s probably making 3-4k a month.

If he does a 6 month contract he gets 21k before taxes and he’s still got a mortgage and bills to pay for his family at home so he can’t just sit on it till he’s back.

This is poverty level work, while living in a shitty cabin in the middle of the ocean surrounded by fat niggers. I feel bad for him, I probably won’t even call in as a racially abused black victim of his while he’s on board.

 

[ISO__JOE]

Did Nana cut off his allowance? Being on a cruise for 5 days was a miserable experience by the 4th day.

 

[HH Brother]

Righteous bucks.

An In-Depth Review of Cruise Ship Musician Salaries and Perks

All the answers to your questions about what it pays to play on a cruise ship. A starting cruise ship musician salary can range from $2,000 to $3,300/month!

www.landaumusic.com

He’s probably making 3-4k a month.

That's several chink guitars, funster.

 

[guest]

These look the racks enlisted sailors sleep on in the US Navy - AKA the branch Blow Joe should have joined (or the judge should have made him join) because he would've had more opportunities for cock than the Army.

If Joe had joined the Navy back in the day he'd probably be out and proud now, still talking about the fact that he "had the best sex" of his life in those two years at sea.