TWENTY PLUS YEARS LATER AND I'm still commuting to
Manhattan from Long Island, or vice versa. And it's
still the best time for me to reflect and dream.
I now have the good fortune to drive an insanely fast, ex
pensive brand-new Jaguar F -Type. Every single time I sit in
this car, it reminds me of my dick size.
I was recently driving back after my show to my house in
Long Island, and I saw an Apollo Air Conditioning van
ahead of me on the Long Island Expressway. It was the
same piece of shit I used to drive when I worked there. I im
mediately had this impulse to catch up to it and see the guy
driving it.
I could literally see, smell, and feel what it was like to be
that guy driving back from some thankless shit job in NYC.
I caught up and looked out my passenger window, and I
saw the driver of the van.This guy looked just miserable. He
had the hat and uniform on. I have to give him major props
for that, because I rarely ever wore either. I was never the
company-guy type.
The driver of the van was looking out his windshield with
an almost dead stare at the road. I could only imagine what
was going on in his mind. I knew damn well it wasn't
Apollo Air Conditioning. He had some dream, some other
thing than driving that van that he rather would have been
doing. I fucking empathized with this guy I didn't even know, but I did at the same time.
He and I were in such different worlds at this point. He
had no idea that the guy next to him in the brand-new
exotic sports car used to be him. I was that guy!
I'm not saying I'm better than this guy, because I'm not.
I'm just saying I can relate, and when I saw his face, it
brought me right back to where I used to be. I know that
when I was sitting where he was, I wanted to be something
different. The odds that someone will get out of that situ
ation are astronomical, but I did.
This young air-conditioning guy turned his head and saw
me looking at him. I gave him a nod, and he flipped me the
finger. I then stomped on the gas and took off at about 120
miles per hour, never looking back-only forward, mother
fucker!