Remember when Pat was in traffic court for a speeding ticket?

[guest]

1.7* GPA didn't get hired for anything to do with selling cars. He was a retard hired to wipe dead bugs off windscreens. Loser, 25, braggart, unlikable faggot, with no skills or education, and they trusted him with the keys to a supercar? Sure. That happened.

He probably showed them the pictures of his stable of mustangs he kept in his wallet and they knew he was a Real Car Guy and could handle it.

 

[Stent]

He probably showed them the pictures of his stable of mustangs he kept in his wallet and they knew he was a Real Car Guy and could handle it.

I bet he'd shoot the breeze with the mechanics and he'd say all the right car words so they knew he was just like them. They definitely didn't laugh at him and give him an insulting nickname.

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

Pat sucked at selling cars and quit after 2 months. If he was good he would go to another dealership but he didn’t and his then wife had to get him a job at her work. Being an arrogant idiot I assume Pat only wanted to sell mustangs and didn’t bother to learn about the other Ford cars so he could be a good salesman. You don’t make money selling mustangs, you learn the trucks (F150 is the top selling truck in the country something like 20 years running) and SUV’s because those sell.

Pat as a salesman would have been hilarious, he’s such a wimp pussy he would probably hide from customers.

Guaranteed the other salesman would have to help him with the paperwork and would take part of the commission for their trouble.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

You know when anyones impressed by you going 100 MPH on a highway? Never. Hopefully he gets caught and charged for reckless driving.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

View attachment 45802For context, he’s on some retarded drunken Twitter thread about working at a Ford dealership in Dunedin and getting no money, etc.

I can't knock on the Ford GT, it is a decent car and the only American super car, but God damn he's got a hard on for Ford.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Are we supposed to be impressed? I've hit 95 in Toyota Corollas and Honda Civics regularly, 100 in a Mustang is supposed to be cool or special?

Yes, because American cars are expected to fall apart at 100 mph. I bet that Mustang of his was vibrating and rattling like crazy once he hit triple digits. Not too long ago America was making 88 horse power camaros.
American car tech is designed for you to buy a new car every three years. The worst thing Obama did wasn't droning the fuck out of people, it was bailing out these absolute dog shit American car companies

 

[CuckQueen]

Having said what I said earlier, when I first got my licence and car, my friends all did at the same time, and we went to a Buddhist temple thing for hipsters to meditate, and we drifted around their zen garden bevause the trees made it look like a race course. We destroyed the whole thing and I still laugh about it, fuck those Buddhists. Sometimes when I’m down bad, I like to imagine them seeing their peace garden vandalised. I hope they think Muslims did it.

Any actual follower of the teachings of the Buddhas would not only not give a shit, but both laugh and appreciate that. Some of the monks make these intricate sand mandelas that take thousands of hours and then just destroy them. It pisses the tourists off but they say, "What the fuck does it matter? Do you think it was going to last ten thousand years? And even if it did, so what? A cat would have walked on it, a kid would have fucked it up." The whole point of a sand garden is it is going to be constantly messed up, much like life, and all we can do is experience the bliss of each moment and recognize the foolishness of our strivings.

"What did you do before enlightenment?"
"Chop wood, carry water."
"What do you do after enlightenment?"
"Chop wood, carry water."

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Another absurdly embarrassing quote to throw on the pile with the rest.

It’s hilarious when he tries to sell himself as a hellraiser when the Josiah tapes and his court audio are out there. Namby-pamby momma’s boy.

 

[BudDickman]

Reminder that Pat claimed to sell cars for two months and in the same post talked about selling cars "months" later and claimed to have knowledge of inventory years after the fact.

Here's the full text, with the inconsistency highlighted:

That's because car dealers are delusional nit-wits when it comes to low volume cars. I worked as a salesman for two months at a Ford dealership near Tampa a few years ago. They had gotten their allotted 05 GT, and promptly marked it up to $275,000, (yes, a $125,000 ADM). One of the ball players from Philly who had spring training down there bought it for that price because he was rich and stupid.

So figuring they had a golden goose on their hands, the dealer went out and bought seven more GT's from all these little dealerships located away from the relatively affluent coasts. The cheapest the paid for them was $225,000, figuring they could still sell them all for $275,000.

The problem of course is that unlike ball players, most rich people didn't get rich by being incredibly stupid with money. Everyone else laughed at the price and told us to give them a call when they were below 175k. Then the a-arm recall fiasco happened, pulling them all off the floor for months. By the time the seven cars got back, the already tiny pool of people both rich and stupid enough to pay double MSRP for a car already had one. I managed to sell one at $212,000, and told the bosses that would be the last one anybody sold until they dropped the price to MSRP. They didn't listen. They sat there for two more years before they finally came off the price. Last I know, they still had three left.

Idiots.

K

I also like how he has knowledge about what their current inventory is somehow even though he worked there years ago.

This is a feature in several of his made up stories, where he magically knows shit that he has no reason to know. He's like an omnipotent narrator of the real world. Maybe the reason why he pursued writing is because he gets to make up stories without anyone calling bullshit.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

The ONLY time I took my car past 100 was when I was trying to get home at 3 in the morning from a boring-as-fuck bachelor party in West Virginia.
Nobody on the road, nobody in the car. Not showing off, just flying south on 270 because I wanted to get away from townie skanks and piss-poor pharmaceuticals as quickly as I could. I've NEVER told anyone but my wife about this because it's fucking stupid to brag about speeding on public roads.

Only reason I'm saying it now is because Fatrick is very fat. And most likely smells bad.

 

[Meownaw]

W-w-will the insTrucTions be sent on the... umm liTeraTure you send me?

Just ask "will the directions be on what you send me"? Like a normal person you fat hog.

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

I’m more impressed he fits in his gay womens mustang

He kind of fits

Only because he has no ballbag and can squish his knees together like that.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He worked there for two months and he was trying to tell them how to run the business. Pat has always been a clown. Its hilarious that this was such a milestone in his life that he is still telling it 17 years later when it was just another day to the other people working there. This was a bigger moment in his life than his daughter birth.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He kind of fits

Only because he has no ballbag and can squish his knees together like that.

Ha, he doesn’t even have Bluetooth.

 

[Will Tate]

Ha, he doesn’t even have Bluetooth.

Funny, my Corolla does. Guess I'm just doing it all wrong.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Ha, he doesn’t even have Bluetooth.

This thing has a 5 disc CD changer. Its one step away from a cassette deck