Remember when Pat accidentally destroyed his fat phone in Mexico?

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

I don’t remember exactly when it happened but the circumstances were suspicious. And very very fat

 

[Toothless Enthusiast]

A month before the debtors exam lol, what a coincidence!

 

[CompoundBasement]

A month before the debtors exam lol, what a coincidence!

That cenote is a tourist attraction where filthy, sweaty tourists swim, and piss, and it's also filled with bats (several which are very likely diseased) that piss, shit, die, and decompose in that "fresh" water.

Retard tried and failed to scam Samsung into giving him a new, overpriced, gimmicky flip phone free of charge.

The timing of that phone being drowned in that piss-water cenote was extremely suspicious because it was right around the time "Torswats" posted on Telegram that Fatso had stiffed him out of over $200 for paid swattings called on himself.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

And that fat man facing $71k in legal fees rushed out and paid another $1800 for the same phone.

I don't think I'd appreciate that if I was the one bailing Fatrick out financially.

 

[SensibleKeks]

Pat's probably got tricked into believing you can recharge your cellphone in the microwave.

 

[guyincognito2.0]

A month before the debtors exam lol, what a coincidence!

Almost like when Tom Brady destroyed his phone just before the deflate gate investigation. Nothing suspicious to see here!

 

[MonsterSteve]

Did you put your phone in rice, faggot? That trick has never worked.

 

[guest]

And that fat man facing $71k in legal fees rushed out and paid another $1800 for the same phone.

I don't think I'd appreciate that if I was the one bailing Fatrick out financially.

Funny thing about those Mexican cenotes, every single one of them has a vendor there selling plastic waterproof cellphone covers for like $5. I can only imagine what the Mexican's face looked like when (a) Pat told him he didn't need one, "my phone is waterproof, gracias" and (b) Pat was walking back, face beet red and shaking his phone, screaming that he couldn't access his Twitter...

 

[Hoolies]

That cenote is a tourist attraction where filthy, sweaty tourists swim, and piss, and it's also filled with bats (several which are very likely diseased) that piss, shit, die, and decompose in that "fresh" water.

You obviously haven't noshed on fresh local tiramisu or even fired up Duolingo this week to learn some handy mexican, so lemme translate that lil' signó for ya: "4 meters" means no dirt larger than 13 feet can ever soil the crystal clear cenote waters, 'cause it won't fit through the hole.

And you should trust me on this, as I was conceived when some lively post-rodeo jizz wicked through madre's underoos on a backseat of a Greyhound headed to Cancún.

 

[CompoundBasement]

You obviously haven't noshed on fresh local tiramisu or even fired up Duolingo this week to learn some handy mexican, so lemme translate that lil' signó for ya: "4 meters" means no dirt larger than 13 feet can ever soil the crystal clear cenote waters, 'cause it won't fit through the hole.
View attachment 186181
And you should trust me on this, as I was conceived when some lively post-rodeo jizz wicked through madre's underoos on a backseat of a Greyhound headed to Cancún.

I've never had lasagna in a Mexican tourist trap dive bar, meatloaf in Germany, or scrambled eggs in a Parisian cafe either. I'm just a philistine with a lunch pail and a thermos full of coffee.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

That cenote is a tourist attraction where filthy, sweaty tourists swim, and piss, and it's also filled with bats (several which are very likely diseased) that piss, shit, die, and decompose in that "fresh" water.

Retard tried and failed to scam Samsung into giving him a new, overpriced, gimmicky flip phone free of charge.

The timing of that phone being drowned in that piss-water cenote was extremely suspicious because it was right around the time "Torswats" posted on Telegram that Fatso had stiffed him out of over $200 for paid swattings called on himself.

He thinks he was swimming in Evian. The amount of minerals in that water bricked his phone instantly.

 

[Honeycomb Hideout]

Oh sweet summer children. I did not Oopsie my Doodles.

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

Led to my favorite Mr Smith rant

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Over 20 years ago I worked for radio shack (I know, what a dork) seasonal when I was in high school and cell phones for Verizon / Sprint were a major part of the business and we actually had a water proof cell phone - it was military style and was meant for “outdoors” types and was very durable and could go up to 50 feet underwater. Of course the thing was the size of a brick and weighed about the same and nobody bought it.

Piggy though a small foldable smart phone made by Samsung could do the same thing. Fucking retard is an understatement.

 

[Fat little piggy]

Fat retard. It's not as pure and clean as nature can get water but even if it was it still has to be filtered and chemically treated further to make it just potable never mind being further distilled to be able to be used in a lab or for testing. He's probably one of those people who can't grasp the fact that the same water that comes out of the sink also fills the toliet bowl and when you flush the toliet it goes out the same pipe as your sink drain. Fuck he couldn't even be bothered to buy a kit and hook up his water filter and ice machine on his new refrigerator.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Fat retard. It's not as pure and clean as nature can get water but even if it was it still has to be filtered and chemically treated further to make it just potable never mind being further distilled to be able to be used in a lab or for testing. He's probably one of those people who can't grasp the fact that the same water that comes out of the sink also fills the toliet bowl and when you flush the toliet it goes out the same pipe as your sink drain. Fuck he couldn't even be bothered to buy a kit and hook up his water filter and ice machine on his new refrigerator.

The fact he spent money on a fridge with a water dispenser yet doesn’t have it hooked up always makes me laugh. Then again, we’re talking about a couple in their 40s that has to put their microwave on top of their fridge. That’s a new low in white trash behavior.

 

[chewtoycock]

Over 20 years ago I worked for radio shack (I know, what a dork) seasonal when I was in high school and cell phones for Verizon / Sprint were a major part of the business and we actually had a water proof cell phone - it was military style and was meant for “outdoors” types and was very durable and could go up to 50 feet underwater. Of course the thing was the size of a brick and weighed about the same and nobody bought it.

Piggy though a small foldable smart phone made by Samsung could do the same thing. Fucking retard is an understatement.

Even if there was a reasonable expectation to believe that, why would you take a $2000 piece of your everyday life swimming like that with even the slightest chance it's going to get fried? Oh right, so he could pull his $2000 phone out and take ecstatic fat selfies with water dripping off the corner of the lens while he brags. Faggot.

 

[Fat little piggy]

The fact he spent money on a fridge with a water dispenser yet doesn’t have it hooked up always makes me laugh. Then again, we’re talking about a couple in their 40s that has to put their microwave on top of their fridge. That’s a new low in white trash behavior.

And to top it off it partially blocks the doorway. You know the delivery guys had to ask "Are you sure" when Pat showed them where to put it

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Even if there was a reasonable expectation to believe that, why would you take a $2000 piece of your everyday life swimming like that with even the slightest chance it's going to get fried? Oh right, so he could pull his $2000 phone out and take ecstatic fat selfies with water dripping off the corner of the lens while he brags. Faggot.

Exactly - I’ll have to see if I can find a photo but the waterproof phone was big and bulky - wasn’t really even meant for your pocket but a bag or army fatigue pants and could only make phone calls. For someone to think a small smartphone that the screen can crack if you drop it on a wood floor hard enough is water proof is insane and stupid. Plus very fat.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

And to top it off it partially blocks the doorway. You know the delivery guys had to ask "Are you sure" when Pat showed them where to put it

And you know he didn’t tip them