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Queen Les says you can’t even give away Ricks unreadable dreck

Kanon

Forum Clout
231
I read 98% of Starship Repo and had to bail. It was a terrible slog and I didn't need to read how it ended, it was so predictable. The worst parts were his additions of contemporary movies, actors, social media, and musicians into the mix. Three examples:

Page 91:

"Aah!" First corrected. "Leave the Skeksis alone. She's not bothering you," First said. Before she'd left PCB, The Dark Crystal and other Jim Henson productions had come back into vogue once the Assembly archive had opened and mankind learned he'd actually been an alien refugee trapped on twentieth-century Earth after a navigation malfunction. He and David Bowie crash-landed on the same ship.

Page 113:

She stared, openmouthed, at the gossamer rings laid out like the ridges of a platinum record glinting in the sun, and on down to the crescent pearl of Mulos Minor at the center. It was breathtaking in every sense of the word.

That'd make one hell of an album cover, First thought.

Something - no, First corrected herself, someone - bumped into her from behind.

"Oh. My. Lords!" The red, segmented being exclaimed at First's face. "Your human cosplay is incredible!"

"Um, thanks?"

"The face, the skin tones, it must have taken forever!"

"About eighteen years, actually," First said. "But my parents helped some."

"Wow! Can I get a selfie?"

I'd prefer if you - "

Flash!

"Right."

"Thank you sooo much," the red alien in the absurdly long Wolverines onesie said as they inch-wormed away. "My followers will love this. You're amazing."

Page 264:

Loritt and the stylist shared a laugh.

"All right, all right. A real Abbot and Costello you two are, " First said. "How will you know what my hair is supposed to look like when you're done?"

"Actually, I've brought samples," Loritt set down his handheld and pressed an icon. Holographic images appeared of Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Angelina Jolie, and half a dozen other starlets from centuries past that were only now being carried to this part of space by long-forgotten radio waves.



This last one is especially bad. You have a chance to mention starlets from past centuries and only include ones that were famous in your own measly lifetime? AWFUL.
The average writeathon novel on royalroad.com is better than this.
 

DominusOdium

Come back, Liz Clarke
Forum Clout
35,669
Holy shit this was so bad, I had a tough time just reading your examples. How did writing like this ever get published?!
He found politically aligned people to shepherd him into rooms he wouldn't get into on talent. He's very good at bullshitting a certain type of person. There's a reason he appeared almost exclusively with Cat Rambo at events for years.
 

Udders

Great food
Forum Clout
47,152
I read 98% of Starship Repo and had to bail. It was a terrible slog and I didn't need to read how it ended, it was so predictable. The worst parts were his additions of contemporary movies, actors, social media, and musicians into the mix. Three examples:

Page 91:

"Aah!" First corrected. "Leave the Skeksis alone. She's not bothering you," First said. Before she'd left PCB, The Dark Crystal and other Jim Henson productions had come back into vogue once the Assembly archive had opened and mankind learned he'd actually been an alien refugee trapped on twentieth-century Earth after a navigation malfunction. He and David Bowie crash-landed on the same ship.

Page 113:

She stared, openmouthed, at the gossamer rings laid out like the ridges of a platinum record glinting in the sun, and on down to the crescent pearl of Mulos Minor at the center. It was breathtaking in every sense of the word.

That'd make one hell of an album cover, First thought.

Something - no, First corrected herself, someone - bumped into her from behind.

"Oh. My. Lords!" The red, segmented being exclaimed at First's face. "Your human cosplay is incredible!"

"Um, thanks?"

"The face, the skin tones, it must have taken forever!"

"About eighteen years, actually," First said. "But my parents helped some."

"Wow! Can I get a selfie?"

I'd prefer if you - "

Flash!

"Right."

"Thank you sooo much," the red alien in the absurdly long Wolverines onesie said as they inch-wormed away. "My followers will love this. You're amazing."

Page 264:

Loritt and the stylist shared a laugh.

"All right, all right. A real Abbot and Costello you two are, " First said. "How will you know what my hair is supposed to look like when you're done?"

"Actually, I've brought samples," Loritt set down his handheld and pressed an icon. Holographic images appeared of Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Angelina Jolie, and half a dozen other starlets from centuries past that were only now being carried to this part of space by long-forgotten radio waves.



This last one is especially bad. You have a chance to mention starlets from past centuries and only include ones that were famous in your own measly lifetime? AWFUL.
Dropping silly modern references into a sci-fi story constantly breaks the immersion of the world you're trying to build. I didn't make it past the first blurb you posted, it was that awful. No wonder his books are dogshit.
 

EraGodless

Forum Clout
49,829
I asked this before, has anyone really read his work? I know he's got some real corny and shallow puns like Fonald. But can someone critique his work as far as the plot and story goes? I'm sure it's garbage, but I'd like Owen's take on it.
I'll hang up and listen
Some brave souls read Starship Repo. I actually purchased it for retail price off of Amazon for the bit. It was intended as a bathroom reader. As many poops I would take a day, I never got past the first few pages. It was really bad- I would rather read the back of my bodywash bottles. It was so bad that I couldn't even read it ironically. Just complete dreck.
 
Last edited:

EraGodless

Forum Clout
49,829
Dropping silly modern references into a sci-fi story constantly breaks the immersion of the world you're trying to build. I didn't make it past the first blurb you posted, it was that awful. No wonder his books are dogshit.
I remember when I was teaching around 20 years ago (8th graders). I made a reference to Harry Houdini. No one in the class had any fucking clue about who I was talking about. But yeah, people hundreds of years in the future will totally understand the holograms of Katherine Hepburn, Angelina Jolie, and Sophia Loren- and definitely references to Laurel and Hardy. What a fucking dunce.
 

GloryHoleTorqueH

"Now put ice skates on dat bich." Peppermint
Forum Clout
7,708
New planet. New life.
Same old s#*@.


VQHixiz.jpg



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Harry Powell

Bruce is more helpful to Defendants than Plaintiff
Forum Clout
91,906
Someone pls contact her and find out if the book was taken. I need to know.
 

Steve Ramone

Forum Clout
17,689
I asked this before, has anyone really read his work? I know he's got some real corny and shallow puns like Fonald. But can someone critique his work as far as the plot and story goes? I'm sure it's garbage, but I'd like Owen's take on it.
I'll hang up and listen
I've tried, it's like reading upside down. He has no concept of how to write clearly and it actually gives me a headache trying to parse it.

I'm an avid reader of all kinds of things, including SciFi, so it's not like I can't read. No joke, he's probably the worst author to ever be published.
 

Steve Ramone

Forum Clout
17,689
I read 98% of Starship Repo and had to bail. It was a terrible slog and I didn't need to read how it ended, it was so predictable. The worst parts were his additions of contemporary movies, actors, social media, and musicians into the mix. Three examples:

Page 91:

"Aah!" First corrected. "Leave the Skeksis alone. She's not bothering you," First said. Before she'd left PCB, The Dark Crystal and other Jim Henson productions had come back into vogue once the Assembly archive had opened and mankind learned he'd actually been an alien refugee trapped on twentieth-century Earth after a navigation malfunction. He and David Bowie crash-landed on the same ship.

Page 113:

She stared, openmouthed, at the gossamer rings laid out like the ridges of a platinum record glinting in the sun, and on down to the crescent pearl of Mulos Minor at the center. It was breathtaking in every sense of the word.

That'd make one hell of an album cover, First thought.

Something - no, First corrected herself, someone - bumped into her from behind.

"Oh. My. Lords!" The red, segmented being exclaimed at First's face. "Your human cosplay is incredible!"

"Um, thanks?"

"The face, the skin tones, it must have taken forever!"

"About eighteen years, actually," First said. "But my parents helped some."

"Wow! Can I get a selfie?"

I'd prefer if you - "

Flash!

"Right."

"Thank you sooo much," the red alien in the absurdly long Wolverines onesie said as they inch-wormed away. "My followers will love this. You're amazing."

Page 264:

Loritt and the stylist shared a laugh.

"All right, all right. A real Abbot and Costello you two are, " First said. "How will you know what my hair is supposed to look like when you're done?"

"Actually, I've brought samples," Loritt set down his handheld and pressed an icon. Holographic images appeared of Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch, Angelina Jolie, and half a dozen other starlets from centuries past that were only now being carried to this part of space by long-forgotten radio waves.



This last one is especially bad. You have a chance to mention starlets from past centuries and only include ones that were famous in your own measly lifetime? AWFUL.
Oh. My. LORDS!
 
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