Pig finally bites and explains in detail how he'd neutralize me.

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

It's the "your threat will be neutralized in seconds, you will have no say or influence over the outcome" part that really solidifies phony action hero Pat. You need to land a perfect punch to properly knock someone out, usually when their guard is down and they're not defending themselves, or if they're under the influence of something that slows down reflexes.

But Mama Raven's Violent Boy has the strongest punch of all, you may think he's a geek that's into squeeeeing over Baby Yoda and painting models of toy dinosaurs, but stealthily he has a right hook that hits like Mike Tyson in the early 90s.

You can be a skinny little weak thing like Paul Weimer or a genetic freak like Brock Lesnar, everyone falls to the floor defeated after one Patrick Punch. There is nobody quicker, nobody stronger, nobody with the pinpoint striking accuracy of Patrick S Tomlinson, the world's most feared grappler. Then the cops arrive and don't arrest him because he's the victim.

He really believes it’s just like the movies when it comes to fighting, that he not only “neutralizes” a threat in seconds but also breaks many bones of the person he’s fighting and once he’s done showing off his skills the police just wait for him to be finished. Then when Pat gives the word the police walk in with the cuffs and load the beaten man into the back of a car while Pat orders then to “book em!” While the camera zooms out and the credits roll over a Foo Fighters song.

 

[Caverlock]

The fact that he brags about training Aikido and dismisses boxing as useless really says a lot.

He didn't even train Aikido, though.

 

[Harry Powell]

There's a word filter. Try typing out atalker beginning with an "S".

I really thought he said it, and I thought he was becoming meta for a minute or something

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

The fact that he brags about training Aikido and dismisses boxing as useless really says a lot.

He didn't even train Aikido, though.

If I remember right Aikido was what Steven Seagal specialized in which matches how Pat sees himself with these ridiculous tough guy claims. He seems himself in Out For Justice walking into a bar and taking everyone out with a pool cue and ball. Of course the only similarities between Seagal and Pat is they are both slow and fat.

 

[FLUUUID]

I hate that ive been going out of my way to type atalker when i could have just written stlaker

 

[Caverlock]

If I remember right Aikido was what Steven Seagal specialized in which matches how Pat sees himself with these ridiculous tough guy claims. He seems himself in Out For Justice walking into a bar and taking everyone out with a pool cue and ball. Of course the only similarities between Seagal and Pat is they are both slow and fat.

I'm guessing he "sparred" with MM Schill a few times.

Its applicability aside, someone who regularly trained Aikido would at least have extremely strong hands, wrists, and forearms, whereas Pat has dainty hands, slender wrists, and no discernible forearm musculature.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

What's next, he gets to fart in her vagina for a million?!

It was an off color remark. I'll demand his account is suspended.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

It brings me tremendous joy knowing what an internal struggle Patrick has when he gets a text from you. I can't imagine the stress on his already overworked heart as his blood pressure reaches a pounding crescendo and he succumbs to his impulses.

 

[guest]

I'm guessing he "sparred" with MM Schill a few times.

Its applicability aside, someone who regularly trained Aikido would at least have extremely strong hands, wrists, and forearms, whereas Pat has dainty hands, slender wrists, and no discernible forearm musculature.

With his arms folded, there's no evidence of even former muscularity in his forearm. Most men have some forearm muscle from youth sportsball games and work, neither of which he has done. He's like an 11 year old boy who didn't play sports from the shoulders to fingertips. Soft, mushy, homo.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Pats special move is calling the police and playing victim. Blackbelt in crybaby.

 

[guest]

Anyone else start reading his "Let me be perfectly clear... " statements and have a small rush at the expectation that this could be the time that he actually sees reality and offers a perfectly lucid answer? I get this moment where I sincerely believe he'll say "Look, I'm not interested in anything you have to say. Don't contact me again." but it's always "I'm going to spin-kick you through a window and the police will put you in prison while everyone cheers, atalker."

 

[FurBurger]

He keeps claiming that the people talking to him are mentally-ill obsessives that pose "a clear physical threat to [his] safety and that of my family [I assume he means "wife"].

And yet:

That threat will be neutralized in seconds, you will have no say or influence over the outcome.

...he assumes that none of these obsessives will have a firearm and the (obsessively-developed) skill to use it in a pre-meditated encounter.

Unless, of course, he knows that it's him on both sides of that text conversation, and so he's at no threat at all.

Hi, Pat. Remember to subpenis Quasi for this post, too - or better yet, get the cops to do it - otherwise people will know you're just Jussie Smolletting yourself.

 

[guest]

Anyone else start reading his "Let me be perfectly clear... " statements and have a small rush at the expectation that this could be the time that he actually sees reality and offers a perfectly lucid answer? I get this moment where I sincerely believe he'll say "Look, I'm not interested in anything you have to say. Don't contact me again." but it's always "I'm going to spin-kick you through a window and the police will put you in prison while everyone cheers, atalker."

I'm afraid I have chronically diminished expectations for the entire SJW community, so I never expect anything but "nasty cunt" from him.

 

[CuntFucker]

Pat would & should kick the shit out of covidcumia's dumb ass... what an annoying faggot boomer.

The moron sent me Joe Cumia tier buttblasted essays after being trolled, and is a bigger dipshit than either Joe or Patrick

 

[guest]

He talks as if we don’t have pictures and videos of him. We can see your flab covered twig arms and fat gut, dude. It’s not debatable.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

In a 1v1 street fight, boxing may not be the best because eventually you will tie up or wnd up on the ground, but it is significantly more effective than aikido. Aikido is more performative than dangerous. It features shit that may look “cool” in a 90s action movie, but if you start trying joint locks and redirections in a street fight, you will just bet fucking smashed by a hook and a kick to the groin or whatever. Knowing how to punch and slip punches effectively and maintain proper distancing is far more important than faggy Pat’s bullshit aikido. Aikido is closer to dance than it is to a fight. There is a reason people train in muay thai, boxing, BJJ, wrestling, judo, karate, etc. All of them have proven effectiveness in self defense. Even wing chun is more effective than aikido. Aikido is closer to tai chi. It’s a warm up and mental exercise in comparison to other actually effective martial arts.

 

[Harry Powell]

Patrick’s claim of “would be over before you knew what happened” means he either has vicious one-hit knock-out power, or more likely he is fantasizing that he will Vulkan Nerve Pinch you.

 

[Caverlock]

Listen to the ultimate ass kicker struggle to breathe as he looks at goslings:




"Gulp. Gasp. We're out on our walk and we just stumbled acrossT all these little goslings. Gulp. Wheeze. Gulp. They are so frickin' fuzzy. Gulp. Gulp."

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Can someone with skills change scorpion to Patrick? If you also want to change the color of the baby that would be great because we know he doesnt stick around white kids.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Listen to the ultimate ass kicker struggle to breathe as he looks at goslings:




"Gulp. Gasp. We're out on our walk and we just stumbled acrossT all these little goslings. Gulp. Wheeze. Gulp. They are so frickin' fuzzy. Gulp. Gulp."

He actually sounds retarded here.