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"Petty Revenge" stories

Mustard

i like big clit
Forum Clout
3,954
After I bought my first house, the nice old couple next door let their junky, drug addict son move in after a few months. This utter faggot would sit in the backyard, smoke darts, listen to depressing rock music and "practice bow hunting" with a shitty plastic bow and dart set. I couldn't come home from a fawkin long day swinging a hammer without hearing some faggot Puddle of Mudd song blasting off a cheap Bluetooth. When Halloween came around his routine stayed the same except he bought a smoke machine and put lights up in the backyard. FAGGOT. After a week I came home and he decided to wrap the lights around my fucking fence on my property. I told him I wanted them down or I was gonna cut them down, I didn't stop walking or even look in his direction, when I got to the door I said "30 minutes, retard." He didn't take them down so I grabbed my new Stihl weed whacker, and shredded them (don't worry about the fence, it was old and after I power washed the thing you couldn't even see the cuts and scratches from the line trimmer). He died of an OD a year or so later. GOOD
I bet you didnt actually tell him what to do. You probably said something like "please do it" without any badass ultimatum and then he didnt do it and years later you're telling everyone the above lies.

"First house" yeah, you were probably squatting.
 

DMbA

💢
Forum Clout
12,146
I use industrial superglue to glue faggy objects to my coworkers toolboxes to cause confusion, in-fighting and general directionless seethe. Kids toys usually do the trick, or gay girly tiny statues.

Another good bit is drawing caricatures of your coworkers having gay sex on the bathroom stalls.
wwaw putting your co workers stapler in jello
 

Africa.com

the REAL Roxbury Rick. Mustard STINKS
Forum Clout
25,360
I bet you didnt actually tell him what to do. You probably said something like "please do it" without any badass ultimatum and then he didnt do it and years later you're telling everyone the above lies.

"First house" yeah, you were probably squatting.
I never meant to imply I made a badass Fatrick statement, the guy was a spaced out white trash druggy it was more exasperation that this loser went out of his way to use my property for his gay shit. We openly didn't like each other but I liked his parents, even if they were naive codependents. Nice try wit da hate tho
 

Kinderman

I’m not a playa, I just rape a lot
Forum Clout
10,077
I posted this in the thread when he died, but I got one over on Aaron Carter.

In fourth grade, my fawkin chick broke up with me because I “wasn’t as hot as Aaron Carter.” 20 years later, he nodded off and drowned in the bathtub. I win.
 
Forum Clout
900
I have to go into work one day a week in the shithole slum called Downtown KCMO.

Pull into my usual paid parking lot and it is very full. Which is unusual post Plandemic.

See a bitch (know it was a woman and a negress by pattern recognition) double parked. Black Audi with the chainlink license plate surround.

Get pissed off that I have to park farther out in the parking lot due to this bitch.

Take out my matte long wearing wand lipstick and leave her a little message across her entire back windshield. Wrote "Double parked Cunt." Haven't seen her double parked since.
 

Pussymagnetpat

Not white.
Forum Clout
1,626
At a Houseparty senior year of highschool, a friend of a friend/ close acquaintance, like that guy you know from a different friend group, well he hooked up with my ex girlfriend.
granted, I had dumped her a few months back, didn't like her, but it was an ego thing.
so I snuck into his room upstairs in his parents mcmansion and scratched up all his ps3 games with car keys
 

Pussymagnetpat

Not white.
Forum Clout
1,626
My silver spoon roommate in college was one of those squares that didn't know how to buy weed- back when it was illegal, illegal state, etc. you had to have a plug.
I had a mason jar of 2 oz or so in my room, and was a heavy smoker, sold some on the side to frat brothers
He was just one of those guys that would smoke half a bowl and get retarded, watch family guy, eat and pass out- a real light weight.
Some friends of his from a nearby state school came to town one weekend and they all went out to party,
I got home from my shift as a pizza delivery driver at like 3 am and they were still out, I went into my room and found my mason jar tipped over with weed nugs spilled on the carpet everywhere,
- he obviously was hammered and figured he could just take some of my weed to smoke out his friends and it didn't matter in his head.. I had so much of it!-
but to me I saw it as this rich fuck that never worked a day in his life just taking my money
I went into his room and scrubbed his toothbrush on the toilet bowl, rubbed my asshole and balls on his pillow case, hawked some loogies in his milk, and probably some other stuff that I forget-
you could've just texted me and asked...Don't steal from me bitch.
 

Libby Son Of Loin

WACTIONABLY WEATENING S-S-SUE WIGHTNING
Forum Clout
110,700
I have to go into work one day a week in the shithole slum called Downtown KCMO.

Pull into my usual paid parking lot and it is very full. Which is unusual post Plandemic.

See a bitch (know it was a woman and a negress by pattern recognition) double parked. Black Audi with the chainlink license plate surround.

Get pissed off that I have to park farther out in the parking lot due to this bitch.

Take out my matte long wearing wand lipstick and leave her a little message across her entire back windshield. Wrote "Double parked Cunt." Haven't seen her double parked since.
Show us your tits
 

Uncle Floyd

It smells like cunt.... I think.....
Forum Clout
37,668
I have to go into work one day a week in the shithole slum called Downtown KCMO.

Pull into my usual paid parking lot and it is very full. Which is unusual post Plandemic.

See a bitch (know it was a woman and a negress by pattern recognition) double parked. Black Audi with the chainlink license plate surround.

Get pissed off that I have to park farther out in the parking lot due to this bitch.

Take out my matte long wearing wand lipstick and leave her a little message across her entire back windshield. Wrote "Double parked Cunt." Haven't seen her double parked since.
Parked over by that Grinders, yeah?
 

goo gobbler

UAlbany women's basketball fan
Forum Clout
5,950
I posted this in the thread when he died, but I got one over on Aaron Carter.

In fourth grade, my fawkin chick broke up with me because I “wasn’t as hot as Aaron Carter.” 20 years later, he nodded off and drowned in the bathtub. I win.
reminds me of getting banned from a forum back in the day. nigger mod was sassy when he banned me and a few years later i looked up the forum and saw a sticky commemorating him. he left behind a wife and kids 🤣

nice being a dead dad whose legacy was banning the goo man from a forum, stupid
 
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