Patrick's awkward use of simile. Just search any of his books for "like a "

[AntsBatteryCharge]

He stretched out on the couch like a garbage bag full of faggotty asshole deadbeat dads

 

[EraGodless]

b

“The silence stretched out like a rubber band”

this is the only one that isn’t completely shit in that whole list, IMO

But it is retarded

 

[MonsterSteve]

"and Nikki's vagina expanded, like Dizzy Gillespie's cheeks during one of his famous solos"

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

The ship's computer hummed like a fat man twittering about Nazi trolls at 2am

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Terrible. You can see from his writing that he’s a legitimate pants-shitting retard. Pat and Ugly Niki probably took one of his “books” to the social worker as evidence of his retardation so they could get their monthly retard disability check.

 

[guest]

A company gave him money for that. A small amount of money, but still. It’s not even funny, I’m just perplexed.

 

[Clint Ruin]

A company gave him money for that. A small amount of money, but still. It’s not even funny, I’m just perplexed.

I think people (if you can consider his fans and publisher people) are confusing "no one has ever made that comparison before, that must mean it's that clever" with "no one has ever made that comparison before because it's a terrible comparison, just stupid and nonsensical"

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

• "Even through the artificial gravity, something deep inside First’s inner ear felt the ship lunge forward like a politician with a campaign donation dangling in front of him."

EW

I didn't even read the rest of them I got such bone-rattling douche chills from that

 

[guest]

Anyone born after 1930 who calls films "flicks" should be executed.