Patrick “Now that we have money” Tomlinson has the nerve to comment on dental health

[SmellenShoehorn]

imagine being fiscally responsible your entire life and your lesbian daughter marries a half a fag who squanders and brags as if they've ever earned any type of real money.

Given his weight he should really be considered a fag-and-a-half

 

[Heyfellas]

I wonder if she had shit stained teeth because now that they’re rich she has piss stained teeth.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

That's what her teeth look like AFTER thousands of dollars of dental work?

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Next month it will be "Now that we don't have the money"

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

I truly believe Pig was sent to me by the universe to teach me to be a better man. I vow from this day forth to only speak of my loved ones in a way that paints them positively and I will never betray their trust by airing their personal business to strangers just to get attention. I swear on the Bible. I will be better than Pig.

I honestly figured this out by my third girlfriend, way back in high school. Patrick's only had two women in his life so maybe he'll figure it out on the third one. You do the whole Dice routine to pop the other guys in the locker room AYYY SHE SUCKED ME OFF LAST NIGHT LEFT MY GOO IN HER HAIR MADE HER SHAMPOO IT OUT! But then they can't keep their damn mouths shut and she loses trust in you, all for what? The "attaboy!" from a bunch of horny virgin 9th graders? By the third one, I just decide to go full vague E-Rock describing his screenplay:

"Hey you fucking her?" "We share an amazing connection, both spiritually and physically."

"Yeah but she's like sucking your dick, right?" "Our relationship has kinda evolved past the point of worrying about things like that."

But here's the thing, I enjoy withholding info as the vague E-Rock and decide I'm gonna do that the rest of my life... and nobody since then has inquired into the details of my sex life. Nobody has given me the "tell me more tell me more did you get very far" since those undersexed freshman who thought seeing a girl naked was the most important thing ever. Patrick is 41, married, and still craves the "attaboy" that comes with telling the world you fucked your wife in the Brewers parking lot. That you had sex the day before yesterday. That you had sex on your birthday. Who is impressed by admitting this other than the most pathetic of incels?

My point is Patrick would probably treat women better if he played a single after-school sport in high school. Now we're all recycling our best Rich Vos yuckmouth jokes because "well I'm perfect but let me share how fucked up my wife is" Patrick gives his cyberstalkers more ammunition to tease his wife. Niki's mom if you're reading this, DM me and we can have a frank but respectful conversation about your daughter's happiness.

 

[FLUUUID]

"Hey you fucking her?" "We share an amazing connection, both spiritually and physically."

"Yeah but she's like sucking your dick, right?" "Our relationship has kinda evolved past the point of worrying about things like that."

Homo

 

[Harry Powell]

I truly believe Pig was sent to me by the universe to teach me to be a better man. I vow from this day forth to only speak of my loved ones in a way that paints them positively and I will never betray their trust by airing their personal business to strangers just to get attention. I swear on the Bible. I will be better than Pig.

I’m not kidding when I say that Pigman and this place have made me a better person 500x over. He is the best cautionary tale you could ask for.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Fifteen years ago when I graduated from grad school, I set up a non-profit to honor a great big fat person friend who died (he past). I still volunteer weekly at it, teaching overweight and sedentary men (and sometimes women) how to run. Running is good for their health, but mainly I’m there to cheerlead and to believe in them when they don’t believe in themselves. Some guys run their first mile of their adult lives under my watch. It’s all about confidence and belief.

I am doubly proud of my bigger men since I met Patrick S Tomlinson. Every 300+ lb man who goes from walker to jogger to runner makes my heart burst with pride. I get shit all the time for crying because they’re strong, hard workers unlike Patrick. They’re able to work hard and succeed, unlike Pat, and I’m a proud Papa when I see that.

Thank you, Pat, for being such an ugly, fat slug. Your negative example makes my positive examples feel so much better. Post more selfies!!

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Fifteen years ago when I graduated from grad school, I set up a non-profit to honor a great big fat person friend who died (he past). I still volunteer weekly at it, teaching overweight and sedentary men (and sometimes women) how to run. Running is good for their health, but mainly I’m there to cheerlead and to believe in them when they don’t believe in themselves. Some guys run their first mile of their adult lives under my watch. It’s all about confidence and belief.

I am doubly proud of my bigger men since I met Patrick S Tomlinson. Every 300+ lb man who goes from walker to jogger to runner makes my heart burst with pride. I get shit all the time for crying because they’re strong, hard workers unlike Patrick. They’re able to work hard and succeed, unlike Pat, and I’m a proud Papa when I see that.

Thank you, Pat, for being such an ugly, fat slug. Your negative example makes my positive examples feel so much better. Post more selfies!!

Turn them gay once they're thin and you could call it the Make-a-Swish Foundation

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Turn them gay once they're thin and you could call it the Make-a-Swish Foundation

BOOM! That’s hilarious.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

"Yeah, my wife's mouth is all fucked up too, like yours is."

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Good thing pat came along with his fortune and picked her up out of the gutter.