Patrick is desperate and his next move is to entrap or pull a false flag

[Clint Ruin]

I intended to read one of his books all the way through a while ago, ya know, for da bit.

Gave up on the first page. His writing is legitimately that bad.

Whoever told him he could write dialogue was playing a mean joke on him. All his characters talk like him, and he doesn't talk like a real person. I don't know how people get past the first page, all I would think the whole time is that people don't talk like that

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I’m expecting someone to pop up with the username “killfatrick88heilhitler” suggesting we use the dark web to hire a hitman any day now.

"I believe the term used in the criminal underworld is 'fat works'"

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

Join date: September 9, 2021

View attachment 8311

Patrick Book Club is my fucking bit. *sniff*

 

[guest]

Here's a bit idea...We take one of his simpler books (like Starship Repo), and we re-write it with better plot, different character names, and different title. We self-publish it and make ourselves more famous than Patrick.

Who's in?

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Whoever told him he could write dialogue was playing a mean joke on him. All his characters talk like him, and he doesn't talk like a real person. I don't know how people get past the first page, all I would think the whole time is that people don't talk like that

President Frump looked at the sexy, lithe 12 year old Captain Kamala. It’s ok to call a child sexy because space.

“Kamala, you’re finished, I’ve trapped you. Muahahaha!”

Kamala smiled to herself and pushed the magic button that she had in her pocket. It wasn’t mentioned yet in the story, but she’s had it all along. A wormhole opened up and Frump flew into space and exploded.

“No, Fronald Lump, YOU’RE finished. Just like the Space Patriarchy!”

Everyone cheered and clapped, especially the gay caterpillar who was fucking the trans space dolphin. Then they had beer in space, but special anti-gravity beer.

-THE END-

PS- Send my Nebula Award to Niki. She needs something other than farts to shove up her rotten old twat.

 

[Clint Ruin]

Here's a bit idea...We take one of his simpler books (like Starship Repo), and we re-write it with better plot, different character names, and different title. We self-publish it and make ourselves more famous than Patrick.

Who's in?

It's the inverse of what he does, take Douglas Adams and, to a larger degree, lift entire parts of The Expanse and other SyFy network shows, and dumb them down to on-the-nose unclever "satire" and shitty sex-pat banter that shows he's never successfully flirted with a woman.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Here's a bit idea...We take one of his simpler books (like Starship Repo), and we re-write it with better plot, different character names, and different title. We self-publish it and make ourselves more famous than Patrick.

Who's in?

The make chicken salad out of chicken shit challenge

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

The make chicken salad out of chicken shit challenge

fuckin' starvin'.... earl, we got any chicken salad made from chicken shit back there?

 

[Tortfeasor]

He's too stupid to not have a username like "scum stlaker" and a flair that gives it away instantly.

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=youtube]R_CulXfKuGY[/MEDIA]

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

President Frump looked at the sexy, lithe 12 year old Captain Kamala. It’s ok to call a child sexy because space.

“Kamala, you’re finished, I’ve trapped you. Muahahaha!”

Kamala smiled to herself and pushed the magic button that she had in her pocket. It wasn’t mentioned yet in the story, but she’s had it all along. A wormhole opened up and Frump flew into space and exploded.

“No, Fronald Lump, YOU’RE finished. Just like the Space Patriarchy!”

Everyone cheered and clapped, especially the gay caterpillar who was fucking the trans space dolphin. Then they had beer in space, but special anti-gravity beer.

-THE END-

Quasi finally got out from under one lawsuit, now you want to open him up to a copyright lawsuit? You can't just cut/paste long sections of Pat's books and give Pat an in.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I’m expecting someone to pop up with the username “killfatrick88heilhitler” suggesting we use the dark web to hire a hitman any day now.

That's a great username.

 

[JumboYumYums]

The problem with giving out his books for free is that nobody is willing to read them

I couldn't even complete one of his books and I honestly (would tell you if I didnt) tried.

Fucking space mcdonalds jesus christ

His books are shittier than I expected and I'm not just saying that because I hate him, they're fucking terrible. You can see a preview of "In The Black" on google books free of charge: https://www.google.co.uk/books/edit...=1&dq=patrick+s+tomlinson&printsec=frontcover

Try reading that first paragraph in the prologue without your thoughts quickly turning to self-harm.

 

[guest]

Two people started writing reviews of In The Black at the same time. They both gave up quickly. I have it on good authority that one of them hoped the other person would continue so he wouldn't have to, but still, how shitty are books that even your avowed enemies can't be bothered?

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

What? I missed this. I thought someone made a bit account

I don't have a screenshot but can summarize it. It was during that weird time where the old forum was down (before the move to forum) and everybody was all posting on that shitty white page. It was around the 1st CA trial.

At some point, someone with the username "TheRealKyleTomlinson" posted a thread saying that Pat had always been "different," his family always tried to respect how he wanted to live his life, he was going to have a rough year, declared that the forum won, asked for people to lay off, and that he was never going to reach out again.

That was basically it. Someone else may have a screenshot but unfortunately I didn't save one.

 

[guest]

He'd try, he's just too damn stupid to pull it off. That's why his brother showed up after the first CA hearing asking everybody to lay off.

Wait, do you think that was really his brother?

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I don't have a screenshot but can summarize it. It was during that weird time where the old forum was down (before the move to forum) and everybody was all posting on that shitty white page. It was around the 1st CA trial.

At some point, someone with the username "TheRealKyleTomlinson" posted a thread saying that Pat had always been "different," his family always tried to respect how he wanted to live his life, he was going to have a rough year, declared that the forum won, asked for people to lay off, and that he was never going to reach out again.

That was basically it. Someone else may have a screenshot but unfortunately I didn't save one.

At the time nobody believed it but, since Pat immediately denied it, chances are it was really him.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Wait, do you think that was really his brother?

I remember thinking that it may have been him, there were no signs of it being a joke. He basically showed up, told everybody to stop, didn't spend any time trying to reason with anybody and left.

For someone asking people to lay off his mentally ill brother, who was in the middle of a doomed lawsuit, he spent about 30 seconds trying to help out before he hit the bricks forever. Seemed like a very Tomlinson thing to do.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I remember thinking that it may have been him, there were no signs of it being a joke. He basically showed up, told everybody to stop, didn't spend any time trying to reason with anybody and left.

For someone asking people to lay off his mentally ill brother, who was in the middle of a doomed lawsuit, he spent about 30 seconds trying to help out before he hit the bricks forever. Seemed like a very Tomlinson thing to do.

It checks out, he doesn’t seem to be much of a fan of his fat brother. They’re adults in their early 40s and Pat still refers to him as his little brother as a way to put him down. They rarely ever get together and it’s not like Pat is so busy he can’t find the time. If it was him he figured “I’ll try” but wasn’t going to put much effort into it, probably just to make his parents happy. “Well Mom, I did what I could, but you know fat, I mean Pat…”

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Someone went on KF and said, to paraphrase:

“hello fellow teens! Not a firebrand here, I was wondering if we could copy all of Patrick’s award-winning novels and share them here. You know, for the goof? Anyway if you do please post them here and send me your name and address so I can thank you!”

It didn’t work. Pat’s too retarded to trick anyone.

Im cracking up at the idea of Patrick coming here and making suggestions, while we all reply “No man, relax. That would be illegal”