New Pat pet lore - Boo the cat

[SmellenShoehorn]

Mama Raven named it Jigaboo because it was a black cat, Rick toned it down for Twitter consumption

"The cat loved Brazil nuts so much, I would always spend my allowance getting a bag of them for him and my mother would complain that I was spending my money as if I were wealthy when I was not"

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

His lies are so stupid and blatant. The world's largest owl species is the Blakiston's fish owl and its wingspan is "up to 2 meters" (~6 feet) according to Scientific American. A barn owl is like 1/3 the size.

World's Largest Owl Needs Equally Large Trees and Forests (But It's More Complex Than That)

With a body the size of a small child and a wingspan of up to two meters, the Blakiston’s fish owl (Bubo blakistoni) is the largest owl in the world.

blogs.scientificamerican.com

And beaver traps are meant to capture and hold beavers, which are like 3 times the size of a house cat. The traps are moored to keep the beaver from escaping. There's no way his stupid dead cat carried the trap a quarter of a mile.

 

[captainjapan]

It was a full mile atalker, in six feet of snow child

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

His lies are so stupid and blatant. The world's largest owl species is the Blakiston's fish owl and its wingspan is "up to 2 meters" (~6 feet) according to Scientific American. A barn owl is like 1/3 the size.

World's Largest Owl Needs Equally Large Trees and Forests (But It's More Complex Than That)

With a body the size of a small child and a wingspan of up to two meters, the Blakiston’s fish owl (Bubo blakistoni) is the largest owl in the world.

blogs.scientificamerican.com

And beaver traps are meant to capture and hold beavers, which are like 3 times the size of a house cat. The traps are moored to keep the beaver from escaping. There's no way his stupid dead cat carried the trap a quarter of a mile.

"You see, they're moored..."

 

[Gay Faggot.]

This is true. He just embellished a little bit. The cats name was Jon and he got trapped in Ades beaver. She followed him home.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

You know what's an "absolute unit" you faggot? Beavers. My buddy and I were kayak fishing this summer and we were watching this huge beaver eat apples on the bank. When it came back into the water we were both like "oh fuck" and started paddling away. You could see a bunch of bubbles coming towards my kayak and I was sure I was gonna get flipped and fucked up by a beaver. It ended up popping up and slapping it's tail on the water RIGHT beside my buddy's kayak. He's a tough dude and I've never seen him as visibly shaken as he was by that.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Even his cat was a fucking fat faggot

 

[captainjapan]

Couple of water queers scared of beaver

 

[42069]

I live near a predatory bird sanctuary. This weekend I will try to get there to ask an expert and film it

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

You know what's an "absolute unit" you faggot? Beavers. My buddy and I were kayak fishing this summer and we were watching this huge beaver eat apples on the bank. When it came back into the water we were both like "oh fuck" and started paddling away. You could see a bunch of bubbles coming towards my kayak and I was sure I was gonna get flipped and fucked up by a beaver. It ended up popping up and slapping it's tail on the water RIGHT beside my buddy's kayak. He's a tough dude and I've never seen him as visibly shaken as he was by that.

apparently beavers are good eatin though. according to the MeatEaters youtube channel. which is not gay despite it's association with Joe Rogaine

 

[guest]

How odd - he had Boo the cat, and now he has boobs and is fat.

Get this nigga a book deal with Tor. I hear they give out advances to anyone who is at least half a fag.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

One time a prisoner broke out the county prison. Real nasty fellow who liked arguing with girls and would let his fists do the talkin. Well, soon as ol Boo heard the radio report he went out looking for him. Cover your sister's ears chile, I don't want her to hear this bit. Well, when it got dark and the crickets started a hollerin ol Boo came back. God strike me down if I'm a liar but that cat had man's arm in his mouth! Sherriff done said that jailbird must have fled north. Well, I reckon me and Boo knew different.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

his cat inspired his comedy 'career'

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Why the fuck would you make that up about a cat? He’s so deranged. It’s getting tiresome to read lol. Might have to take a Pat break and just post Joseph Cumia’s retardation for a few days