Marathon Idea: Turning a Fat Cheater Into A Good Cause

[CarolMaxheinie]

Hi all

I had a lovely 12 mile tempo run today. I was thinking about ways to take Pat’s horrible and useless life and make something constructive out of his failures. I thought about something I did at MIT for my first Bostom Marathon and wanted to gauge interest.

For the 2022 Brewers Mini Marathon, I’m interested in approaching the organizers about a fundraiser where I would start last and gauge how many people I pass before I finish. Catching and passing fat losers like Pat would be easy…looking at past years I could pass 85% of the field.

If 2000 entrants participate that means crop-dusting ~1700 runners. At a nickel per runner passed I estimate each donor would give $85, so 100 donors is $8500 or so. This money should go to young women whose fathers abandoned them, or perhaps a battered womens’ shelter. Another option is to use it to raise money for Quasi, but we’d want to couch it in a non-specific way such as free speech defense.

This is running long, but I wanted to add that I would wear a red Mustang hoodie with “goodbye, child” written on the back. Inside joke.

Thoughts?

 

[ThePepsiColaRapist]

Would you consider holding Patrick Dollinson above your head like the olympic torch?

 

[Meownaw]

But I thought this place was a den of cyber terrorists who use cruelty like a video game. Pat would be livid. Go for it brothaman.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Would you consider holding Patrick Dollinson above your head like the olympic torch?

Absolutely!! Dollinson would run the whole thing with me, yelling at the white male runners to “do better” and childing the rest of them when they displeased him.

 

[CanISitOnJonsLap]

The moment you step off the airplane you'd get arrested for felonious charity marathon organizing and then at your trial you won't be allowed to speak because you have nothing to say.

 

[UnwarrantedArrogance2]

Hi all
I was thinking about ways to take Pat’s horrible and useless life

Felonious death threat. REPORTED

 

[Clint Ruin]

Hi all

I had a lovely 12 mile tempo run today. I was thinking about ways to take Pat’s horrible and useless life and make something constructive out of his failures. I thought about something I did at MIT for my first Bostom Marathon and wanted to gauge interest.

For the 2022 Brewers Mini Marathon, I’m interested in approaching the organizers about a fundraiser where I would start last and gauge how many people I pass before I finish. Catching and passing fat losers like Pat would be easy…looking at past years I could pass 85% of the field.

If 2000 entrants participate that means crop-dusting ~1700 runners. At a nickel per runner passed I estimate each donor would give $85, so 100 donors is $8500 or so. This money should go to young women whose fathers abandoned them, or perhaps a battered womens’ shelter. Another option is to use it to raise money for Quasi, but we’d want to couch it in a non-specific way such as free speech defense.

This is running long, but I wanted to add that I would wear a red Mustang hoodie with “goodbye, child” written on the back. Inside joke.

Thoughts?

Please post this on your insta so that Rick sees it the next time he unblocks you to lurk more

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Please post this on your insta so that Rick sees it the next time he unblocks you to lurk more

Done! I put up an IG story about it, soliciting charity ideas. I don’t have time to read the replies but you can see an inch of my jock strap so I’ll get 1000+ responses from thirsty men and women.

 

[NoBacon]

Can you promise you won’t use the same tactics you exposed pig for cheating with?

 

[NoBacon]

Excellent idea, I’d donate to such a worthy cause.

Wouldn’t be surprised if he finally snaps and tries to run you down in the crowd with his mustang like Charlottesville

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

Excellent idea, I’d donate to such a worthy cause.

Wouldn’t be surprised if he finally snaps and tries to run you down in the crowd with his mustang like Charlottesville

He will most likely try to sabotage this

Dont take a Gatorade cup from anyone who looks like an unshaven catfish

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

His lies about being a marathon runner discouraged others from taking it on because not only did he brag about it while he continued to put on weight, he also used it as a way to attack and belittle others. He was smearing the reputation of the entire running community by being a fish-mouthed douchebag and liar. Yet here is one of his cyber terrorists, righting his wrongs.

The world is lucky to have you Carol. Feed Nana, now and forever.

 

[Harry Powell]

Of course I would contribute. I’ve actually been thinking about running it. We should make it an annual activity. Everyone just run it anonymously.

After Patso shoots you at the finish line next year, we can continue to run it as a memorial fundraiser for kid’s fat camps in your honor.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Felony donation of thousands of dollars to a good cause , stlaker

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

…not only did he brag about it while he continued to put on weight, he also used it as a way to attack and belittle others. He was smearing the reputation of the entire running community by being a fish-mouthed douchebag and liar.

Thank you for putting it better than I could.

Waaayyy back when I was a Joe Cumia critic and Fatso first came to my attention, I thought he was just some dumbass rube with an inflated ego. I was right, but then I saw his shitty attitude about running. NO runner would ever say “what’s your PB, sweetie?”. NOBODY does that. It immediately gave him away as a fake. Then I saw the shirtless selfies and it was clear he couldn’t jog more than a mile, and the rest is history.

 

[Will Tate]

I ran cross-country in high school and there's a small part of me that always wanted to run the Boston Marathon just to say I did, final time be damned. But these days I'm just a weak-willed old man with an open heart surgery under his belt who still doesn't have the wherewithal to quit smoking and drinking like a filthy degenerate. But shit, if I can I'd walk the 26 miles to fly the flag and raise money for a worthy cause.
Carol, you ever decide to start side hustle as a personal trainer who'll rape your asshole if you step out of line, hit me up.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

something I did at MIT for my first Bostom Marathon

Taught the Tsarnaev brothers a thing or two about how pressure cookers work?

 

[guest]

Get one of those inflatable sumo suits and a $50 $5 haircut.

 

[FurBurger]

Wouldn’t be surprised if he finally snaps and tries to run you down in the crowd with his mustang like Charlottesville

...which leads to a tricky decision - do you get a restraining order against this "armed drunk with anger issues"* who's forbidden to see his daughter... ...or do you challenge him to a race? The guy's been running half-marathons for a decade, surely he's up to a full one by now? You could even give yourself a time penalty to make it more fair.

I'm definitely in, though - just let us know when and how to donate. I'd suggest nobody donate under silly names, no Nigels, as I suspect that if Fatrick has a penny left by the time of the race he'll try and subpoena the donor list, and you don't want to stand out.

Also, if you're reading this Rick - remember that you've told the court that all of your harassers are also in Wisconsin, so make sure you scope your request for names to just this great state of ours, otherwise you'll be admitting you lied to the court and they have sanctions for that (it's called "contempt of court").

* That "armed drunk with anger issues" is based on Pat's social media, so sue him, Brinton.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Taught the Tsarnaev brothers a thing or two about how pressure cookers work?

I was supposed to be at that race but was working in Bucharest. Terrible day. I cried.