Lies youve told to get laid

[guest]

This girl I met a couple weeks ago told me she has a young daughter....so I lied and said I had one the same age (i dont) and made up all this shit because I was drunk, making up conversation and thought it'd help me get laid...we've hung out a couple times and whenever she asks about my daughter I just change the subject ...now I'm ignoring her.

She was PFG, I shouldn't have been such a Tomlinson.

I'll also sometimes just tell a girl I just met that I spent 2 years on a motorcycle traveling the USA to make myself look cool and adventurous. What a faggot.

 

[TheNanaDook]

I’ve told a couple of skanks with kids that i don’t mind that they have kids. It wasn’t technically lying, but i left off the last part which is “So long as we never seriously date and i never have to meet them”

 

[Carl Winslow]

That I’m a good guy and mentally stable.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

That I'm interested in their stories and find them funny and charming.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I always pretend to work in finance even though I’m drinking at a dive bar. “I handle acquisitions and mergers. Stuff like that.”

 

[fenrir]

Tell them I'm straight (lie) and when I can't get a hardon, I say it's because their pussy stinks (just a coincidence).

 

[satanssockpuppet]

I don't think I've ever gotten laid without telling a lie at some point in the process. I mean, how would I otherwise?

 

[The Greaseman]

No lies only truth, stlaker

 

[Uncle Floyd]

That I don't have genital warts.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

No one said “I love you” yet?

 

[johnnynoname]

"It's a pleasure to meet you"

 

[Uncle Floyd]

No one said “I love you” yet?

I always love them. Problem is I stop after we fuck.

 

[Wa4892]

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

View attachment 87781

If I ever met Margot Robbie I would handcuff her viciously rape her and fill every hole on her body with cum then tell the police a nigger did it (they would believe me because cops hate niggers)

 

[guest]

"Yes, it is loaded now shut the fuck up."

 

[guest]

I drunkenly told a girl that Seth Rogen was my cousin and was looking to put me in something soon. A friend of mine told her I was lying later on, but not before she puffed on my prick. Women are stupid.

 

[guest]

I drunkenly told a girl that Seth Rogen was my cousin and was looking to put me in something soon. A friend of mine told her I was lying later on, but not before she puffed on my prick. Women are stupid.

Do you look like a fat Jew?

 

[guest]

Do you look like a fat Jew?

Not at all. And nevermind the fact that I'm not from Canada. She seemed to think that because I could do a passable impression of him, I must be telling the truth.

 

[guest]

Not at all. And nevermind the fact that I'm not from Canada. She seemed to think that because I could do a passable impression of him, I must be telling the truth.

Did you do his retarded laugh when you shot your load in her mouth? Please tell me you did.

 

[guest]

Did you do his retarded laugh when you shot your load in her mouth? Please tell me you did.

No, I wish. I did do it as part of the impression, while double fisting cans of Keystone Light like a classy man.