- Forum Clout
- 55,302
Should have kept the first ending to Clerks. Nice sticking to your vision, stupid.
-
Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
[email protected]
Kevin Smith Hate Thread
- Thread starter DMAN
- Start date
- Forum Clout
- 20,323
I'm embarrassed that I remember Dogma as a fun movie. I watched it 10+ years ago and found it entertaining.
- Forum Clout
- 8,093
She has PCOS. That condition makes chicks grow a lot of facial hair. Full beards, in some cases. I knew a chick that had it and she had to shave every day and you could even see a five o’clock shadow on her some days.
- Forum Clout
- 11,122
She’ll be more of a man than her dad then
- Forum Clout
- 19,579
Where we at with big parts of Clerks not holding up well? This kind of stuff doesn't even make a brothaman smirk.
Also, what's up with the artsy random title cards? Vagary. Malaise. Perspicacity. That faggot be pretending they tie into the scenes somehow, and that he didn't intentionally look up difficult words in a lexicon.
I still enjoy the movie overall, but it's no masterpiece. And it's supposed to be his one redeeming thing.
Also, what's up with the artsy random title cards? Vagary. Malaise. Perspicacity. That faggot be pretending they tie into the scenes somehow, and that he didn't intentionally look up difficult words in a lexicon.
I still enjoy the movie overall, but it's no masterpiece. And it's supposed to be his one redeeming thing.
- Forum Clout
- 53,333
As bad as his wife was in "Strike Back", she was ABOMINABLE in "Clerks 2". I saw it in a theater and people were openly laughing at how terrible she was. And "Jay And Silent Bob Reboot" was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, bar none.
- Forum Clout
- 32,334
That semi-ironic artsiness might've been refreshing back in the mid-90s maaahn, but it already felt very dated when I watched the film for the first time 15 years ago.
The part of Clerks 1 that still holds up is the mundane banter, it grinds to a fucking halt smack in the middle of cringeville whenever Smith decides to use one of his characters as a mouthpiece for one of his half-profound, half-lolsorandom monologues.
- Forum Clout
- 46,912
They are comedy movies but thanks for being the forum hall monitor.
According to who? He sucks uneblievably, but I still like his shit out of nostalgia.
Clerks 2 was a good movie. The shittiest parts of his movies are when they make gay references/reenactments of other movies.
If you like Kevin Smith it's always with an asterisk.
- Forum Clout
- 208,685
Hey I was just implying his movies aren't funny. No disrespect.
- Forum Clout
- 9,000
I heard Linda Fiorentino was a huge cunt on the set of Dogma if it makes you feel any better. Considering that she had the lead role in the movie means she probably ruined the whole experience for him which makes me very happy.
- Forum Clout
- 50,435
He discussed it openly on the commentary - which is often considered another big no-no in Hollywood.
Funny thing is, he could've gone with Gwyneth Paltrow for Fiorentino's role, and passed her up. I could care less about Paltrow as a person, she's a dingbat, but she's a very passable actress, and when she gives a Fuck, she's kinda charming. Fiorentino couldn't have been more deadpan if she was imitating Steven Wright.
G
guest
Guest
There are certain things in movies that completely take me out of the movie because they're so awful. One of them is when someone is smoking in a movie but they don't inhale. It's distracting and it takes me away from the movie. Another thing is when they make suppressors and silencers on a gun sound like a grape hitting a silk pillow. There is no such thing as a suppressor that will do that.
The number one offender though, and the reason I hate Kevin Smith movies so much is obviously written dialogue. His movie seem to take place in a world where nobody has staircase wit. Even the most retarded of characters are the most funny, witty and well spoken people. Every time they have a response it's always the greatest off the cuff comeback you could ever hear. It's almost as if somebody sat there and rewrote it over and over and over and over again.
There is a scene in Boogie Nights that I love so much because little bill says "my wife is down there in the driveway with some guys ass in her cock!" He meant to say with some guys cock in her ass, but because people really do make mistakes in life when they talk, especially when they're upset they left that in the movie. And it sounded way more legitimate that way because he made that error.
TL;DR: Kevin Smith is a fat faggot who writes dialogue that no human being would ever speak.
The number one offender though, and the reason I hate Kevin Smith movies so much is obviously written dialogue. His movie seem to take place in a world where nobody has staircase wit. Even the most retarded of characters are the most funny, witty and well spoken people. Every time they have a response it's always the greatest off the cuff comeback you could ever hear. It's almost as if somebody sat there and rewrote it over and over and over and over again.
There is a scene in Boogie Nights that I love so much because little bill says "my wife is down there in the driveway with some guys ass in her cock!" He meant to say with some guys cock in her ass, but because people really do make mistakes in life when they talk, especially when they're upset they left that in the movie. And it sounded way more legitimate that way because he made that error.
TL;DR: Kevin Smith is a fat faggot who writes dialogue that no human being would ever speak.
- Forum Clout
- 46,912
Yeah but you just described scriptwriting.
I think what you're more saying is he writes every single character in his own voice and gives them his own traits...
ROSARIO DAWSON is not managing a fast food restaurant, and she's not having witty banter with the 50 year old "bachelors."
G
guest
Guest
Yes but there's a difference between good script writing and bad script writing. When the dialogue sounds fake and unbelievable, you aren't doing it right. His movies are the only ones where the dialogue is out of place and sounds overly written.
Yes, and thank you for saying that because I was trying to think of it but couldn't articulate it. He writes every character with the same emotions and point of view that he has, except he writes everybody way too intelligently. That's where the unbelievable dialogue comes in. Nobody who's working at a fast food restaurant in their forties speak that articulately, witty and have snappy comebacks that quickly. Maybe if he limited it to one character per movie like Brody in mallrats or Randall and clerks it would make sense. But EVERY character saying the funniest joke possible every single time off the cuff? It sounds fake as hell.
Exactly.
- Forum Clout
- 46,912
I can't disagree, even as a kid I recognized his almost Seinfeld shtick, it's repetitive and does in fact make me bite my own teeth *sniff*
You can probably imagine Kevin sitting there laboring over the script, "yeah people are going to say this movie is all killer no filler" Then he writes an early 20s woman to argue like a 40 year old comic book guy.
Kevin Smith fans are like The Big Lebowski people who dress up and make people call them The Dude.
G
guest
Guest
I mean if you want to write an amazing comeback to something, do it once or twice per movie. I can picture him waking up at 3am going "no no this would sound WAY better!" At every piece of dialogue in his script.
- Forum Clout
- 46,912
I like his movies out of nostalgia, and even then I cringe at his silent acting, which you know he studied and practiced in the mirror like a psycho.
He has become so pretentious and eager to be seen as positive. Probably smoked himself schizo. People who smoke weed care too much about how they're being perceived, now add that to the fact that he thinks he's Marcel Marceau brilliant silent actor. What an asshole.
He has become so pretentious and eager to be seen as positive. Probably smoked himself schizo. People who smoke weed care too much about how they're being perceived, now add that to the fact that he thinks he's Marcel Marceau brilliant silent actor. What an asshole.
G
guest
Guest
Weed is what REALLY fucked up his movies. I mean the old ones weren't anything outstanding that belong in the criterion collection or anything, but at least they were okay. I mean Dogma was actually an alright movie.
But then he started smoking pot and got involved with people like Seth Rogen, and started making movies like tusk. Yech.
Fuck out of here with that garbage.
G
guest
Guest
My ex used to write like this when she was super addicted to Xanax...
- Forum Clout
- 53,333
And like everyone who smokes too much weed, he marvels over absolutely everything like it's the most incredible piece of art he's ever seen. And his movies clearly devolved after he started smoking weed all day...Tusk, Yoga Hosers, and that atrocious Reboot, which was obviously the "work" of someone stoned out of his gourd.