Just a bunch of pros working the Craft

[satanssockpuppet]

Patrice O'Neal's 3 talking points:

Romance: "see what you gots to be doing, is you got to be treating these bitches like shit." That's not profound advice, Patreeky. That's literally how every nigger has treated their woman since the dawn of time. And how did that work out for you? The second you died your "soldier" used your name to make every penny she could.

Racism: "all white people be racist." His goofy racial shtick made him a black(er) Ant. Poor little nigger thinks the system be unfair.

Conspiracy theory nigger: actually AMAZING stuff even if most of it wasn't true. Unfortunately Jim always chimed in and made it unlistenable. God damn I hate Norton so fucking much.



Speaking of Norton the only good thing about that video was that he got called out right in front of Colin: "that stupid voice you have in the tape is your real voice". I love that they played it off for laughs, but Jim really did steal a bunch of his personality from Colin. The gruffer voice, the sweetie child baby boy, the fake alcoholism, anything to be more like Daddy Quinn. Too bad he didn't steal being funny or entertaining from him.

I always liked Patrice, but IMO part of his charm was the absurdity of an obese failure of a man dispensing life advice like he was the black Ben Franklin or something. Few people were less qualified to pontificate on anything than Patrice was. In that sense, he really did fit in with The Gang perfectly, because they're all that way.

 

[Chapel]

Just wear a wig and go fuck him to death.

Or wear a wig and you could piss on him before he dies

 

[guest]

Or wear a wig and you could piss on him before he dies

DOPE.

 

[DieNortonDie]

Patrice O'Neal's 3 talking points:

Romance: "see what you gots to be doing, is you got to be treating these bitches like shit." That's not profound advice, Patreeky. That's literally how every nigger has treated their woman since the dawn of time. And how did that work out for you? The second you died your "soldier" used your name to make every penny she could.

Racism: "all white people be racist." His goofy racial shtick made him a black(er) Ant. Poor little nigger thinks the system be unfair.

Conspiracy theory nigger: actually AMAZING stuff even if most of it wasn't true. Unfortunately Jim always chimed in and made it unlistenable. God damn I hate Norton so fucking much.



Speaking of Norton the only good thing about that video was that he got called out right in front of Colin: "that stupid voice you have in the tape is your real voice". I love that they played it off for laughs, but Jim really did steal a bunch of his personality from Colin. The gruffer voice, the sweetie child baby boy, the fake alcoholism, anything to be more like Daddy Quinn. Too bad he didn't steal being funny or entertaining from him.

Norton always toed the government’s line with 9/11 and Iraq. He and Anthony are unlistenable when they talk about it because of how much they just repeated bush era propaganda

 

[DieNortonDie]

He really was just a dumb motherfucker on OnA. Remember when he said everyone on the internet should have to use their real name?

That was the only original thought Norton ever had. That is such a common sentiment now thanks to Facebook. Norton really was the first to voice such a faggy and wrong opinion

 

[Sputnik]

Imagine you are new to stand-up and you find yourself opening at the cellar. A step up from where you've been and it's got you a little nervous. You walk in to find some of the cellar's most notorious comedians gathered and riffing with each other. The roasts of legend. Hoping to sneak by you make yourself as small as possible, alas you are snagged. (INSERT HACK CELLAR COMIC HERE) "Nice shirt, stupid."

Followed by roars of laughter from the surrounding bums.

This was the room no "civilian" could stand to be in.

 

[guest]

Imagine you are new to stand-up and you find yourself opening at the cellar. A step up from where you've been and it's got you a little nervous. You walk in to find some of the cellar's most notorious comedians gathered and riffing with each other. The roasts of legend. Hoping to sneak by you make yourself as small as possible, alas you are snagged. (INSERT HACK CELLAR COMIC HERE) "Nice shirt, stupid."

Followed by roars of laughter from the surrounding bums.

This was the room no "civilian" could stand to be in.

Look I'm not the prettiest girl at the prom but I know I'm not going home empty-handed, so as a moderately good looking person I can confidently say this: if you can't satisfactory shit talk to a group of people that ugly, fat, pathetic and obscure, you have no business being in a comedy club, because that makes you literally the most unfunny motherfucker in the world.

On appearance and weight alone you should be able to destroy Patrice and Jim. They wouldn't even be softballing it in. That's so easy it's like being hit by a pitch. All you have to do is walk to the fucking base.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Patrice O'Neal's 3 talking points:

Romance: "see what you gots to be doing, is you got to be treating these bitches like shit." That's not profound advice, Patreeky. That's literally how every nigger has treated their woman since the dawn of time. And how did that work out for you? The second you died your "soldier" used your name to make every penny she could.

Racism: "all white people be racist." His goofy racial shtick made him a black(er) Ant. Poor little nigger thinks the system be unfair.

Conspiracy theory nigger: actually AMAZING stuff even if most of it wasn't true. Unfortunately Jim always chimed in and made it unlistenable. God damn I hate Norton so fucking much.



Speaking of Norton the only good thing about that video was that he got called out right in front of Colin: "that stupid voice you have in the tape is your real voice". I love that they played it off for laughs, but Jim really did steal a bunch of his personality from Colin. The gruffer voice, the sweetie child baby boy, the fake alcoholism, anything to be more like Daddy Quinn. Too bad he didn't steal being funny or entertaining from him.

Everything about Norton was stolen from someone else. Majority was from Colin Quinn but a lot came from Jim Florentine. The whole “metal guy / Ozzy fan” came from Florentine and it was obvious when he wouldn’t even know bands like Pantera and other bands who played Ozzfest multiple times. Don’t forget Norton actually saw the Village People in concert and knew the members names but somehow hasn’t heard any popular song over the last 30 years.

 

[LingerLonger]

I always liked Patrice, but IMO part of his charm was the absurdity of an obese failure of a man dispensing life advice like he was the black Ben Franklin or something. Few people were less qualified to pontificate on anything than Patrice was. In that sense, he really did fit in with The Gang perfectly, because they're all that way.

Yeah that was the comedy. Patrice would get on the radio. Talk about how 'alpha' you need to be to score threesomes and tens and bang random women constantly. But the dude had a non functioning penis, an ugly girlfriend, and her kid from another dude. It was was hilarious when this obese maniac would rip on the models and women in the studio and treat them like they were nothing and he was better than them. These groups like the NFL, Sports Illustrated, Playboy Radio, and whatever promotions from XM/Sirius would send in models and if Patrice was there he would be as rude as possible because it was so ridiculous for a guy like him to talk down to models and tens.

I always felt like Patrice's gimmick was that he knew he could never score with these women. So instead he went the other way and basically did nothing but insult and piss them off with backhanded complements or rants. Like if you have no chance with a woman....but all these people are listening on the radio.....why not act as insane as possible and start talking about how models are "not on his level" or whatever.

Imagine being a cover model and you go into some random radio show. And an obese maniac is laughing at you saying that you are not good enough to date a nobody comedian and literally everyone in the room is laughing with his jokes and you cannot figure out why.

 

[guest]

I agree but also disagree. Part of it was because theses guys were friends for decades. So not only did you have to get all of the inside references to old movies and tv shows to get their humor. But a lot of their jokes against each other were personal jokes about things that no one even in the audience would know about. And a lot of their attacks on each other were very specific to standup comedy like making jokes about being 'openers' and 'middles' and so on. The O&A lore is more complicated than Star Wars or Star Trek or Warhammer. Not that any of it is important in the grand scheme of things. But to truly 'get' the O&A show you had to be a hardcore listener.

Another thing is that during these roasts they would fake laugh to make the jokes against each other seem bigger. Like if someone ripped on Norton during the Norton roast everyone would just laugh no matter what unless the joke brutally bombed. It was not really mercy laughing but more just piling on top of the loser. Same with ripping on O&A during Jocktober. They would rip on O&A for things during Jocktober that had nothing to do with Jocktober at all. During one O&A roast of old O&A radio shows they just spent like fifteen minutes ripping on Anthony for showering with his father which had nothing to do with anything.

But you are right about their cabal. The Comedy Cellar crowd hacks were notorious for having their own little clique of mid level comedians that never amounted to anything. It was almost a badge of honor among them to have a failed tv show or tv pilot.

And this forum being funnier than O&A is a part of O&A. The Pests made a huge amount of O&A over the years. Assault on the media, homeless shopping spree, even Jocktober was always produced by the Pests. Pretty much all of the best song parodies were made by the Pests as well. Some of the Erock parodies and jingles still make me laugh. When the Pests used to raid other radio shows or message boards and pretend to be the family of Scot Peterson or Jon Benet it was always funny.

Standup is not art. And I barely consider it entertainment. But O&A really was amazing. I still feel sick that the show ended so horribly and the lives of everyone involved in the show are so pathetic.

If Nana and Opie are lurking here and NOT reading your takes, they're tangibly missing out on the most honest, in depth critique out there about them. You leave no stone unturned, tyfys.

 

[guest]

Yeah that was the comedy. Patrice would get on the radio. Talk about how 'alpha' you need to be to score threesomes and tens and bang random women constantly. But the dude had a non functioning penis, an ugly girlfriend, and her kid from another dude. It was was hilarious when this obese maniac would rip on the models and women in the studio and treat them like they were nothing and he was better than them. These groups like the NFL, Sports Illustrated, Playboy Radio, and whatever promotions from XM/Sirius would send in models and if Patrice was there he would be as rude as possible because it was so ridiculous for a guy like him to talk down to models and tens.

I always felt like Patrice's gimmick was that he knew he could never score with these women. So instead he went the other way and basically did nothing but insult and piss them off with backhanded complements or rants. Like if you have no chance with a woman....but all these people are listening on the radio.....why not act as insane as possible and start talking about how models are "not on his level" or whatever.

Imagine being a cover model and you go into some random radio show. And an obese maniac is laughing at you saying that you are not good enough to date a nobody comedian and literally everyone in the room is laughing with his jokes and you cannot figure out why.

If I were one of those hot bitches brought on the show, I'd have let Patrice yap for an hour, negging me for being a dumb woman etc...and how's he's the man. When's he's done I'd just make out with Opie for being "the handsomest, Whitest and richest man in the room". That would make Patrice's absurd reality generation just come to a funny halt.

Just thinking up mean scenarios, don't mind me lol.