Joseph Cumia gives us a long speech about family values and how he and his siblings were raised right, tough love, etc.

[satanssockpuppet]

"Lout" is underused these days. It also perfectly describes Joe Senior and Junior.

As does "bum". Joe is a literal bum. He's a mooch who avoids work at all costs. He's coasted through life, putting in the absolute bare minimum, which is why after forty years of practice, Joe still "plys his trade" on a tiny stool in a nearly-empty local tavern. Everything he has came courtesy of a cheap, lazy, hacky, racist song parody video he slapped together decades ago, the entire concept of which he swiped from the old Stern show. Everything else he's ever done has been an abject failure. And on top of that, his actual playing hasn't developed at all, and still consists of fat-fingered, muscle-memory versions of ancient old tunes from his long-ago youth. He puts zero effort into everything he does. He is a bum.

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

“I've never had a drug/alcohol problem, never arrested for committing any crime (DWI Included) I've always behaved respectfully and amicably in public (especially when women and/or children are present) and have had a pretty good life”

LIES

 

[TorpidSloth]

As does "bum". Joe is a literal bum. He's a mooch who avoids work at all costs. He's coasted through life, putting in the absolute bare minimum, which is why after forty years of practice, Joe still "plys his trade" on a tiny stool in a nearly-empty local tavern. Everything he has came courtesy of a cheap, lazy, hacky, racist song parody video he slapped together decades ago, the entire concept of which he swiped from the old Stern show. Everything else he's ever done has been an abject failure. And on top of that, his actual playing hasn't developed at all, and still consists of fat-fingered, muscle-memory versions of ancient old tunes from his long-ago youth. He puts zero effort into everything he does. He is a bum.

It might be too British and too old-fashioned, but "frightful oik" is a perfect description of Joe, especially whenever he's mooing about his musical prowess.

 

[Rick Roblinson]

Now that's a vintage Bro Joe post. ALL CAPS. Emojis . He had been slipping there for a minute.

 

[VoteJello]

I'm a millenial that got spanked and beaten/abused by my boomer parents and in retrospect I think it actually made me kinda retarded. Even more retarded than I already inherently am! It kinda gave me a "fuck this shit" attitude and stunted my maturity. But generally speaking, boomers treat this shit like the "trophy generation" trope. Nigga, thats YOU! YOU wanted the trophies so bad, and YOU stopped spanking lmao that's just #CommonSense

 

[satanssockpuppet]

It might be too British and too old-fashioned, but "frightful oik" is a perfect description of Joe, especially whenever he's mooing about his musical prowess.

Joe is a pretty good cover band-caliber guitar player. He's a good mimic, adept at memorizing songs, and playing passable versions of those songs. But his playing is like painting-by-numbers. The end result is a halfway decent reproduction of actual art, but it's not art itself. Joe has no personal style, or flair, beyond cheap showboat moves and poses. He's not good enough to last in a real band, or to teach. He's maxed out with doing plodding versions of old classic rock chestnuts, and it's all he'll ever be.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I'm a millenial that got spanked and beaten/abused by my boomer parents and in retrospect I think it actually made me kinda retarded. Even more retarded than I already inherently am! It kinda gave me a "fuck this shit" attitude and stunted my maturity. But generally speaking, boomers treat this shit like the "trophy generation" trope. Nigga, thats YOU! YOU wanted the trophies so bad, and YOU stopped spanking lmao that's just #CommonSense

Boomers were the parents that encourages kids to “be / do anything you want!” When it came to choosing a career then cry their kids are all soft snowflakes - boomers pushed the lie that life IS fair and their kids are the most special people in the world yet they were told growing up life is hard and it isn’t fair so deal with it.

 

[VoteJello]

Boomers were the parents that encourages kids to “be / do anything you want!” When it came to choosing a career then cry their kids are all soft snowflakes - boomers pushed the lie that life IS fair and their kids are the most special people in the world yet they were told growing up life is hard and it isn’t fair so deal with it.

It wasn't necessarily a lie though, because generally speaking life actually was more than fair to them. They're just like really stupid versions of Jews.

 

[TorpidSloth]

Joe is a pretty good cover band-caliber guitar player. He's a good mimic, adept at memorizing songs, and playing passable versions of those songs. But his playing is like painting-by-numbers. The end result is a halfway decent reproduction of actual art, but it's not art itself. Joe has no personal style, or flair, beyond cheap showboat moves and poses. He's not good enough to last in a real band, or to teach. He's maxed out with doing plodding versions of old classic rock chestnuts, and it's all he'll ever be.

Yeah, exactly. If he described himself like that professionally, you'd say fair enough.

But his delusions of grandeur, of surpassing real artists who write their own music, his equating playing TGI Fridays and boomer cruise gigs with pro concerts, motels and sandwiches with four seasons lobster banquets, just make him the prize lolheifer he is.

May he live for a thousand years.

 

[nasty twp]

Nana bit a woman like a bitch
Nana kicked the same woman in the tit

Wasn't the poor gel kicked in the cuntbone too?

Tree fort dicksuckery

Counterpoint that the Treefort incident wasn't really instigated by either Cumia bro, nor was it exactly objectively universally criminal or a problem (though probably considered as much by draconian American law of the time). A teen boy of Anthony's then-similar age and who was his friend made a soft pass at him when they were both in a safe private setting, Anthony passively declined and Richard respected his wishes then backed off, the end. It happens. RIP Rich, you were a real one, and not a rapist like your boyhood bestie.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

Imagine instead of having real, actual conversations with your child where you teach them life lessons, you just beat the shit out of them and expect them to figure the lessons out themselves.

Interesting that he notes that Dawn was spared the child abuse. And lo and behold, Dawn is a normal person with a normal job and a normal family (from what I can tell).

Meanwhile, Anthony and Joe scuffled through school and did drugs. Joe was forced into the Army, where he washed out in less than a year. Joe sold drugs. Anthony in his own book describes young adult Joe as a massive piece of shit. Neither have held a steady job in their adult lives. They're both lazy, classless pieces of shit. Joe in particular is a money-grubbing mooch. Both are racist. Anthony is also a pedophile, an alcoholic, and an abuser of women. Both are divorced. Anthony married a woman his brother fucked. And on and on and on.

 

[captainjapan]

When Layla gets out of line I make her eat My ASSHOLE BALL COCK AND TAINT. Some WOKE LIBTARDS call this sexual abuse. I spend TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS at Uncle G's every two days to FEED and CLOTHE her! Teaching Layler to work for her ROOM and BOARD will teach her to WORK HARD for what she is given and not to MOOCH like the lazy DEMON-RATS who want everything handed to them.

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

View attachment 256251

When Layla gets out of line I make her eat My ASSHOLE BALL COCK AND TAINT. Some WOKE LIBTARDS call this sexual abuse. I spend TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS at Uncle G's every two days to FEED and CLOTHE her! Teaching Layler to work for her ROOM and BOARD will teach her to WORK HARD for what she is given and not to MOOCH like the lazy DEMON-RATS who want everything handed to them.

i bet she can't wait to be free of Moo in few years, imagine Joe giving her the fuck talk to the boyfriend

 

[captainjapan]

i bet she can't wait to be free of Moo in few years, imagine Joe giving her the fuck talk to the boyfriend

Listen here my fine feathered friend, I broke that pussy in and it belongs to me

 

[RealTonySchiavone]

I remember Anthony saying that he and JoeH would steal parts from neighborhood cars to repair their own.

 

[Anthony's Lime Rickey]

I remember Anthony saying that he and JoeH would steal parts from neighborhood cars to repair their own.

snorting coke with mom

 

[Ladynyahh]

Nana and Joe had coke parties with mom and Dawn
Nana stayed with a girl that sucked dick to save a lobster
Joe hit his ex with a frying pan
Nana would look in his underage neighbor's windows with his gay rifle with @BenDovid
Nana raped a girl in Cleveland
Nana was drunk and trying to talk to a young girl until Keith had to stop the father from beating the shit out of Nana
Nana cheated on Melissa with an underage girl
Nana went to his underage gf's prom in a casket suit
Didn't Joe call the cops on his bandmate Gene when he called him a faggot or something?

Anthony also had an "incident" with Bobos sister when she was underage, but I guess she didn't pursue legal action because she was too busy traipsing across Europe. Who funded that excursion? I'm just asking questions!

 

[Gay Faggot.]

or the time he put them on a cross country greyhound with no money.

You forgot the part that makes him father of year. Roe had bought them plane tickets to fly home. The businessman that Joe Sr is, he sold the tickets, and pocketed the extra cash after getting the greyhound tickets. JoeH learned much of what has made him such a success from Joe Sr.

 

[Ladynyahh]

You forgot the part that makes him father of year. Roe had bought them plane tickets to fly home. The businessman that Joe Sr is, he sold the tickets, and pocketed the extra cash after getting the greyhound tickets. JoeH learned much of what has made him such a success from Joe Sr.

At least JoeH turned out to relatively masculine. Anthony is a shrimp of a man and has womanly qualities beneath his "gruff" exterior. Roe and Joe should have had two daughters and a son.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Yeah, "the strap" too. I got slapped a few times as a kid by both my parents. My dad punched me in the face once when I was 14, but I'd told him to "fuck off" in front of my friend, and it was just a light jab really. But using what is essentially a weapon on your small kid is sadist shit.

I can't say he NEVER beat me. I really, REALLY deserved it when I got it though and I was always fighting size. My dad and I full-on fought a couple times when I was like 15-16. He fucked me up both times. I broke his ribs one time because I put my knees up when he was picking me up by the neck and chokeslamming me on my bed. Everyone thought that was pretty hardcore.

That was a big deal too. Whenever the "my dad could beat your dad" shit would come up at any age, everyone I knew would always be like "Abe's dad could kill all of our dads."