Joe is living on a cruise ship right now

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

No matter where you are or what you’re doing, remember that Joe Cumia is stuck on a floating prison right now.

While you may be lying in bed next to a loved one, or crushing it down at the job site, Joe Cumia is swaying back and forth in his 6X4 windowless cell. Or belting out some Oasis and quietly praying for tips because 5 teeth just fell out.

I’ll admit that as comical as it is, I have a bit of sympathy for the pathetic retard. He did it to himself, but I couldn’t imagine one of my boomer family members having to shuck and jive for tips from Europeans.

Save your money, folks. You don’t want to end up like Joe.

 

[CorradoSoprano4]

My favorite thing about this whole ordeal is him talking about the prospect of future gigs that are going to pay significantly more while being so close to death.

Joe, you're 65 years old. A person your age should be enjoying the retired life. You should be in the audience enjoying the cruise, not on stage performing cover songs badly from your tablet.

 

[Dennyislife]

We don't really have a major tip culture in the UK because we pay people an okay amount in minimum wage jobs like Joe's

 

[The Talking Dead]

What the fuck do you do on a cruise ship when you're the hired help and you're not working? Presumably they're not allowed to get drunk like the passengers but what else is there to do when you're trapped on there? Sounds fucking awful.

 

[RoSmokedCrack]

What the fuck do you do on a cruise ship when you're the hired help and you're not working? Presumably they're not allowed to get drunk like the passengers but what else is there to do when you're trapped on there? Sounds fucking awful.

You sit in your little quarters and count the teeth you've lost since departing.

 

[Mimi Beardsley]

Did he not save or invest that $60k per year windfall from his brother over all those years?

Forget it. It’s a rhetorical question.

 

[NoBacon]

Joe won me over when I was someone who wasn’t me on Reddit was harassing him over text telling him to play me Wonderwall for 2 bucks and he said “sure, this one goes out to the weird gay guy at back drinking sherley temples alone”

Funniest thing any Cumia has said in about 25 years.

 

[RoSmokedCrack]

Did he not save or invest that $60k per year windfall from his brother over all those years?

Forget it. It’s a rhetorical question.

 

[The Talking Dead]

You sit in your little quarters and count the teeth you've lost since departing.

Gonna cost more to fix his broken teeth than what he'll earn for his entire stint on that ship.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

View attachment 198360

I still can’t believe this is a real - what a dope! I remember a couple months ago Trump was trying to sell something stupid like NFT’s or trading cards and was having some special where you bought X amount of something and you got a framed small piece of the suit from his mug shot and claimed “this is very valuable and will be a great investment!” and the ad had to play a disclaimer at the end to not take this as investment advice and to invest wisely.

That disclaimer was needed because of people like Joe blowing their savings on Trump Junk.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

With the new teeth situation, he must've worked some more whistling tunes into his repertoire.

I imagine the slide whistle and many other Three Stooges sound effects accompanying Joe in many life situations.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Gonna cost more to fix his broken teeth than what he'll earn for his entire stint on that ship.

I don’t know why but I think the teeth falling out is the funniest part of the saga so far. He finally had to get some kind of a “real” job and it was so straining on him that his teeth fell out.

 

[RealTonySchiavone]

I almost can't believe the level of comedy so far. NOTHING has gone right for him on this trip, and there's so much more to come.

I'm hoping for some mystery/thriller aspects in the second act. Perhaps a suspicious death on board, or maybe something with light supernatural elements. JoeH starts hearing bumps and creaks in his decrepit cabin, and comes back to find his vitamin B bottle of sand knocked over. Is it poltergeist activity, or is he just losing his marbles? Who knows!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

The teeth is the funniest/saddest part of all of this. He only did this for a paycheck. He's been so stressed he's grinding his teeth to the point of snapping a bridge post and a bunch of his teeth fell out all at once. He's going to have to pay more for dental work than he's even getting paid for the whole 4 months. And he's going to pay CASH.

 

[Mimi Beardsley]

View attachment 198360

Now that’s a solid investment!

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

I still can’t believe this is a real - what a dope! I remember a couple months ago Trump was trying to sell something stupid like NFT’s or trading cards and was having some special where you bought X amount of something and you got a framed small piece of the suit from his mug shot and claimed “this is very valuable and will be a great investment!” and the ad had to play a disclaimer at the end to not take this as investment advice and to invest wisely.

That disclaimer was needed because of people like Joe blowing their savings on Trump Junk.

I heard a similar commercial on the radio around that time too. There was a bonus offer for people who bought 5k worth of the trading cards, they would be invited to a dinner with Trump.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

I hope he tries to get his teeth fixed in Slovakia or some shit and they fuck it up

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I heard a similar commercial on the radio around that time too. There was a bonus offer for people who bought 5k worth of the trading cards, they would be invited to a dinner with Trump.

That’s the one! The more you bought of whatever it was got you stuff like dinner at mar-a-lago for a “very fun event” or something. The disclaimer at the end telling you this I shouldn’t be considered an investment after Trump telling you it’s a great investment reminded me of this:

 

[TorpidSloth]

I hope he tries to get his teeth fixed in Slovakia or some shit and they fuck it up

Unlikely as it's a landlocked country.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

Unlikely as it's a landlocked country.

Shut up nerd