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I've been called sexy

Gronez_Bambatta

Gronez_Bambatta

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satanssockpuppet

satanssockpuppet

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After slipping on his ladies shoes, Andy Espresso admired his reflection in the full length mirror. "I've been called thexyyyyyyy" he lisped seductively to himself, his cratered, booze-sodden face a mask of hideous lust and unbridled depravity. Andy began vamping and prancing about the room with his hands on his hips in an exaggerated, swishy manner. "You all just hate how happy I am and how much FUN I'm having!" he purred. Sashaying his way to the bed, Andy then leaned over and creakily attempted to twerk, swiveling his hips back and forth in an almost spastic manner. He craned his neck to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. "That's right, you're a puss slayer, aren't you, big boy!" he cooed to himself.

Suddenly Andy heard a loud crack and felt a sharp pain radiate through his neck and shoulders. "Uh oh, hahahaHAholeeeeeshit! OWWWW! Your mother's cunt!" Andy groaned. His vitamin D depleted bones and withered, atrophied muscles finally gave way, and Andy was stuck, unable to move, in a nightgown and high heels, with his ass in the air. His beard would be home at any moment. How would he explain his way out of THIS one?
 
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