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I'm really ugly but I want to finally accept my flaws and move on

Patrick O'Neal

Forum Clout
36,365
So I know I'm ugly. I know I'm ugly bc I own a mirror and I've also had a few people tell me that I'm ugly to my face. I'm short, I have a uneven jawline, a fat nose, large pores all over my face, a lazy eye, small body frame, a small dick, and I have a skin condition that's spread all over my body. My skin condition isn't going to kill me, but it makes me feel very ugly, and I can't really do much to fix it, unless I want to spend thousands of dollars on a risky surgery that might or might not work.

Tbh I've never liked anything about myself and I've always wished I was born with better genetics. I always thought that God made me as a joke and because everyone in my family looks normal and I look like a freak. I've thought about ending it so many times bc I'm ugly.

Since I can't afford surgery, I think the best thing to do is just accept that I'm ugly. I'm 30M and I'm tired of living this doomer life. I'm tired of waking up every morning wanting to end it. I want to finally find peace and move on.
 

Leonard Rhomberg

Who are you gonna replace me with?
Forum Clout
16,408
me too mate,almost exactly the same as you.
My head,and jaw are misshapen,from an accident,I am shortish and overweight,and i'm covered in Psoriasis.

What are your good points?

I'm kind,a good listener,an attentive and generous lover,can cook well.All these behaviours i've learnt and practiced.
There is someone for everyone,in my experience.
 
G

guest

Guest
I don't know your age. I suspect you might be young, but I can't tell for sure. Sounds like you are a male.
But let's try and address this matter rationally:
  • Maybe you are not actually "ugly", you are just average, to put it bluntly. A few people telling you you are ugly doesn't mean anything. I was told multiple times that I am "ugly", but then I had some other folks find me attractive or neutral. Turns out, I am just average and some people like my face features more than others. Who cares
  • Maybe you are actually "ugly" in the sense that you are considered ugly by "most" people that live around you (again, important to specify that because of beauty standards etc). So what? Sure, looking good makes everything easier in life - but there are so many examples of folks who are not conventionally attractive, yet they are super smart, intelligent, charismatic, caring! You can be all of those things and more. Why do you focus on the only "flaw" you have?
Finally, maybe you are not blessed with the facial features of Brad Pitt - then maybe focus on building a great body. Go to the gym. Become strong. Take care of your body. If you really don't feel comfortable in your skin, there is always something you can work on. Without becoming a perfectionist or obsessed, that is. Taking care of your body by eating healthy and exercising can help you build a better relationship with it.
Ultimately, I think you should not focus on "coming to terms" with the fact that you think you are ugly, but start thinking about why this is so important to you, what else is important, and why it matters so much what others think or say. I know this sounds cheesy and maybe "easy" to say. But I really mean it.
And finally, if you feel like things are getting worse do not seek advice on the internet, seek help with a professional. There is absolutely no shame in that!
Hope you will be ok!
 

RobertMewler

Forum Clout
100,168
There's 2 types of attractiveness (with both being subjective):
  1. Physical (Harder to change)
  2. Emotional/ Personality (Easier to change)
So even if you feel your physical appearance can't be changed, you still have control over your personality attractiveness.

"I've also had a few people tell me that I'm ugly to my face."
They were a mirror reflection of what you believe and how you talk to yourself.

"I think the best thing to do is just accept that I'm ugly."
If you did then you would start feeling more attractive. And you would start enjoying your life more, which would help your emotional/ personality attractiveness.
The issue is, you're outsourcing your feelings of love, acceptance and self-worth to other people.
You practice the limiting belief:
  • "If I was physically attractive, then people would love and accept me, and then I would feel loved and accepted."
But that isn't true. Plenty of physically attractive people actually feel incredibly insecure and rejected (for various reasons).
To help you feel more emotionally attractive, I recommend being open to seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends.
Negative emotions are positive guidance
(although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts and emotions. So the solution is to build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you. Negative thoughts and emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self.
 

DeadWithoutMyDavid

xe/xim/xey
Forum Clout
41,539
Is your skin covered in gross sores or something?

There is a pajeet who works at a gas station near me and I won't go there when he's working because his entire body appears to be covered in bumps, sorta like blisters, and I'm afraid I'll catch black plague or whatever he has. What I'm trying to say is yes people are repulsed by your condition.
 

NoBacon

An honourable man.
Forum Clout
121,842
There's 2 types of attractiveness (with both being subjective):
  1. Physical (Harder to change)
  2. Emotional/ Personality (Easier to change)
So even if you feel your physical appearance can't be changed, you still have control over your personality attractiveness.


They were a mirror reflection of what you believe and how you talk to yourself.



If you did then you would start feeling more attractive. And you would start enjoying your life more, which would help your emotional/ personality attractiveness.
The issue is, you're outsourcing your feelings of love, acceptance and self-worth to other people.
You practice the limiting belief:
  • "If I was physically attractive, then people would love and accept me, and then I would feel loved and accepted."
But that isn't true. Plenty of physically attractive people actually feel incredibly insecure and rejected (for various reasons).
To help you feel more emotionally attractive, I recommend being open to seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends.
Negative emotions are positive guidance
(although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts and emotions. So the solution is to build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you. Negative thoughts and emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self.

It’s nice that you gave him this much consideration but he needs to stop being a bitch and man up. Lift weights and go running. Drink water, get sunlight and fast. It’s literally that simple. He doesn’t need to do all that soul searching growth stuff. Become physically strong and people will treat you with respect.
 

FrogmanKurlan

Kill a commie for mommy, awright
Forum Clout
10,712
This is very gay. Lift weights and learn to box.
Day 1 of an old school no-sugars, no-carbs, only healthy fats diet. 6 small healthy meals/snacks day and a lean and green (6oz meat and salad) at night. Not drinking much alcohol at all, so to quit altogether is no big deal. Back to Sashimi, and NO FOOD AT ALL AFTER 8pm.



I’ve been feeling like ass since putting on 40lbs over the last 2 years…Lower back fucked up, can’t bend straight over to tie my sneakers without breathing hard, feels like I’m laying face first on a basketball if I try to get a tan on my fat ass…



A high weight of 250 today folks. It will only go down from here.



ANYONE CAN DO IT. Takes will power and the desire to feel healthy overriding the desire to eat food that tastes GREAT. I quit smoking and (backmin the day) blow…cold turkey. Just stopped at will.



If you follow this plan and get your body into “fat burning mode” (takes about 2 weeks of hardcore diet adjustment) WITH NO CHEATING…and the weight will fall off of you like a terminal AIDS patient.



(No offense AIDS patients….)



Goal- 210lbs…



PS- I cover my fatness up well. Being 6’ 1” helps big time.
 

Leonard Rhomberg

Who are you gonna replace me with?
Forum Clout
16,408
It’s nice that you gave him this much consideration but he needs to stop being a bitch and man up. Lift weights and go running. Drink water, get sunlight and fast. It’s literally that simple. He doesn’t need to do all that soul searching growth stuff. Become physically strong and people will treat you with respect.
Hey King! It's obvious you had to be nerfed because you were too awesome of a being! You a gamer at all? Let's game some time if you are! Learn to love yourself and realize that real - recognize- real! Make friends with good people and they should lift you up and help you love yourself. I sincerely hope your outlook on life shines brighter every day homie!
 

johnnynoname

I have a face like a shovel
Forum Clout
22,002
just ask 30 girls out, and 1 will say yes

ps- don't be a faggot, and be introspective about your looks
 
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