"I'm not gay"

[CarolMaxheinie]

You know who runs around aggressively explaining that they’re straight heterosexual badasses who love titties and beer and pussy? Effeminate panty-wearing closeted fags who are defensive about their obvious gayness and clumsily overcorrect for it

Pat, I saw your high school transcript and I’m sorry you’re so stupid. I can’t help that. As a man who has been openly homo for about 25 years, heed my advice: everyone sees how gay you act and nobody cares. It’s 2022, nobody gives a fuck. Besides, you’re too ugly to fuck a man OR a woman, so your sexual orientation is purely an academic exercise anyway.

 

[MonsterSteve]

What? You guys don't go around telling people how straight you are???

 

[wbgreen]

Pat is big brained. He never had to question his gender because he hasn't been able to see his penis in years.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Pat spent the morning thinking of which virtue signal to try and capitalize on his new followers with.

Elon? That’s a given. Trump doesn’t do it like he used to. Already got the abortion thing pinned to the top. As hard as he’s tried, calling people by the wrong name or accusing them of being pedophiles and serial killers has never really taken off.

“How about yet another gay friend but this one is 70-something years old and a very good friend of mine? I just claimed there was an 80 year old Vietnam vet I’m also extremely close friends with and nobody called me out on that bit of bullshit.

Ooh, he’s also going to insinuate that he could have been trans or non-binary if only he had the freedom to be those things as a teenager in 1962!

And even though I was making trans jokes about dinosaurs not long ago I’ll add that every single new term some faggot creates to describe how microscopically different their own personal form of mental illness is from all the others has always been true and has nothing whatsoever to do with social media driven trends. That should garner should cheap likes from the echo chamber!”

I can’t stress how much people like Pat and his totally unnecessary and incredibly obvious pandering would enrage me if I was actually one of these people.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

What? You guys don't go around telling people how straight you are???

Are you saying I’m a faggot?!

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

CorrecTing the record...

 

[Mike Glyer]

Has he ever gone a full week without clarifying his sexual orientation completely unsolicited?

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He's got such a diverse group of friends that have things happening to them at all times that are relevant to the newest mainstream talking points. Popular, slim, and not dumb guy!

 

[Mike Glyer]

You know who runs around aggressively explaining that they’re straight heterosexual badasses who love titties and beer and pussy? Effeminate panty-wearing closeted fags who are defensive about their obvious gayness and clumsily overcorrect for it

Pat, I saw your high school transcript and I’m sorry you’re so stupid. I can’t help that. As a man who has been openly homo for about 25 years, heed my advice: everyone sees how gay you act and nobody cares. It’s 2022, nobody gives a fuck. Besides, you’re too ugly to fuck a man OR a woman, so your sexual orientation is purely an academic exercise anyway.

Fawwwk yeah. Big fan of big fans of cock.

Why do you think he tries to hide his homosexuality since all of his "friends" (acquaintances and Twitter disasters) would give him the delicious virtue points he desires? Scared of Ole Tommy or something?

 

[Udders]

CorrecTing the record...

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Rick Lie Detector is one of my favorite bits.

He's got such a diverse group of friends that have things happening to them at all times that are relevant to the newest mainstream talking points. Popular, slim, and not dumb guy!

Hook nose Stern does the same thing. Even though hes a shut-in, its at least plausible he knows a lot of people. The only people who tolerate Pat are ones we've seen pictures of.

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

View attachment 43309

The fuck is he talking about? We all knew they existed, they just fell under the umbrella of queer. It's not like no one knew they existed before they got their own ultra-specific subcategory. News flash, Pigger, people still by-and-large don't know what an omnisexual genderqueer is, so even if they've created a nested variant of all their own, the average Joe just knows they're queer.

Don't try to read into anything he says. If it's not narcissistic self-aggrandizement, it's performative garbage with a subtext of "buy my book". All of these fucking twitter losers do this. Look at John Scalzi's Twitter and its the same shit. "I'm woke and smart and cool and you should buy my books". Fucking loser assholes.

 

[Mc.Faggot]

Pat has never wanted to suck cock

Deal with it

 

[FurBurger]

Has he ever gone a full week without clarifying his sexual orientation completely unsolicited?

On that note, I can't think of a single time that he's denied fucking kids, despite all of the accusations he's faced.

Makes your think.