If you regularly go to bars in your 40s, you're almost certainly a loser

[guest]

If you're going on your own, during the day, and cluttering up the bar area with a laptop pretending to be a writer (while coming up with around 150 words a day) congratulations, you're an abject failure and very, very fat.

 

[AntSucks]

I used to work in bars, and I got out of it after a year. At first it was fun, but when you see the same people you realize how pathetic they are and you're just enabling them. What keeps bars in the business are the people who turn 21 every day, and not their regulars.

 

[fusciasomething]

I used to walk to a bar pretty regularly after tennis for a couple beers and the same guy was always there on his laptop. All the computer did was bring attention to him and the fact he was almost certainly a very lonely drunk.

 

[guest]

I used to walk to a bar pretty regularly after tennis for a couple beers and the same guy was always there on his laptop. All the computer did was bring attention to him and the fact he was almost certainly a very lonely drunk.

Was he by any chance a fat faggot with bitch tits?

 

[guest]

I used to work in bars, and I got out of it after a year. At first it was fun, but when you see the same people you realize how pathetic they are and you're just enabling them. What keeps bars in the business are the people who turn 21 every day, and not their regulars.

I worked in a few as a student including one very nice "Ye Olde English" type pub. There was a regular called Andrew who the staff referred to (not to his face) as Mental Andrew, partly to differentiate him from Big Andrew, another daily regular. Big Andrew was pretty straightforward. Just a massive jolly nerdy bachelor who would come in every single evening for several pints of ale. He basically worked in order to pay his rent, food, beer and hobbies. Fine.

Mental Andrew, as the nickname would suggest, wasn't so straightforward. He looked like a middle-aged Tarzan. Good looking guy in great shape, long hair and perma stubble. Incredibly posh. You wouldn't think he was gay until the summer when he'd walk in in a tight wife-beater and cut off denim shorts up to his arse. Still totally un-camp or swishy in voice or behaviour. He got the "Mental" moniker from coming out with these bizarre non-sequiturs and random stories out of nowhere. You'd ask him how he was and he'd say something like "I've heard Prince Philip has bollocks like a bulldog" or would tell you out of the blue about a holiday in Turkey he went on 20 years ago.

Every time he came in was the same pantomime. He'd mull over what he was going to have. Whoever was serving him would play along. Eventually he'd settle for a pint of the same cider he chose every single time. Pints 2, 3 and 4 were a "I really shouldn't" charade with the same outcome every time. He would always cut himself off after number 4 and would pay and politely leave, probably to go to Hampstead Heath for some anonymous shagging or home to drink some more. He was obviously trying to maintain the facade of not being an alcoholic but was fooling no one but himself.

You sometimes meet these quirky or even interesting characters while working behind a bar but, like you said, the die-hard regulars are always ultimately depressing.

 

[guest]

Hey I'm 37 and I go to a bar every weekend. I just leave my laptop at home. I go to shoot pool and play dice and gamble with bosnians.

 

[guest]

Hey I'm 37 and I go to a bar every weekend. I just leave my laptop at home. I go to shoot pool and play dice and gamble with bosnians.

Weekend is the operative word

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Weekend is the operative word

Exactly, normal people go to bars on the weekends / Friday night because they have jobs and get together with friends that also have jobs. Pat goes alone to sit up at the bar in the AFTERNOON on a WEEKDAY which is beyond sad. That not “cool writer” behavior, that’s pathetic alcoholic behavior.

 

[fricklefrackle]

Hey I'm 37 and I go to a bar every weekend. I just leave my laptop at home. I go to shoot pool and play dice and gamble with bosnians.

Same here but with Russians... got the Albanian barmaid to draw our Patrick once.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

When working at a bar, few things annoyed me more than the people who called themselves regulars. They’d act entitled, try to avoid paying cover on weekends when it was busy, try to be friends with and bother the staff even though we were working/busy, act like idiots and feel like they won’t get thrown out and if they did get tossed they’d be like “I’m never coming back, I’ll go to the bar down the street!”, but inevitably they’d come back the next weekend with some lame apology.

If we had regulars setting up at the bar with a laptop and a fucking mouse, my boss would have told me to Uncle Phil his ass right over the patio. Incredibly disrespectful of Pat to do that routinely, but of course he is so autistic and narcissistic that he thinks people welcome it and are interested.

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

At least it gives Nikki time to frig herself off to dyke porn and wash her big flappy ears and get a break for a few hours...

Can you just imagine the relief she feels when he leaves so she doesn't have to listen to his fey, gay, old queen voice going ON and ON about Star Wars toys and how evil Republicans are, how he is going to stare down stalkers in court etc etc...

And also of course its so very important for Fatrick to show the world he is a WRITER and has a MUSTANG...

I mean child, why let the book talk for itself when you can be smug and show off in a shitty local bar???

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

At least it gives Nikki time to frig herself off to dyke porn and wash her big flappy ears and get a break for a few hours...

Can you just imagine the relief she feels when he leaves so she doesn't have to listen to his fey, gay, old queen voice going ON and ON about Star Wars toys and how evil Republicans are, how he is going to stare down stalkers in court etc etc...

And also of course its so very important for Fatrick to show the world he is a WRITER and has a MUSTANG...

I mean child, why let the book talk for itself when you can be smug and show off in a shitty local bar???

You want to see sad, go to a dog track at opening and to bet the afternoon races. Did this on my day off and the people were so aggressively sad it made me feel bad about myself. Literally nobody you see would you mistake for someone with a good life

 

[guest]

Same here but with Russians... got the Albanian barmaid to draw our Patrick once.

First of all, that's HILARIOUS. I hope you tipped her good for that.

And I imagine a Russian bar is the same as a Bosnian one: if you pulled a laptop out, the bartender would go "Tha fuck you think you are doing?" in her scary accent.

That's one of the reasons I go to a Bosnian bar: the drinks are cheaper, they cut you off less frequently and they don't put up with stupid shit

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I worked in a few as a student including one very nice "Ye Olde English" type pub. There was a regular called Andrew who the staff referred to (not to his face) as Mental Andrew, partly to differentiate him from Big Andrew, another daily regular.

Allo guvnah - I'd like a st-... st-.... st-... a st-... Pint of Guinness.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

First of all, that's HILARIOUS. I hope you tipped her good for that.

And I imagine a Russian bar is the same as a Bosnian one: if you pulled a laptop out, the bartender would go "Tha fuck you think you are doing?" in her scary accent.

That's one of the reasons I go to a Bosnian bar: the drinks are cheaper, they cut you off less frequently and they don't put up with stupid shit

Those Balkans love to drink. I went to my coworkers house for lunch one weekend and ended up drinking Raki with her Albanian in Laws. Basically their attitude was "you're a man so your place nat this get together is to sit with the men and do shots"

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

You want to see sad, go to a dog track at opening and to bet the afternoon races. Did this on my day off and the people were so aggressively sad it made me feel bad about myself. Literally nobody you see would you mistake for someone with a good life

I'm a filthy potato fucking Paddy so I've seen some SAD fucking things mate in pubs and bookies and that,I remember buying some gear off this bloke about a decade ago and he was with this other fella in the car... Well the bloke in the car had RETURNED all the kid's Santa presents, about 700€ worth and spent the lot on tablets, gambling and drink. This was like 3-4 days before Christmas Day... but damn that racetrack thing just painted a picture!

I remember when I got out on TR (temporary release) from prison(I ended up getting off most weekends towards last few months) and went down to the early house because the bird I was seeing wasn't up yet, and I thought I'd see like people off late shift, nurses, dockers, market traders or whatever... No...it was mostly sweaty, shaking, smelly, sad alcos happily paying a huge markup for their takeaway cheap vodka and wine...the worst thing was a woman coming in with a very young baby in her arms and shouting at her other kid, about 4-5, who was minding the pram(stroller to you yanks!) at the door. She spent a big chunk of her childrens allowance money on overpriced drink and was just an angry, loud, jittery mess...her kids hadn't a chance.

Fatrick thinks he is being cool, hip, badass and brilliant by going to a bar and writing all day...any criticism of that will be met with him oinking about his 'work environment' , his 'buddies' in the bar, his clout he has there and how YOU are the loser with no friends. Yet he sits on his own, day after day, paying a fortune to them for what he thinks is incredible rare craft beer and reheated store bought food.
I mean we know it's to give Nikki the space to have her bull or cow over and have fun but what Fatrick sees and what the world sees are two completely different things.

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

Same here but with Russians... got the Albanian barmaid to draw our Patrick once.

This is one for downloading...she deserves a generous tip and if you can get a series of these artworks I would love to see how Fatrick takes them... He will be smug and say child/stlaker but hopefully can be baited into saying not very woke stuff against your lovely Balkan waitress there...

'no child I didn't make that face'

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

Same here but with Russians... got the Albanian barmaid to draw our Patrick once.

That was one of my favorite Pat posts. An all-time classic.

 

[NikkisCrustyGusset]

Hey I'm 37 and I go to a bar every weekend. I just leave my laptop at home. I go to shoot pool and play dice and gamble with bosnians.

Yeah brother you go and do normal things like a functional adult and sound like you have a good time! Fatrick thinks we are all weak, obsessed, virginal, socially inept weirdo stlaker children who would wither at his steely glance(actually that squinty, pig eye, chubby cheeked look he gets when he smiles is one of the most repugnant things about him!) and who would get folded up and taken out by his moves...
He has no real friends, a poor marriage, no income, a debilitating addiction to Twitter but especially the last word, he projects this badass image and it comforts him to think that nobody at all who 'stalks' him can have a cool weekend like yours mate

 

[guest]

Barnel Tremmel made this same observation...walking by the Hooligans window everyday like clockwork, he noticed Pat. So one day, while Pat was outside, Barnel made the fatal mistake of saying what you just said, but without any ill will...he said it like some magic negro looking to give some profound advice but autistic Pat took offense and decided right there and then, that this nigger had to DIE.