If Patrick is indeed being pressured to get a job, what even is he qualified to do?

[guest]

I could see maybe like UPS or some sort of warehouse type job. Mr. 250lb Bench Press should have no trouble moving heavy boxes around.

My best guess would be go back to selling cars. He might actually be good at it if he could trick his autistic brain into making it a fun game.

Any other ideas?

 

['THE NIGGER MAN']

Yeah, customers want some fat and lispy sissy rage-tweeting during a sale.

 

[guest]

He might get his insurance salesman certs back again. That's about the closest thing to a real job he's ever had. He pretty much has to choose between that and Wal Mart.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

My best guess would be go back to selling cars.

He'd probably try to scam the finance company like Jerry Lundegaard except Pat would be less successful at it.

 

[DanMullen'sRetardedNephew]

His only relevent qualifications are being a massive cunt on twitter and filing idiotic lawsuits. Don't think either of those are in high demand in today's workforce.

 

[NoBacon]

I need a new gardener. He’s not allowed in the house though, he’s definitely the theiving kind.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He’s got very little he can bring to even an entry level position and he’s over 40 and has been laying on a couch for years. Auto sales you gotta work if you want to get paid and that means having to put in long hours. Plus Pat not interacting with adults for close to a decade has ruined his already poor social skills. He can’t relate to other adults in any way so he would just be so awkward he wouldn’t be able to sell shit.

Pretty much all he’s qualified for is retail, restaurant, or entry level customer service positions. Even then his behavior would be awful in any workplace since he would be a lazy snarky mr know it all. He’s fat, old, and lazy so any physical labor is out of the question. He’s fucked.

 

[guest]

McDonald's. But nowhere near food prep. One of the slow coaches who goes round collecting trays and wiping down tables. Literally imagine him in Micky D's uniform mumbling "are you finished with that? Can I take your tray?" Of course he's too lazy and cumbersome to actually do it but it's the job he was put on this Earth to do.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

Sitting on a couch testing the weights of beer cans

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Late-night hotel security. Gives him loads of time to tweet, work on his novels, surreptitiously snack from strangers' minibars.

 

[Jim Norton’s Wife's Cock]

I'm not sure, but if he ever considered being a professional punching bag i'd pay good money for his services.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Also to note - he has next to zero work appropriate clothes. He has one dress shirt and jacket and I’m sure zero slacks / khakis so he would need to beg Niki for money just to have clothes to wear to any office type job. He might have had dress clothes when he was selling insurance but he’s way too fat now. He dresses like a dork teenager so he probably doesn’t even own anything with a collar.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

He doesnt have the gumption to do entry level labor, and entry level service industry he has already shown that he cant handle someone telling him what to do. I havent a clue what he could do out there

 

[FranksWirecutters]

 

[wbgreen]

McDonald's. But nowhere near food prep. One of the slow coaches who goes round collecting trays and wiping down tables. Literally imagine him in Micky D's uniform mumbling "are you finished with that? Can I take your tray?" Of course he's too lazy and cumbersome to actually do it but it's the job he was put on this Earth to do.

Any McD franchise could hire a Down syndrome kid to do what Pat can do, but the Downs kid will have a positive attitude.

 

[GiveItAResto]

Parking lot cart pusher at Walmart

 

[Nick Gerlips]

He's an expert in everything according to him.

 

[Nick Gerlips]

I need a new gardener. He’s not allowed in the house though, he’s definitely the theiving kind.

You see his garden? It looks like shit. I wouldn't hire him.

 

[TokenX]

Rodeo clown.

 

[42069]

Sales. He has no shame and will gladly scam people for a commission. My guess Cars or real estate