I was almost arrested for rape...

[not that Jack Horner]

There's always going to be dumb bitches around but it can be hard to find good bros.

this guy didnt sound like a good bro lol

 

[Turk February]

I was almost arrested for rape, but I showed the cops my katana (a japanese sword, very sharp, very danger) and said "you have neglected to give me an opportunity to defend my honor." I was wearing my gi (japanese clothing, used for karate) and my karate belt. (a belt used in karate) The police never showed up to my house again.

 

[guest]

this guy didnt sound like a good bro lol

Always nice to have a loser around to flex on.

 

[DMAN]

Lol @ The white knight simp cop puncing you in the gut. Should have tried to shakedown for punitive damages. Yes, I was very very injured. Sir. I'm hurt.

 

[guest]

Lol @ The white knight simp cop puncing you in the gut. Should have tried to shakedown for punitive damages. Yes, I was very very injured. Sir. I'm hurt.

I think @Chiseler is white

 

[Milk74]

this guy didnt sound like a good bro lol

I was an insanely good bro!

Story continued...

He was couch surfing during this time and had my spare key(Because i'm an awesome bro that doesn't leave brothermen out in the cold), so when I got home at 9am he was there...

"Hey bro, where you been?"

"Listen man, I'm just going to come out with it...I was with *Stacy last night(I proceed to explain what happened).

"I knew it dude, I don't know how, but I knew you were with her"

"Yeah, well if it was wrong, I paid the price last night, and you dodged a bullet...I'm tired and need to go to bed. We can talk when I wake up."


When I woke up he was gone, but sent me the following text while I was sleeping...
1)
"Dude, I get it, I have other girls, so it's not like you fucked my wife, but it's still fucked up"
2)
"BTW, I know some of her friends, and she might have STD's, so you might want to get checked!"
3)
"FYI, we're boys for life, so no hard feelings, but this isn't over, I will win her! The competition is on!"

My reply

"She's all yours bro..."


It was a long time ago, so I'm sure I'm forgetting a detail or two, but that's the gest of it.

Bonus:

Me and my estranged father were having issues during this time, and he called my place at 3AM...When my buddy answered my old man assuming it was I says "I'm coming over there and I'm going to fucking shoot you!"

So, my buddy spent the rest of the night scared, and looking out the window for my murderous father, hence the reason for him still being up when I got home.

PERFECT NIGHT!

 

[not that Jack Horner]

I was an insanely good bro!

ii talking about your “friend” who only invited you over to buy everyone alcohol while he is cheating on his gf

 

[Harry Powell]

I was also only wearing white boxers with a small blood stain in the front...It was all very dramatic.

You kept your boxers on during sex? FAAAAAAGGGGGGOOOOOT

 

[Harry Powell]

I was an insanely good bro!

Story continued...

He was couch surfing during this time and had my spare key(Because i'm an awesome bro that doesn't leave brothermen out in the cold), so when I got home at 9am he was there...

"Hey bro, where you been?"

"Listen man, I'm just going to come out with it...I was with *Stacy last night(I proceed to explain what happened).

"I knew it dude, I don't know how, but I knew you were with her"

"Yeah, well if it was wrong, I paid the price last night, and you dodged a bullet...I'm tired and need to go to bed. We can talk when I wake up."


When I woke up he was gone, but sent me the following text while I was sleeping...
1)
"Dude, I get it, I have other girls, so it's not like you fucked my wife, but it's still fucked up"
2)
"BTW, I know some of her friends, and she might have STD's, so you might want to get checked!"
3)
"FYI, we're boys for life, so no hard feelings, but this isn't over, I will win her! The competition is on!"

My reply

"She's all yours bro..."


It was a long time ago, so I'm sure I'm forgetting a detail or two, but that's the gest of it.

Bonus:

Me and my estranged father were having issues during this time, and he called my place at 3AM...When my buddy answered my old man assuming it was I says "I'm coming over there and I'm going to fucking shoot you!"

So, my buddy spent the rest of the night scared, and looking out the window for my murderous father, hence the reason for him still being up when I got home.

PERFECT NIGHT!

Tell me more about your relationship with your father