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It was over a decade ago...My loser buddy was a loser, but had the gift of gab and always had new girls coming around. One night he brought around a chick that was obviously out of his league, I was a handsome young fella and I was paying for everyone's drinks(He was always broke and I knew he only invited me because I would buy everyone drinks), so I knew she would take a shine to me, but I obeyed the guy code and ignored her advances...Fast forward to the following weekend...She calls my place looking for him, but naturally he was out with his main girlfriend, so I simply told her I didn't know where he was. She said "screw him", and asked me to meet her, I said fuck it and agreed. After a few drinks she asked if I wanted to get laid..."Yes, yes I do". She was baby sitting her uncles mansion that was in the woods in the middle of nowhere, so I followed her there not having an idea of where I was...Long story short we are fucking like crazed dogs when out of nowhere she starts having convulsions while biting through her bottom lip and pissing herself! There was blood and piss everywhere, so of course I freak out and call 911. Luckily people still had landlines back then because I had no idea where I was. The small town cops and EMT's show up, and I take them to the bedroom and there she is knocked out with with blood pouring out of her mouth and pink piss(I guess she tore a bit during sex) everywhere. The small town sheriff took one look at her and immediately punched me in the stomach before throwing me to the ground and cuffing me while also accusing me of assaulting her...As I'm trying to explain what happened with the dick sheriff's the EMT's asked the fat fuck to calm down as they had questions for me, so there I was explaining what happened to one EMT while the other was going through her purse. Sure enough, between my story and the medication found in her purse it was obviously a seizure. The cops take off the cuffs and ask if I want to follow them to the hospital. Mind you I already don't remember this girls name(Which also didn't help my case when trying to explain that I didn't assault her.) I'm a nice guy, so I say sure... It didn't hurt that I had no idea where I was and needed to follow someone out of these woods...Anyhow, before I know it I'm sitting next to her and talking with the nurses and doctor trying to explain what happened...It was sooooo uncomfortable...
I have no idea why I just shared this story, but I blame @Nikki's Stinky Bum Bum .
I have no idea why I just shared this story, but I blame @Nikki's Stinky Bum Bum .
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Brief ..
