I used to do this bit when I was about 8 years old

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Never really thought of Kathy Lee Gifford as having tits at all but I'm sure it's accurate.

 

[Brooke Shields]

some kid was pretending to be frozen when it was his turn at wall ball, fat fucker killed

i had some parallel thinking and tried the same but moments later

crickets

felt horrible shame

I was running the bases one baseball practice and my helmet came off, kids laughed
Next time I was up to bat and ran again, I positioned my helmet poorly and shook my head while running to intentionally make it fall off. No laughs

That was the turning point in me never becoming a comedian. You can't do the same joke more than once!

 

[guest]

I was in a teasemance with this girl named Amanda in 4th grade where we'd just quip back and forth every day saying how we didn't like each other. One time I said her name was Amanda because she was "A Man, duh" which popped the boys pretty hard.

Fawwwk parallel thinking, did the exact same thing in the exact same situation. Same grade, even. Cellar kid's table regulars.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Where we at with milk, milk, lemonade, turn the corner fudge is made? An old time favorite where I come from

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart


I dunno, we would get bored in technology class, so we'd jab each other with soldering irons. Niggas had cigarette burn-like holes in their sweaters for the rest of the year because it was a public school.

 

[johnnynoname]

It was topical in 1998.

I didn't know Kids who sucked cock was in the news

 

[aRTie02150]

I was running the bases one baseball practice and my helmet came off, kids laughed
Next time I was up to bat and ran again, I positioned my helmet poorly and shook my head while running to intentionally make it fall off. No laughs

That was the turning point in me never becoming a comedian. You can't do the same joke more than once!

I'm embarrassed for that one

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I used to be a prick in middle school. One time we had a substitute who got lippy with me (probably for talking to my friends while she was doing her job). I looked over and told her to "be quiet -- wearing that ten-year-old Hallmark Store sweater."

Uproarious laugher ensued.