I may sound elitist here, but fuck this transient for thinking he can sing

[UnPRePared]

It's almost 5 A.M. I'm wide awake. I'm looking at my emails, and the ever reliable cunt of an American Fan sends me one, saying "URGENT".

It contains a simple YouTube link, saying "You really have to see this." The link is genuine, his grammar is correct (for, you know, an American), so I know it's not a fake or he's been hacked. So the link brings me to this:




I'm so crossed that I had to hear Anthony "Barely White" Cumia do a baritone in a cramped room with his trash friends. I hope this is his eternal hell.

I also hope the American Fan gets audited.





.... The gal was ok, though, but she's clearly trash if she's with a Cumia.

 

[Roslyn Heights Biter]

What's sad is the guy is super talented but instead of doing anything with it, he spends his time posting black crime videos.

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

What's sad is the guy is super talented but instead of doing anything with it, he spends his time posting black crime videos.

Cumes hasn't been "talented" or "hilarious" in easily a decade. At his peak he could hanging in there with a group of other funny people, but what he's doing now is him at the absolute peak of whatever's left of his talent.

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

 

[guest]

Who’s the better singer, Anthony Cumia or Ray Wilson? It’s a tough one, man…

 

[Toast]

Great singers always cross their arms when singing, right?

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I wanna see them big ol' flabbity floppers!

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Anthony singing a love song to a woman will never seem right.

 

[Stent]

Whenever Nana is trying to be serious about his singing he does that weird affected voice thing as though he thinks that's how a white person would sound.

 

[guest]

Whenever Nana is trying to be serious about his singing he does that weird affected voice thing as though he thinks that's how a white person would sound.

You know how you can tell when an actor is really acting and it takes you out of it? You can tell when Nana is singing, if that makes sense.

 

[Stent]

You know how you can tell when an actor is really acting and it takes you out of it? You can tell when Nana is singing, if that makes sense.

He should be slapping his knee, singing ho de do, with a wheat stalk hanging out his mouth, hoping master doesn't see him looking at Miss Jessamine's bloomers hanging on the washing line.

No, Massa Hughes! I didn' mean nuthin' by it! They's jus' right pretty is all!

 

[guest]

He should be slapping his knee, singing ho de do, with a wheat stalk hanging out his mouth, hoping master doesn't see him looking at Miss Jessamine's bloomers hanging on the washing line.

No, Massa Hughes! I didn' mean nuthin' by it! They's jus' right pretty is all!

You can really hear that in his voice.

 

[Wild]

Coming to a F.H Rieley's™ near you. Peel the sticker from the back of the menu and enter your code at Compound Media today. Taxes plus tip may be included.

 

[Andre The Giant]

He sounds like every other white trash boomer singing karaoke at a shit bar.

 

[UnPRePared]

I hate him.




We have enabled him enough. Impede Nana.

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

Why the fuck would you ever record yourself playing a cover, unless you're teenagers just starting up or if you're doing some unique thing with it? Who is this for?

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I hate him.




We have enabled him enough. Impede Nana.

Look at the wine jiggles in his glass when he puts "feeling" into his singing. Still hilarious.

 

[UnPRePared]

Oh God, there's more...






"Don't let your son go down on me - this isn't your show!"

 

[UnPRePared]

Who’s the better singer, Anthony Cumia or Ray Wilson? It’s a tough one, man…

Maybe if I crossed my arms REALLY hard, like an amalgamation of Anthony and Hank Rollins, I'll take the top spot.

But that's one experiment I'm not about to test!

 

[Ladynyahh]

Anthony is trying his best not to prance or mince here, singing the whole song with his arms crossed