I just met Patrick IRL. Weird experience

[Racist Google Intern]

Patrick doesn't have a spare 1500$ lying around, false.

 

[UnPRePared]

I met Patrick once during my first years in Poznan.

I was visiting The Imperial Castle for the very first time, took a turn down the wrong corridor, and came across this portly man just staring right through me as he leans against the corner of the wall. All he kept saying was "'You are noT Phil Collins, Mr. Wilson. You are the Scottish Gary Cherone, Raymond." I was taken aback by that, and shrugged it off with a sincere "Well, I just wished to put my own stamp on Genesis, young man, some things don't work out how you plan."

As I tried to walk around him, he stepped in front of me and said "Oh, no no no, sweeT summer ScoTTish child, you do noT understand! You were doomed To fail thanks to America! We are sworn Phil Collins fans, and we can'T live withouT our golden boy of Wandsworth, London!"

Sensing this could go down a very bad road, I nodded and said, "Yes, lad, I too love 'Something Happened On The Way to Heaven''. Keep the Heid, ye hear?" I finally pass him, but he begins singing "You'll Be In My Heart" from the Tarzan soundtrack, increasingly louder the further I get in the distance.

What's stranger, though, was I made the mistake of turning around for a final glance, and what eyes behold was that he put on sunglasses, took his trousers off, and was doing the strut from the "I Can't Dance" music video.

 

[lil chud]

I met Pat once at a RiteAid. He asked me if I needed help with anything. I saw he was wearing a faded captain America shirt so I asked him if he worked there and he just walked away.

 

[Nana's stent]

Steve mcqueen died in 1980 the maggots were done picking at his body more than 25 years ago

 

[Ants Hard Drive of Horror]

I met Pat once at a RiteAid. He asked me if I needed help with anything. I saw he was wearing a faded captain America shirt so I asked him if he worked there and he just walked away.

A rite aid?!?!?

Steve mcqueen died in 1980 the maggots were done picking at his body more than 25 years ago

1980?!?!

 

[Uncle Floyd]

I saw Pat with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's, where he proceeded to eat six #1s, three #8s, a quart of wonton soup, four egg rolls and seventeen packets of duck sauce.

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

This is a Jim Norton story from the sub. Linger longer fags.

I actually saw Patrick once while I was out with my wife. I live nearby and we had been in Milwaukee at an event and walked around after (yes I’m a Midwest rube) before stopping in a bar. The most noticeable thing about him is his love handles. I genuinely noticed him from behind because he had a tight grey shirt on and they stuck out like shit. It was around the time Detroit and GB played for the playoffs 2022-23. He looked utterly depressed and I believe something was happening with Nikki.

Does ANYONE have a real story that involves interacting with Pat IRL?

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

I own a very low key shoe store on North Ave here in Milwaukee, specializing in bespoke shoes and boots along with various leather goods. I use English traditional boot craftsmanship passed down through 7 generations, all my items come with personalised lasts and premium European hides. I take fittings and give estimates over the phone and take appointments for later in the week.

My usual clients are all from word of mouth, I have made one of a kind footwear, belts, braces and jackets for some of the richest people in the world including several members of the Saudi royal family, two US Presidents and a prime minister. Due to the specialised expertise and the labour intensive process coupled with the extremely high quality of materials, a pair of boots or shoes will cost on average around $6800.

So around 7 hours ago I was completely shocked to have Pat come by my store. Not only was it odd because it was someone I make fun of all the time but my store has no outside advertising or branding and is only visible through a small glass panel in the door to allow some natural light into the place.

He introduced himself and I told him how shocked I was and how I see on Twitter all the time. He was really friendly and said thank you for the compliments. He told me he had seen the store through the glass panel before and has looked through on occasion and has seen my apprentice working on some items and had decided to stop in next time he was in the area.

I explained to him what we were and what my services were about. He talked about how he is sick of wearing cheap shoes and would be interested in getting some custom made street boots, similar in style to Dr Martens or Red Wing work boots. At first I explained to him the high quality and price of having bespoke boots created and he might be better off going for something else, but was rather persistent and asked to look through my customer portfolio which I brought over for him to look at.

He took a liking to a pair of commando soled seven eye leather boot I dubbed "The Grunts" which I made for Steve McQueen around 25 years ago. I told him the boots were made from sharkskin leather and were one of the most expensive items I had ever made with the materials alone costing well over $6000. He asked about having me use a similar last to the one I used to create the same profile, but with a different hide, dropping two eyes and shortening the cuffage along with using a more common material for the sole to drop the cost. Eventually I took his measurements and a $1500 deposit and sketched a quick draft of what I had in mind which he told me he loved. He then left me his number and personal email.

So this is where things get weird. This afternoon I got an email from him telling me he was going to come and pay me in full tonight and wanted the order fulfilled within 2 weeks. I told him he would have to wait at least 4 months as I had stated when we met, due to demand and backorders and the fact I was awaiting my new order of hides and the special composite I use to make my outsoles.

He came back down to my store with Nikki and said he wanted his money back with a tone and attitude that seemed combative and hostile. I told him there was no problem with him having his deposit back and that I really only accepted his request because it would be a good story. I gave him his cash back and apologised for any misunderstanding and quipped that I hoped he would give me a plug on the Twitter, meaning to be ironic because obviously getting a plug on his socials would be no use to a bespoke craftsman operating in such a niche market.

Without any trace of a smile he said "don't count on it, child" and turned with Nikki and walked straight out the door. I sent him a text about 20 minutes ago saying:

“Hey Patrick I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything to offend you, it seemed kind of tense back there. I did explain to you at our initial meeting that there would be a considerable waiting period for any orders placed.”

He replied like half a second after with this:

You are going to prison, stlaker.
You are mentally ill, stlaker.
You have been instructed, many
thousands of times, to cease
contacting this phone number.
Continuing to do so constitutes
felony telephone harassment.
Do not contact this number
again.

Today has been really strange and I am kind of bummed he treated me like shit and am just amazed by the whole situation. Hope he talks about it on Twitter to see what on earth he thought was going on.

So is this all fake or what?

 

[Reginald The Florist]

Does ANYONE have a real story that involves interacting with Pat IRL?

I didn’t interact with him because he’s unhinged and I would be smiling too much so he would know I was from here.

He legit looked depressed as shit and Nikki wasn’t there. I believe this was around the time of the divorce rumors. I also remember watching him craft a tweet by looking at it, putting his phone down and thinking, then picking it back up and making some changes before sending it off. It was some retarded political tweet.

 

[Coonskin]

Does ANYONE have a real story that involves interacting with Pat IRL?

NO IDEA who this guy could be

r/opienanthony: Blurry Man (c) Phantas Magorical ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Wait nevermind you said interact

 

[YourOldPalHoward]

Steve mcqueen died in 1980 the maggots were done picking at his body more than 25 years ago

Did those really sound like the kind of boots a white man would buy?

 

[kingship75]

I saw Pat with a Chinese menu in his hand, walking through the streets of Soho in the rain. He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's, where he proceeded to eat six #1s, three #8s, a quart of wonton soup, four egg rolls and seventeen packets of duck sauce.

His hair looked like shit.
Ah-oooooooo.

 

[RoxburyRick]

I met him once at a luau. He had an apple in his mouth. I didn't eat his ass but I think I did eat some of his back.

I met Pat once he was a big fat guy or sumthin

 

[Uncle J’s Sink Emporium]

Does ANYONE have a real story that involves interacting with Pat IRL?

Yeah, that drunk Polish guy. And some other guy took a picture of him one time but that probably doesn’t count.

 

[UnPRePared]

Does ANYONE have a real story that involves interacting with Pat IRL?

The American fan ran into him while in line at a pharmacy, he was right behind him.

The cashier was making small talk with everyone, and asked the American "Do you have any kids?" He said to her "Not yet, I'm still practicing!" to a roaring laughter from everyone in line besides Pat.

Before the American fan hit the door, he heard the cashier asking Pat the same question, where he replied with a defeated "... Sorry, I don't have anything."