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I just found out I have a small penis. I always assumed I was average but I'm not.
I am engaged and my fiancee and I haven't had sex yet (religious reasons). I decided to go ahead and buy the condoms since our wedding is soon. The other day I woke up with an erection and decided I was just going to try it on to see what it was like. It was big on me. I know I'm not huge so I assumed maybe the condoms that I bought were just on the larger side, that's all, nbd. I looked it up, and the ones I bought, Trojan ENZs are basically the smallest fit you can buy in a store without special ordering them online. So I decided to actually measure my penis.
My penis is 5.4" long x 4" around. According to calcsd[.]info (can't post links), that puts me at 47th percentile in length (slighty less than average), 85th percentile in width (far far below average), and 15th percentile in volume (still well below average). I'm kind of having a crisis. My fiancee knows something is wrong because of the way I've been acting when we are on the phone but I can't say anything. As men we are shamed for having small penises and even further shamed for being insecure about it, like a vicious cycle and I feel myself falling into it.
I'm not a virgin. I have had one sexual partner from a LTR during college (pre-religion) and my size wasn't an issue I guess because she was a very small person and she had to be very warmed up to be able take it at all and two fingers hurt her no matter how warmed up she was or how much lube we used. I never wore a condom because she was on BC so I that's how I never really realized.
My fiance's not a virgin either. She had a few sexual partners in her past (pre-religion). I am freaking out because I pretty much know I will be the smallest she's ever had and I am worried that I won't be able to please her and she will always be thinking back about what she had before. I know she is not at all the person she used to be but I can't imagine she wouldn't be thinking that.
Now my fiancee and I have fooled around some (I know I know but this isn't a religion post) and she has seen my penis and I have fingered her. I have noticed that she is not nearly as tight as my ex was, which is totally fine and I'm not shaming her at all, I just have a huge fear that I won't be able to please her and our marriage will fall apart one day because of it. She has never said anything about my size but I have no idea what she's thinking. And of course this isn't something I can ever bring up. I'm sure she thinks about it but just hasn't said anything,
I looked on reddit to see how bad the prognosis really was and the first result I found was a woman ranting about how awful it was that her boyfriend had a small penis which was the exact same dimensions as mine.
I'm pretty crushed. I have called into work for the past three days and I hardly get out of bed. She's absolutely perfect and I just to break it off entirely and just be single for the rest of my life to avoid the humiliation of having an unsatisfied wife. I'm not looking for advice like you can always use your hands/mouth or toys or whatever else condescending words that get repeated when someone brings something up like this, even if the intentions are positive.
to everybody replying with the exact same thing:
how is my penis being thinner than 92% of men not small? overall volume less than 88%? The smallest condom you can buy at a store fitting like a trash bag so I have to special order them? you can say whatever you want but it's reality. law of probability says I am smaller than every partner she has had before. I overheard a comment from one of her old college friends talking about how she used to be a "size queen" which was way easier to get over when I thought I was average.
It's not in my head, it's reality. I'm insecure because it's a fact that can't be helped. I SHOULD be insecure about it. It's not irrational and it's not illogical. And if you insist that being insecure about it is even worse, then that just compounds the problem because now I have to be insecure about being insecure about a reality. I can't win.
I am engaged and my fiancee and I haven't had sex yet (religious reasons). I decided to go ahead and buy the condoms since our wedding is soon. The other day I woke up with an erection and decided I was just going to try it on to see what it was like. It was big on me. I know I'm not huge so I assumed maybe the condoms that I bought were just on the larger side, that's all, nbd. I looked it up, and the ones I bought, Trojan ENZs are basically the smallest fit you can buy in a store without special ordering them online. So I decided to actually measure my penis.
My penis is 5.4" long x 4" around. According to calcsd[.]info (can't post links), that puts me at 47th percentile in length (slighty less than average), 85th percentile in width (far far below average), and 15th percentile in volume (still well below average). I'm kind of having a crisis. My fiancee knows something is wrong because of the way I've been acting when we are on the phone but I can't say anything. As men we are shamed for having small penises and even further shamed for being insecure about it, like a vicious cycle and I feel myself falling into it.
I'm not a virgin. I have had one sexual partner from a LTR during college (pre-religion) and my size wasn't an issue I guess because she was a very small person and she had to be very warmed up to be able take it at all and two fingers hurt her no matter how warmed up she was or how much lube we used. I never wore a condom because she was on BC so I that's how I never really realized.
My fiance's not a virgin either. She had a few sexual partners in her past (pre-religion). I am freaking out because I pretty much know I will be the smallest she's ever had and I am worried that I won't be able to please her and she will always be thinking back about what she had before. I know she is not at all the person she used to be but I can't imagine she wouldn't be thinking that.
Now my fiancee and I have fooled around some (I know I know but this isn't a religion post) and she has seen my penis and I have fingered her. I have noticed that she is not nearly as tight as my ex was, which is totally fine and I'm not shaming her at all, I just have a huge fear that I won't be able to please her and our marriage will fall apart one day because of it. She has never said anything about my size but I have no idea what she's thinking. And of course this isn't something I can ever bring up. I'm sure she thinks about it but just hasn't said anything,
I looked on reddit to see how bad the prognosis really was and the first result I found was a woman ranting about how awful it was that her boyfriend had a small penis which was the exact same dimensions as mine.
I'm pretty crushed. I have called into work for the past three days and I hardly get out of bed. She's absolutely perfect and I just to break it off entirely and just be single for the rest of my life to avoid the humiliation of having an unsatisfied wife. I'm not looking for advice like you can always use your hands/mouth or toys or whatever else condescending words that get repeated when someone brings something up like this, even if the intentions are positive.
to everybody replying with the exact same thing:
how is my penis being thinner than 92% of men not small? overall volume less than 88%? The smallest condom you can buy at a store fitting like a trash bag so I have to special order them? you can say whatever you want but it's reality. law of probability says I am smaller than every partner she has had before. I overheard a comment from one of her old college friends talking about how she used to be a "size queen" which was way easier to get over when I thought I was average.
It's not in my head, it's reality. I'm insecure because it's a fact that can't be helped. I SHOULD be insecure about it. It's not irrational and it's not illogical. And if you insist that being insecure about it is even worse, then that just compounds the problem because now I have to be insecure about being insecure about a reality. I can't win.
