I have to entertain people in my house from tomorrow until Sunday

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm just going to put my best foot forward

Put it into his fuckin face

 

[captain_kamala]

finding food that a jewish woman will like should be no problem whatsoever

I sat next to a Jewish woman at a restaurant who asked for another server because the first asked too many questions trying to clarify her order, then she immediately sent it back for something she didn't even specify. I apologized to the manager and tipped extra and I'm black so that's a big deal.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

 

[goo gobbler]

have you considered beating your wife? losing a whole weekend and half a week for her to play the sims in real life..

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

I fucking hate staying at peoples houses. Everybody’s guest room sucks and you can tell it’s the room no one goes in. On top of that, you feel like you have to be appreciative 24/7 because you know damn well your ass should be in a hotel. All my friends seem to like their thermostats set at 78F. There’s always some awkwardness in the morning where you don’t know what’s an acceptable time to go downstairs. I live in mortal fear of clogging the toilet.

I refuse to do it anymore. I’ll pay for the Marriott thank you very much.

Anyways, that’s what I’d be thinking if I were Crispin Glover but since he’s already talking about “food considerations,” my guess is he’s made himself at home and judging how you live. Tell his ass to hit the Best Western on the other side of town.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

James needs a kick in the ass is what he fuckin needs.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

Twenty minutes later they were fighting like Holyfield and Tyson. Ten minutes after that they were making sweet love in the drunk tank.

They're God's children.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Twenty minutes later they were fighting like Holyfield and Tyson. Ten minutes after that they were making sweet love in the drunk tank.

They're God's children.

Oh you know he's hating having her slap him and poke at him and shit while he's trying to lip synch Def Leppard for the camera. As soon as that truck window rolls up, his good spirits are gone. That bitch will try to slap him again and he'll throw some jaw-crushing, knockout haymaker at her and she won't even seem affected by it. Natives are really something.

Edit: Lmao I just noticed that the only reason she was smacking him is because he had the Captain Morgan and she wanted more. She took it out of his jacket and he's too hammered to realize. When he notices he doesn't have it he's gonna spaz out and when he clues in that she has it, that bitch is gonna end up "being abducted and murdered by a white man" like they all are.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I fucking hate staying at peoples houses. Everybody’s guest room sucks and you can tell it’s the room no one goes in. On top of that, you feel like you have to be appreciative 24/7 because you know damn well your ass should be in a hotel. All my friends seem to like their thermostats set at 78F. There’s always some awkwardness in the morning where you don’t know what’s an acceptable time to go downstairs. I live in mortal fear of clogging the toilet.

I refuse to do it anymore. I’ll pay for the Marriott thank you very much.

Anyways, that’s what I’d be thinking if I were Crispin Glover but since he’s already talking about “food considerations,” my guess is he’s made himself at home and judging how you live. Tell his ass to hit the Best Western on the other side of town.

The not knowing when to leave the room in the morning really is awkward.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

James needs a kick in the ass is what he fuckin needs.

James legit looks like Harry and the Hendersons. He split his head in two on the basement steps before this horse pasture misadventure. He's been seriously hurting himself for all my life

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

The not knowing when to leave the room in the morning really is awkward.

The trick is to ask them how to make coffee in the morning. That lets them know you're not waiting for them.

That bitch will try to slap him again and he'll throw some jaw-crushing, knockout haymaker at her and she won't even seem affected by it.

It's like they've all had adamantium grafted onto their skulls. Trying to break up native domestic violence is a good way to get the shit kicked out of you by a horny squaw.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

i have to go to the zoo tomorrow

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

i have to go to the zoo tomorrow

Introduce Crispin Glover to the Danny Glovers (push him into the gorilla exhibit). They'll shoot all the gorillas and Crispin Glover and his fag kid will be traumatized.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Also, I'm not sure if you're aware of the stigma associated with the zoo and retards...

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Also, I'm not sure if you're aware of the stigma associated with the zoo and retards...

I lidurrly dont know nothin bout a retard or no zoo

 

[Jenna]

i have to go to the zoo tomorrow

That's not that bad. Make eye contact with the animals and explain your situation, they'll get it. Or maybe Crispin Glover will mentally control the rodents and have you eaten alive.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

That's not that bad. Make eye contact with the animals and explain your situation, they'll get it. Or maybe Crispin Glover will mentally control the rodents and have you eaten alive.

Glover is a pet spider/snake guy too.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Glover is a pet spider/snake guy too.

Does this fucking jerkoff have one redeeming quality at all?

 

[Jenna]

Glover is a pet spider/snake guy too.

So it's not even a fun zoo trip it's a "oh let me tell you about this majestic species of reptile" unwanted tour from Crispin?

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Does this fucking jerkoff have one redeeming quality at all?

That's a slippery slope once you start asking about that