• Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.

    DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:

    [email protected]

“I cum in a woman”

G

guest

Guest
Torque’sHeadBump said:
I don’t know why I’m gonna write this, but whatever. Here it goes:

I bet Pat is the absolute worst fuck on earth. I had a phase in my late 20s (why?) where I really enjoyed hangover sex. For whatever reason, I’d wake up with a splitting headache, stale beer breathe and nausea but I’d be ready to go almost right away.

My poor girlfriend had to deal with me groping and grinding until I convinced her to spread her legs, and about 5 pumps in I’d be done while she was annoyed that I’d woke her up. I would go back to sleep and then a few hours later be ashamed. I was also very overweight and had a horrid beer gut.

I bet that’s Pat’s sex life on a good day.
Click to expand...
Nothing better to clear away the hangover cobwebs though than one of those selfish nuts
 
G

guest

Guest
Ants Hard Drive of Horror said:
His wife had a device medically implanted in her so that his semen could not access her cervix. Call me crazy, but it's weird to marry someone who you absolutely refuse to have a child with.
Click to expand...
I'd go one further and say there's no reason to get married if you don't at least intend to have kids. Just be one of those couples that call each other "partners" and everyone wonders what's wrong with you
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top